Why Have You Not Moved to Florida Already
just shut up and go there already, even just for a vacation, its everything you want. Get laid, chill out, think over your life and get new perspective
Anonymous
(ID: ToADRHTI)
8/5/2025, 4:01:25 PM
No.512289596
>>512289171 (OP)
I worked as a C.O. for a bit in Florida.
>Warden: no, i don't care about the constitution or its rights
Same with the sheriff's office in that town. Plus, there's literal wombats like Shitwood. Lol
I like some of Florida's landscape, yeah, but I'm not going back to Brave Juden World, where the kikes run everything. Lol.
Anonymous
(ID: is4COLGO)
8/5/2025, 4:01:35 PM
No.512289603
Oh I see I should spend my peasant money
eat shit and die hurry up
Anonymous
(ID: 9wEtVkWB)
8/5/2025, 4:01:39 PM
No.512289607
You will never be Floridian. You have no tan, you have no accent, you have no heat tolerance. You are a transplant carpetbagger twisted by realtors and condo owners into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.
All the “welcomes” you get are two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your neighbors are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your salt life stickers behind closed doors.
Gators are naturally drawn to devouring you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed reptiles to sniff out clueless yankees with incredible efficiency. Even yankees who “swim” look delicious and like easy prey to a gator. Your lack of swamp knowledge is a dead giveaway. Even if you manage to get a neighbor to accept you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a look at your out of state license plate on your lifted truck.
You will never be a local. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself you've been here long enough to fit in, but deep inside you feel the impostor syndrome creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a golf cart, sell your condo, pack up your shit, and move to the villages. Your descendants will cut off contact with you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth state, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a carpetbagger is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton buried in foreign soil where it doesn't belong.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
Anonymous
(ID: is4COLGO)
8/5/2025, 4:09:03 PM
No.512290018
Absolutely no fucking way, you fucks.
Anonymous
(ID: hmYXKE8n)
8/5/2025, 4:17:38 PM
No.512290621
Place is expensive and being run into the ground by DeSantis. I’ll stick the parks near my house
Anonymous
(ID: y2FukptB)
8/5/2025, 4:21:07 PM
No.512290842
>>512289171 (OP)
Get the fuck out of my state nigger. All you snowbird faggots made the rent go up. This state used to be hard now it’s just a bunch of California yuppies drinking expensive coffees.
