>>512398478 (OP)
Title:Destiny vs. Destiny Jr.: The Final Debate (2039 Edition)
[Scene: A modest suburban home in Florida. Destiny, now 61, is retired, sitting in a futuristic gaming chair with lumbar support designed for people who used to sit for 16 hours a day yelling at TikTokers. He's wearing a “Debate Me IRL” bathrobe, sipping lukewarm Onions.]
Narrator Voice:
In the year 2039, the streaming wars are over. Twitch is now just a subsidiary of Amazon Prime Day. Steven “Destiny” Bonnell II has long since retired from the blood-soaked battlefield of political debate… but peace never lasts forever.
Enter: Destiny Jr. (real name: Ronald Reagan Bonnell III), a 22-year-old right-wing giga-traditionalist with a literal sword strapped to his back.
Destiny Jr.(slamming down a copy ofBronze Age Mindseton the table):
"Father. The matriarchy has gone too far. We must restore the natural order."
Destiny(blinking slowly):
"Jesus, Ronnie. Not this again. You’re literally wearing chainmail in my kitchen. Why do you keep bringing up 'masculine sun-energy' every time I ask you to mow the lawn?"
Destiny Jr.:
"You used to fight for truth, logic, and Twitch Prime subs. Now you’re just a tool of the neo-liberal gerontocracy. You debated Vosch, but you won’t debateme?"
Destiny:
"Kid, I spent 20 years yelling at guys in Discord servers with anime avatars. I retired because I wanted peace. And because my blood pressure goes up every time someone says 'based.'"
Destiny Jr.:
"Cope, seethe, dilate, boomer."
Narrator:
And that was the final straw. The debate turned physical. A flurry of foam sword swings, ironically donated by stream chat in 2028 during the “Sword Arc.” Destiny, armed only with a dusty Logitech G502 mouse and a copy ofRules for Radicals, was no match.
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