Thread 508842369

lifehack to save you from draft

>>508842369 (OP)
That's a good life hack.

>>508842369 (OP)
Are Russians being kidnapped just like Ukrainians? Snatched from the street?

>>508842659
Slaves fighting slaves.

>>508842659
pretty sure thats hoholistan

>>508842690
Which ones are hohol? Russians or Ukrainians?

>>508842659
no

>>508842659
no, a lot of advertising and social benefits/money for people who sign up.

>>508842369 (OP)
press gangs fear the self defense suicide vest

>>508842369 (OP)
brave and stunning

>>508842674
all its been

>>508842369 (OP)
Lmao based

>>508843686
If only we could all be helicopter pilots

>>508842659
Russia is such a depressing shithole that they rather commit suicide by war

Smart

>>508842369 (OP)
>ah ta ta ta ta ta let's not blow, this out of proportion
>You think you can dab on us and just walk away?
>Yeah.

>>508842369 (OP)
Just bring back warbride taking and you will have no issues with conscription

>>508842659
They offer decent payment to attract recruits.
Although with prices going up up up it's not as good now as it once was.

>>508842369 (OP)
1) Intentionally fail the basic IQ test and psych test. Don't forget to answer YES any time you get asked about suicide. Say YES. And tell the shrink that "i don't think they understand what they're doing trying to recruit me".
2) Repeatedly discharge your rifle on the firing ranged into the air.
True story. This will get you immeidelty disqualified as a candidate. And because of how many times you said you are okay with suicide (in the psych test),
3) Refuse every vaccine. This goes without saying.
4) They send you home. They can't even legally give you a pen and paper to fight in their war. Not even to record details as a media/psyop role.

War is made my secret societies, and the people who fall for it; God rest their souls.

>>508842659
They don't need to
Possible isolated cases of press ganging but nothing systemic like in Ukraine, they guy is toting around an F-1 for a pretty good reason.

>>508850241
BASED anti-war enjoyer

>>508849334
>that "swayze" smile

>>508842369 (OP)
the emotional support grenade

>>508850241
Try this next time a cop pulls you over. Of course you need to keep a Ziploc bag of your feces handy.

Then smear yourself (face and hands) with your poop. When the policeman comes to your window, hand over your ID with shit covered hands. And smile.

>>508851074
pretty sure the cops would simply call the EMTs and have you go through some kind of psych eval

OP is a faggot, that conveniently avoided the fact that this is a video from Kharkov.

>>508851259
You're all slavs, what's even the difference anywayse

>>508850241
In USA you don't need to shit yourself to avoid the draft.
Simply say the recruiter you're a white supremacist and they will mark you as psychologically incompatible with the army. They don't give military training to anyone whi opposes ZOG.

>>508850850
>>508850241
This might work in a Vietnam tier draft, but in Ukraine they're far more desperate and these tricks wouldn't work. They'll drag you to a training facility that almost resembles a prison and beat you until you stop playing those tricks. There are rumors of guys in Ukraine dying from the beatings before they even get close to the front. And you won't get a rifle unsupervised until you're actually at the front.

That said I doubt we'd get close to that severity even with boots on the ground in Iran. Russia still doesn't have a formal draft and its population is half that of the US. You'd see increased economic precarity for young men to push them to the military and the judicial system would be incentivized to prosecute young men and threaten them with lengthy prison sentences even for minor offenses, unless of course they volunteer.

>>508850497
God, is nowhere safe from the NUMBER GO UP FOREVA GDP boomer faggotry?

>>508852671
This, I refuse to believe anons are this fucking stupid and naiive to think they can just go "NU-UH!!" and avoid the absolute miserable hell of trench warfare with a couple stupid gimicks. They'll just beat you until you comply, or maybe just beat you to death. You don't even have to get up, they'll just dump you onto the front, and anons can peepeepoopoo while being useful absorbing enemy artillery salvos. Or they'll just tie you to an MRAP as a quick meat plating, like the jews were doing with pali captives.

If you can sit still and drool, you can waste a few rounds in an enemy's mag.

