my sexuality, too, is a performance, a survival mechanism, a shifting identity that bends with the wind, because being homosexual can be a declaration of pride in one city and a death sentence in another, so i become whatever is safest, most strategic, most convenient in the moment, and if that makes me a liar, then let the world be filled with liars, because i am only trying to survive in a place that demands authenticity but offers no security for it — i am communist when i have nothing, capitalist when i have just enough, leninist when i want to organize, fascist when i crave order, and anarchist when i want to scream, because ideology is not a compass for me, it is a cloak, a disguise, a tool, a weapon, whatever i need it to be when i need it most — and so i live in contradiction, thrive in paradox, and wear identity like a mask that changes with the light, because in a world that wants you to choose a side and stay on it, the only sane thing to do is refuse, to shift, to adapt, to survive, and to keep moving, always moving, before anyone can pin you down and make you something you never wanted to be.