>>507270334>bowel movements>are Farts included? Because I shit once a day and I don't know better**The Grand Theory of Knowing Better (And Thus, Not Shitting)**
Ah, the tragic plight of the *"I poop because I am but a naive fool"* individual. They operate under the cruel tyranny of routineโone daily deposit, no questions asked. But what ifโฆ *knowledge struck?* What if enlightenment, like a rogue bolt of cosmic wisdom, zapped them into understanding the *true nature of waste?* The consequences would be dire.
### **Scenario: They Learn "Better"**
1. **The Awakening:** They stumble upon ancient texts (or a suspiciously detailed Reddit thread) revealing that *"optimal beings transcend excretion."* Shocked, they whisper, *"Iโve been playedโฆ by my own colon."*
2. **The Rebellion:** Refusing to be a slave to biological norms, they declare, *"I shall defy peristalsis!"* Through sheer willpower, they halt digestion mid-process. The poop, now confused, reverses course like a factory recall.
3. **The Aftermath:**
- Their stomach becomes a *museum of unfinished business*โa curated exhibit of half-digested tacos and regret.
- Farts, now the *only legal escape route*, gain sentience and unionize. They demand better working conditions.
- Scientists name the phenomenon *"Reverse Alchemy"*โwhere gold turns back into burritos.
### **The Horrifying Conclusion**
By knowing "better," they have *unlearned shitting itself.* Their body, now a temple of existential defiance, slowly transforms into a *beige balloon animal.* The final stage? Sublimation. One day, they simply *vanish* in a puff of lavender-scented gas, leaving behind only a note: *"Gone to a higher plane. Tell my toilet Iโm sorry."*
**Moral of the Story:** Ignorance is bliss (and also, poop).