>>508846926
Fuck that, helicopters are death traps in modern warfare

>>508842659
no, but they do have a mandatory 12 month conscription.
they aren't meant to be sent to the front like but there was a time ukraine broke through and it sent russia into a panic because their precious young conscripts got captured.

>>508851074
This happens all the time in prisons, they just CS gas, pepper ball, or taze him before using an animal catcher on him.

Probably a good 1way ticket to the penal battalions

>>508842659
They don't need to. The majority of zigs are too dumb to question the unrealistic offers or even look at what the families of injured and fallen soldiers actually got for their service. MoD was promising 3million rubles but most got no more than 100000. Now they're cremating dead ziggers and writing them off as deserters so the families get nothing.

>>508842369 (OP)
might work over there
here theyll just call in 5 helicopters to track you then theyll pull every single surplus military vehicle out and bulldoze your house with you in it.

>>508850241
>posts an actual 15 year old meme
Nigger, you are severely out of date. They'll take anyone now. Retards, trannies, felons, fatties..etc.

The only actual way to avoid the draft is to be crippled or have a record of mental health issues. I dont just mean having ADHD either. I mean being put on a 72 hour hold, involuntarily committed, or on psych meds.

>>508853290
Also have any of you guys seen Edge of Tomorrow? That movie does a good job portraying the smug attitude of /pol/fags thinking they can grease their way out of the frontlines with words kek

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynjOUts1aKo&ab_channel=tinyraptor

>>508842369 (OP)
Clickbait. If pressgangers were actually on that train they'd just grab the hand around the grenade while covering the pin, then bludgeon the guy unconscious.

>>508852912
Anon, if I truly believed my life was in danger from their antics I'd dome an officer the moment I was handed a loaded weapon.

Don't make me click harder, this one has Cherry MX Green switches!

>>508851670
that's sad, man

>>508853962
There were a couple of videos where that author of vids bullied him.
And then allegedly he got killed or died.

>>508842369 (OP)
just pretend that you're gay
they don't take gays into the russian army

>>508853671
> if I truly believed my life was in danger I'd commit suicide
Makes sense.

>>508854086
What a shame.

>>508851670
Jesus Christ I feel sorry for the guy. Ukraine is retarded

>>508850497
>They offer decent payment to attract recruits

>>508853487
Military training teaches you how to destroy literally everything in that image poster.
Your assuming all military and ex will be
onboard with an unconstitutional war.

>>508854466
>Your assuming all military and ex will be
>onboard with an unconstitutional war.

>>508842659
Yes. The only enemy in a modern war are the draft officers.

>>508842929
historically speaking both, since they're the same peoole, but pol uses it for ukranian

>>508851670
Remember it was draft officers that took this poor man into that trench

>>508851074
I got pulled over for speeding once and got out of it for telling the cop I had to shit

>>508853589
movies aren't reality you jeet retard
never base anything off of some stupid shit you saw on tv or in a movie none of it is real by fucking definition

>>508853481
They seemingly fail to grasp that Russia is bound to go through hyperinflation sooner or later, so even if they are given their promised money it will become worthless before long.

>>508855449
Yeah and when draft officers are tossing literal retards into the meat grinder you'd be foolish to go peacefully just because that's the "legal" thing to do

>>508855730
all i said was don't base reality off a fucking movie you stupid faggot, there's nothing else to infer here, if you take away anything more from that statement you're unironically arguing with shit you made up in your own head

>>508853511
I doubt it. I had a traumatic bathroom experience as a kid and have been unable to piss around other people since. I have literally 0 control over this and it makes going out a complete pain, unless they want to supply me with catheters every day I will be sneaking off to piss as I cannot otherwise.

>>508854430
Wow, stale jewish memes in *my* 4chan?
Thanks, Ramirez!

>>508853671
>the moment I was handed a loaded weapon
That moment doesn't happen until you're in the actual trench.
Also, pro tip: rifles are almost entirely useless in modern war. You probably won't even ever touch one.

