WTF?

>>507588101 (OP)
It's to protect his battle boner.

Its a codpiece big dog

>>507588101 (OP)
That's where you hang the severed heads of your enemies, to give them the ultimate teabag.

>>507588184
>back in the day men had so much testosterone they had raging boners all day

>>507588101 (OP)
You wouldn't have a boner when killing other men? Are you gay?

>>507588101 (OP)
>SURRENDER OR ELSE

>when you kill you enemy you earn +0.01 inches

That's Henry VIII's armour, not II.

>Dolor ignio animus
Probably... lol

MUH DICK

horse riding hurt his balls
kwab

>>507589321
>ass exposed
Imagine the miles nigger dick he took

>>507588101 (OP)
Medieval drip

>>507588101 (OP)
I imagine the Chinese didn't have these. It's ok bro. Interestingly this suit was also studied by NASA for how to make better spacesuits

>>507588101 (OP)
Armor was incredibly expensive and a big deal, so using it as a medium to shitpost at your enemy was a big flex.

>>507588101 (OP)
It's called a codpiece anon

>>507588489
No, only when they started to see and smell the blood of combat, and to hear the effeminate, pleading cries of the vanquished. God, I'm getting hard just typing this out.

>>507590654
>Imagine the miles nigger dick he took
Severe brain rot. Seek help.

>>507589321
why do men not dress like this anymore? goes hard

>>507590654
Armor is only needed on your back if you're a coward.

>>507590654
Mutt's law

>>507591057
this but unironically

>>507590790
look at all those engravings, i wonder how long it took the artisan(s) to get all that done?

>>507589321
I notice the ass is not guarded at all here. Must be for easy penetration.

>>507588489
Back then, men voluntarily joined war campaigns for the promise of loot and free pussy.

>>507588101 (OP)
>Men design fashion for the attention of men
>Codpieces, bright colours, cool patterns

>Men design fashion for the attention of women
>Boring outfits (suits, jeans, t-shirts) with bland colours (dark blue, grey, black) and either a bland pattern or a brand name

>>507591819
>Running away so someone can stab you in the ass
Saves weight and if you get stabbed in the ass you deserve to die for being a coward

>>507588101 (OP)
combat boner, its happens when you get adrenaline and testosterone in high doses.

>>507588101 (OP)
Chad. When your on the floor daying on the battlefield, and French, that's the last thing you see befor meeting your maker.

assuming that his penis fit in the cup, what inches would it be?

>>507589321
wearing this on my trip to london

>>507590790

>>507590790
I'm not gay,
but...

>>507595567
Futureproofing himself against the Germans with the plate skirts, I see. Divine foresight.

>>507590654
>>507591819
When was wearing this armor he was riding on a horse you fucking retards.

>>507595567
>I need to ride my horse and still look cool
>I realized my balls were too exposed
>I need to cover my balls more
>I need shiny to distract from my balls
>I got fat but my balls are huge
>I no longer need to fight but my balls must still be well protected.

The last thing a peasant man at arms sees after getting fucked by a knight's sword

>>507588101 (OP)
Humans its monkey first. Monkey behavior is inherent in us by nature. Don't romanticize about people of old times.

>>507588101 (OP)
Royal balls give royal offspring. You don't joke with that

>>507592319
kek

>>507592097
Yep even in the 1700s Isaac Newton wrote about how he was buying gold bars from sailors who pillaged them when he was working at the mint. Even he said these guys basically were set for life coming back rich as fuck from battles

>>507589321
No armor on the ass because Kings would always be mounted on a horse, DUH.

>>507595567
Last one is just saying "kick me in the balls"

>>507588101 (OP)
Based
He laid down the iron cock on peasants

>>507588101 (OP)
imagine that thing getting smacked with a sword or mace
>doioioioioioioioioioioioioing

>>507588489
>And finally all was left was Uncle Terry standing in the mud and the blood and the glory.
>And he touched his pants and there was a, it was wet and he said he was ashamed.
>He felt shame, Uncle Terry, for he'd pissed himself.
>Well, he touched it again.
>It was not urine at all, but ejaculate.

>>507588101 (OP)
Cod piece.
You want your penis getting chopped off in battle?!

Also, stop VPNing from China.
It's not working.

>>507595921
>riding on a horse
so his ass was already penetrated?

>>507588184
fpbp

>>507588101 (OP)
>What slaughtering French faggots does to an Englishman.

>>507597237
noble cock, noble death

>>507588101 (OP)
If the knob gets struck in battle, it works like a lever to push the buttplug deeper into his anus.

>>507588101 (OP)
You don't expect the king to rape wenches unprotected.

>>507588184
this
sometimes you get a little excited and need the extra space so you can stay comfy

>>507598182
damn I was born at the wrong time

>>507592097
WWI changed that when we added industrialization into the mix and turned war into a death factory.

>>507588184
Based

>>507589321
>>507598198
MOUNTED

>>507589321
That's a computer model dipshit.

>>507588446
Underrated

>>507588101 (OP)
Curved. Swords.

>>507592557
Its actually the opposite, you get battle shrinkage.Shows how many of you have ever seen battle.

>>507588101 (OP)
it's so you can hang your lunchbox

>>507601563

>>507590790
How can I steal this look? Asking for a friend

>>507588101 (OP)
What? It’s a BWC pouch

>>507588489
You hit the wall as a man when you don’t have a passive half chub for a lot of the day. I don’t have boners 24/7 like a teen anymore but in my late 20’s I still get several a day, I just do my best to not get them in public like when I’m shopping

>>507588490
>killing
Who said anything about that?
>boner shield
Looks like they were on a beano to the seaside

>>507601563
Kek