50k sign on bonus today
What are you waiting for anon?

>>508251541 (OP)
>50k sign on bonus
>average house in a mostly black city costs 450k

Grim.

>>508251541 (OP)
White Republicans only please
Star of David tattoos shall be provided

>>508251541 (OP)
I used to be that guy. No job, no clue, just stuck doomscrolling and wondering why nothing was working out. Life felt like a co-op game where I forgot to pick up a second controller. Then I tripped over something kind of wild the army's got this #QuickShip thing where you can pull in $40k just for signing and showing up. Not even joking.


I'm not trying to LARP as a drill sergeant or something. I'm just saying: if you're sitting around wondering how the hell to get ahead, this is one of those options that somehow exists but no one talks about unless your uncle brings it up at Thanksgiving. Except now they're throwing real money at people who are willing to step up.


I know what you're probably thinking. Military=war, scary stuff, not for me. I thought the same. Full-blown tech nerd over here, never touched a weight, social skills at 15%, maxed out in sarcasm and caffeine dependency. But the truth? Most recruits never see combat. You're more likely to end up learning stuff, getting in shape, and figuring your life out than you are running into anything risky.

It's more "life reboot" than battlefield. You build structure, get confidence, and yeah people actually treat you with more respect. You stop feeling like a background NPC energy and start showing up like a main character.


And the kicker? After your time's up, you've got $40k+, free education, benefits, the works. Start a business, buy a house, whatever. It's like real-life NG+ with unlockable perks that don't expire.


Not saying it's for everyone, but if you're even a little tired of sitting on the bench while life keeps loading might be worth looking at. No hype, no pressure, just putting it out there like someone should've done for me.

If you're curious, there's a site I found that breaks down how #QuickShip and bonuses work. Look it up, do your own digging. Just maybe don't dismiss it like I almost did.

>>508251541 (OP)
5x5 rule
5 acres, 5 bedroom house, 5 cars, 5 children, 5 businesses.
Otherwise i'm not dying for Israel.

get fucked.

>>508252289
>this is one of those options that somehow exists

It's "up to 50k". They'll find ways to cut that down or take it away with technicalities.

>>508251541 (OP)
>50k sign on bonus today
Make it 1 million and no taxes deducted from it, and we can talk.

PLUS we want to have

1. - War trophies and booty, anything we can box up and mail back to the USA is ours to keep, tax free, no restrictions.

2. We get to capture at least 5 women over age of 10 to keep and mail back to USA to be our slaves.

>>508253643
Already down to 40 >>508253668

>>508251541 (OP)
serious question can i sign up and get the bonus then just bounce to thailand? how would they get me?

>>508251541 (OP)
Over 4-6 years and after taxes that's like 3-4k a year. This is how they get retards ti join, they don't do the math. 18 year old kids think that's a lot of money and don't realize the government taxes it right back out of your account, and it's for a 4 or 6 year contract. Absolutely fucking stupid, might as well buy me a Costco hot dog.

>>508254323
Check if it's paid out over time. You'd have to get a visa for Thailand and overstay it and live there illegally, unless there's easy citizenship there. They're likely to check for felonies in your previous country, and going AWOL is a serious felony. Something many countries may extradite for. You could end up in federal prison. This isn't like taking out a loan and bouncing, that would be much smarter and have less possible serious consequences.

You're changing your whole life for like a year of Walmart pay with some overtime btw. Some of you must be really poor.

>>508255208
Whoops, we didn't mean to sign that legally-binding contract that awarded your bonus! We'll be taking that all back now
>enjoy your sudden 40K debt and bad credit Goy

>>508251541 (OP)
I'm NAN, not a nigger.

>>508254323
bonuses are only paid at x or y time.
Usually during AIT or first duty station.

>>508251541 (OP)
Can you buy a decent coffin for 50k?

>>508255743
It doesn't work like that. If you're in a position in which they start paying out your bonus and you flee to Thailand, that's called "going AWOL" and, yes, the reach of the Jewish tentacles extends into Thailand. And as I pointed out in >>508255811 they'll claw back your bonus anyway, even if you decide to stay in for your full term of service.

>>508252289
I'm 49 and Canadian can I join up as a foreigner?
IS there an American foreign legion?

>>508251541 (OP)
This is an undeclared act of war! First by Israel and now by the US! Iran has powerful allies in Russia and China, and they're not going to sit still for this and there will be truckloads of unforeseen consequences as usual! Don't volunteer for anything so godsdamned fucking stupid ~ make Them come and get you! Trump first isolated the US, and "we" have no allies left. Now he has just made a significant mistake that will negatively impact everyone. BTW; When does this puling imbecile pick up his Peace Prize?

>>508251541 (OP)
The US army looks like a migrant caravan in military uniform these days.

>>508252289
damn bro 40K?

POOOOOOOOOGG I can buy so many crocket and jones boots and zyn stacks with that