>>512096164 (OP)
Dude just do anything.
Clean your room. Exercise. Learn something.
You you will stop thinking these things, at least for a bit, because you are concentrating on that. Than you will be a bit less self-hating because you actually did something. Repeat.
I didn't go to the gym. I didn't even leave my room. I just picked up something that weighed 5 pounds, one in each hand. Did enough reps of squats to get
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_onset_muscle_soreness
And now I'm too focused on recovering for the next session for any of that shit.