>>509806253 (OP)>>5098096035/6
Express Your Feelings Using "I" Statements: "When you threw away the food I made and called me useless, I felt deeply hurt, disrespected, and humiliated. It made me feel worthless."
State Your Needs: "I need you to express disappointment respectfully, without insults or destruction. I need to feel safe and respected in our relationship."
Regarding the burrito & communication (later, if relevant):
He's Wrong About Strawberries: He's correct that acidity can be subtle, but adding fruit to savory dishes is common (e.g., mango salsa). His preference is valid; his delivery was abusive.
Constructive Feedback vs. Abuse: Healthy communication sounds like: "Honey, thanks for making dinner. Honestly, the strawberries didn't work for me in the burrito – the texture/flavor threw me off. Maybe next time we could try [suggestion] or keep them on the side?" This focuses on the food, not your worth.
Serious Considerations:
Pattern of Behavior? Is this a one-time outburst during extreme stress, or part of a pattern of disrespect, criticism, or verbal abuse? Patterns require serious intervention.
Your Safety & Well-being: His behavior was verbally abusive. Your mental health declining is a major red flag. Abuse often escalates.
Seek Professional Help:
For You: Please consider talking to a therapist immediately. They can help you process this trauma, rebuild self-esteem, and develop coping strategies. This is vital for your mental health.
For the Relationship (ONLY if safe and he takes responsibility): If this is a pattern, couples counseling is necessary only if he fully acknowledges his abusive behavior, shows genuine remorse, and commits to change. Do not attend counseling with an abuser unless a specialist deems it safe. His behavior is the problem that needs addressing, potentially through individual therapy for him focused on anger management and respect.
What NOT to do:
