What is traveling throughout airports like? Is it really as shitty as media makes it out to be? Obviously post 9/11 made flying more of a chore than anything. Small seats with no leg room unless you shell out a few extra hundred. I'm a 30 year old man who has never traveled by commercial airplane. What am i missing out on?

>>511294739 (OP)
Sure, I'll give you the experience.
>get dropped off at the airport
>if you have baggage you need to check, do that first
That's all pretty standard and painless, now here's the step that everyone recommends you arrive two hours early for:
>security
>fuck huge long line
>at the end of the long line is a bored TSA agent who glances at your ID, scans it, then directs you to the next long line
>now it's time to empty your pockets of everything and put it into plastic trays
>the rules for what goes in the trays and what can sit on the belt changes every few months and from airport to airport
You're also stuck behind a bunch of dumbfucks and foreigners who need to be told a dozen times what to do because they weren't listening the last dozen times it was said
>take your shoes off, goy
>assume the position in the scanner, goy
>okay you're good to go
Now it's time to put your shoes back on, repack your bag, and look to make sure that nothing fell off the belt or got "mistakenly" picked up by someone else, because TSA sure as fuck doesn't care if you got all your stuff or not.
Once you're through security, you have three options for ways to pass the time while you wait for your flight:
>sit at your gate and play on your phone
>eat insanely overpriced airport food
>drink insanely overpriced airport liquor
I usually choose to drink because the experience is much worse sober.
Now it's time to board the plane. First is our premium exclusive sky high club members, next is the exclusive premium world adventure club members, next will be our VIP ultra platinum club members, etc. You're all going to be huffing each other's farts in a pressurized tube, but at least you'll have a little extra leg room while it happens.
Oh by the way, we ran out of overhead storage so we'll need volunteers to check their carry-on luggage and if there's not enough volunteers, we'll require you to do it.
1/2

Imagine a shopping mall, except it's got tons of bus stops all around the parking lot, and the buses that stop there are huge and make a lot of noise, but also you gotta strip half-naked just to get into this shopping mall so you can get to your bus stop. In addition, once you're inside you'll hear a bunch of different languages (from Urdu and Hokkien to Serbian). spoken by masses of people who haven't been able to take a proper shower or get a good night's rest in more than 2 days.
Plus you can't take anything sharper than a safety razor blade or any liquids that are not tightly sealed and approved by mall sec in your personal baggage.
That's basically what airports are.

>>511296407
>take your shoes off, goy
I've noticed in many places in Europe you gotta take out your laptop, tablet, lotions/perfumes, in addition to taking off your shoes, jacket, belt, and taking out your cellphone, wallet, keys, and just about every single item you might have in your pockets.

>>511296407
>walk through the cramped aisles
>get to your cramped seat
>wait forever for everyone else to get on board
>wait forever for the plane to taxi
>sit in the steel tube
>use the tiny bathroom
>babies screaming
>leaning your seat back does nothing except piss off the person behind you
>here's your complimentary in-flight pretzels and soda
>wait forever for the plane to land
>wait forever for the plane to taxi to the gate
>wait forever for the people in front of you to grab their baggage and get off the plane
>it takes even longer because they wait to grab their baggage until everyone else has left
Congrats, now all you have to do is go to the baggage terminal, grab your checked baggage and try to forget the experience. I highly recommend being as drunk as possible and staying that way until you've exited the airport.

>>511296709
>no old Chinese women shouting at their husbands in their regional dialect of Chinese
>no Middle Eastern men with their harem and offspring taking up an entire row of seats
>no loud and fat Mexicans taking snacks out all throughout the flight
>no female solo travellers reading erotica while pretending they're not just filthy gooners
M8, do you evn go on long range flights?

>>511294739 (OP)
It's a chore. Something in me tells me it wasn't this bad before 9/11. There's a lot of pointless and retarded restrictions to make your stay as uncomfortable as possible. I don't like that I have to arrive hours early to the flight, usually at 5am so I am basically a half-sick zombie awake on coffee.

I groggily go to bag check in, answer a load of obligatory boring questions or get told my bag is too big/too small or whatever goldilocks bollucks they decided when making up the rules of flight; after that it's security.

Security is a long queue of people scanning a code on your phone or a printed out ticket. I always bring a printed out ticket because you don't know if the machines are working in an airport (talk about excessive).

Once you get to security, you have to remove your shoes, anything metallic and empty pockets so they can frisk you, or sometimes they don't even do that here in the UK, it all gets put in a tray to be scanned then given back to you; make sure you REMEMBER to pick your shit back up, I have twice walked away barefoot thinking my shoes will follow me, then had to march back and explain the shit in the abandoned tray is mine.

Go find a pub/restaurant and eat a meal, it might be the last good meal you get because perhaps you won the flight lottery and get a plane hijacker (you won't), or wherever you're flying has shit food but the airports are generously stocked with good shit; it might be an idea to get drunk before heading onto the gate to deal with the last bit of stress which is hearing out for what gate your plane is on.

Get on the plane and kick the child out of your seat so you can enjoy the clouds whilst flying. When you get over there, last step is to get through another security to stamp your passport and then you gather bags and enjoy yourself - you have arrived at 7am tired/drunk as shit and can celebrate the holiday or more travel.

>>511296917
Sorry. Like I said, I try to be as drunk as possible while still being able to function during this whole procedure so I appreciate you filling in the stuff I missed.

>>511296407
>we'll need volunteers to check their carry-on luggage and if there's not enough volunteers, we'll require you to do it.
beast games type stuff

>>511294739 (OP)
It was cool when you were a kid. You ain't missing out on much. I would rather drive across the country than fly in a plane in the 2020s.

>>511294739 (OP)

>>511296709
>>511296407
That does sound like a miserable experience. Farthest i've traveled so far was 19 hours by distance bus, almost to the other side of the continent. Would have taken like 5 hours by plane probably, which would've been ultra-stressful in comparison.

All you do is walk up to the guy once the bus parks, he checks you in and you're good to go, if you're not carrying a piece of luggage with you they let you take your stuff inside as well. It's pretty comfy actually, i've done it a couple times now with different lines/operators of varying quality. Just don't forget to wear support stockings, your circulation will thank you for it

But yeah, thanks for confirming getting on a plane yourself isn't really worth it, not even for pussy

>>511294739 (OP)
Really depends on the airport. Some are nice, have comfortable seating, and cool shops and restaurants. Others are cramped and terrible and lack amenities. Overall I don't think it's that bad, as long as you can handle waiting. There's a lot of waiting. I never had any problems with security except the occasional long line.

Flying is hit or miss too, if you get stuck in a middle seat you're gonna have a bad time. Aisle and window seats are okay. Sometimes on smaller flights you might get lucky and get a row to yourself which is pretty chill. Long flights are another test of patience.

Idk, I can see why people don't like it, but I fly a couple times a year and don't really mind it. But I'm a patient person. I think you really do need a good amount of patience. I have no problem putting on music and getting lost in my thoughts for a few hours and ignoring the world. If you can't do that, it might be miserable for you.