Anonymous
ID: lchwddiV
6/20/2025, 10:34:32 AM No.508072371
’m an Algerian man living in the forgotten armpit of California, somewhere between a cow field and a vape shop. Let’s call it Modesto. I survive on disability checks, which I like to think are funded directly by bald eagles crying into a federal keyboard. Every month Uncle Sam hands me money and I immediately turn around and donate it to white guys on Doordash. Full circle economy. God bless.
Tyler shows up in a dented Corolla with my Panda Express. I tip him twenty bucks on a twelve dollar order like I’m Jeff Bezos but sadder and with more cumin in my DNA. He says “thank you man” like he means it and I nod like I didn’t just spend 1/8th of my rent on orange chicken and validation.
This is how I give back to America. One oversized tip at a time. Like some weird benevolent foreign uncle who wandered into a broken economy and decided to just roll with it.
I talk to myself a lot. Out loud. In the backyard. Shirtless. I yell things like “Capitalism is a vibe” or “Who needs purpose when you have curly fries.” The neighbors stopped making eye contact months ago. One time I waved at a possum and it flinched like it owed me money.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m the glitch in the system or the whole damn purpose. Maybe I’m performance art. Maybe I’m just tired.
One day I’ll run for city council. Not to win. Just to get my name on a sign.
Tyler shows up in a dented Corolla with my Panda Express. I tip him twenty bucks on a twelve dollar order like I’m Jeff Bezos but sadder and with more cumin in my DNA. He says “thank you man” like he means it and I nod like I didn’t just spend 1/8th of my rent on orange chicken and validation.
This is how I give back to America. One oversized tip at a time. Like some weird benevolent foreign uncle who wandered into a broken economy and decided to just roll with it.
I talk to myself a lot. Out loud. In the backyard. Shirtless. I yell things like “Capitalism is a vibe” or “Who needs purpose when you have curly fries.” The neighbors stopped making eye contact months ago. One time I waved at a possum and it flinched like it owed me money.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m the glitch in the system or the whole damn purpose. Maybe I’m performance art. Maybe I’m just tired.
One day I’ll run for city council. Not to win. Just to get my name on a sign.
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