>>509158384 (OP)My will has been exhausted. The lockdowns (2020) combined with discovering /pol/ as well as other alternative outlets and learning the truth has crippled me.
Always was an outcast but when I finished high school and went down the self-improvement road I had a plan and hope for the future. I spent 2 days in college before the lockdowns began and both men and women swarmed to me.
Weight loss, strenuous exercise, grunt jobs, martial arts, cold showers and austerity beyond normal, all self-imposed for years combined with surrogate and academic education on all practical subjects was my path to becoming what can only be referred to as Nietzsche's Overman.
But my will has been exhausted. The veil has been lifted. Reached the conclusion that I am a tax-cattle serf in prison nation where everything human and masculine is either illegal or prohibitely expensive. I can't hunt, I can't own firearms, I can't drive a motorcycle at full speed. Can't be a man. My only options are to drink, smoke, do drugs and gamble. If you keep up on global events you can see everything and everyone has gradually become gayer and more retarded and insane. Consequently I have become more alienated and ostracized.
I'm fine with being alone. Fine with nobody remembering or caring about any important conversation. I'm fine with life being cruel and unfair. I'm fine with at 24 never having had a social circle, a woman, real friendship, or any other milestone. I said it'd get better. It's fine. Life doesn't guarantee "Happiness".
