>>508178342I talk about this with my gf kind of frequently because I was born and given a Hebrew name, circumcised on the 8th day, and even Bar Mitzvah'd, but my mom remained a Christian and this means I'm not a Jew. They apparently call us "Seeds of Israel" when it's just the father.
As for the reason I discussed it with my gf, I was deliberating on the practical reason and the answer is that it's rape-baby cope from when they were being conquered and raped across history. You don't know who the father is when that happens so they made it about the mother instead.
There are other inconsistencies that bother me about rabbinical Judaism such as the lack of a blue thread in the fringes because, as I was told, they lack the correct specific blue they need.
There is a sect of Jews out there that is still patrilineal and they also are Mosaic in nature, they don't rely on the Oral Torah but instead the Torah as it is written. They also have the blue thread. Basically they're the real Israelites. So are the Ethiopians of Beta Israel, I believe they are true Israelite as well. They kept the culture preserved in isolation for a super long time.
As for your hopes, my answer is that I fall short in following the Torah perfectly but won't call the talmud my holy book because Deut 4:2 was very clear. Jews and Christians should be united. In the era of Jesus, the Pharisees were only one sect but they are the ones who have overall prevailed. The Sadducees are the ones who held very tight interpretation of the law as it was written in the era. They faded away without the Temple.
Jewish history is a cycle of growth and defeat. Deuteronomy has all of the answers. It's actually terrifying when you read what the Israelites agreed to.
Peace be with you, brother. Do not let the Erev Rav trick you into cursing the Israelites or anything else that God would punish you for per the terms of the agreements in Deuteronomy. It is part of the enemy's trap to ensnare people like you.