>>508842659
Russia has an entire rural wasteland of slaves to pull from

>>508855996
Boy, fedniggers sure are mad when you point out that the enemy isn't the Russians or Ukrainians or the Chinese but the people actually physically dragging young men to the front lines to die.

Golly gee willickers NIGGER, why is that?

>>508857066
His meme is true, but your meme is also true

>>508842369 (OP)
i don't get it, can't you just close the window, or if others complain sit in some other place?

>>508854430
based cheetos enjoyers

>>508842369 (OP)
Great deterrent to make zogbots fuck off. Cop tries to arrest you and you just take out a grenade and stand there. Zogbot just wants paycheck and to go home.

>>508851670
Thats the most jewish thing i have ever seen. They sent a autistic guy into a trench and gave him a stick to carry as a gun. I really do hate zog bros.

>>508851259
Lol that's like an indian getting mad when a pakistan guy gets run over by a train.

>>508850241
>go into the draft office and say you want to join because you want to kill people
>get sent to a psych ward for a week and be permanently barred from service
>go on vacation to USA with B2 visa
>marry a fat 57 year old widow and file I-130 for green card
>wait five years until naturalization eligibility to get divorced
This is how you do it.

>>508859912
>autistic
anon…

>>508849334
I'd seriously lol if a bunch of Zelensky's thugs grab some guy just for him to pull the dead man cord on a claymore. 100% kill rate.

>>508855023
this

also white on white war is GAY AS FUCK

>>508855449
>movies aren't reality
Incredibly insightful contribution anon. I have no idea if this sounded like a "gotcha!" In your head m, but you're just a stupid faggot

>>508842369 (OP)
What is it with people with chink eyes who cannot see that this is a vape and a plastic mouthpiece?
Have you retards ever even held a grenade in your hand?

>>508850241
Based peepeepoopooer

>>508851670
they said that Boxa is dead now

>>508860868
>GAY
*jewish

>the russian nail

It's called that in poland when your nails are fucking dirty

>>508853487
>standing army marches down residential street aiming weapons at people in their homes
>enters people's homes to root out a suspect
That whole event was fucked

>>508853487
>>508863518
When was this?

>>508852765
The military needs bodies to feed the meat grinder, but arms related industries also need workers so the war machine is competing with itself. When people say war is good for the economy, this is what they're talking about. Political pressure loosens the purse strings just a little and a small amount trickles down to ordinary people. Eventually the tax man will claw it all back to pay whoever they borrowed from in the first place, but for a moment things are better.

>>508863848
>can't into Jade Helm
lurk moar

What happened to all the posturing that tuffguy anons will be scalping recruiters in the streets?

>>508863880
Funny how people forget this but then cry BUT DRUMPF

>>508842369 (OP)
more like a deathhack

>>508863848
Boston Marathon Bombing. This was during Barrack "AR-15's are weapons of war that don't belong on our streets" Obama's term.

>>508859912
>autistic
lmao

>>508853589
Lmao guys this jewish propaganda film made me think it’s like this so it must be true. I’d call you a midwit, but you are something far below a midwit. Mong fits.

>>508853487
If even 10% of draftees resisted, they wouldn’t even have a fraction of the manpower and equipment required for anything like what you suggest.

>>508852912
Retard. You “just accept it goy, you have no choice but to die for israel” shills are embarrassing yourself. A draft will never work, everyone is checked out. Shouldn’t have pushed the niggers and trannies on us and disenfranchised whites so hard. Shouldn’t have tried to forcefeed everyone a toxic “vaccine”. Now when you meed us young able bodied competent men, we will be more likely to join the enemy and regime change your masters than we would to fight one single day for you. This psyop is dead in the water.

>>508864460
Shill brigage faggot. We see you nigger.

>>508850241
Based Beyond Belief

>>508859912
It makes perfect sense when you understand the goal of it is to cleanse the native populations to replace with kikes and infinite jeet slaves

>>508854142
Your mom and your country are retarded

>>508868355
>+0.5 shekelcredits has been added to your Palantir profile

>>508850241
KKKKKKKEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK

>>508851670
when shit gets real