Thread 512423498

Share your favorite racist jokes here. I’ll go first…what’s a black man’s soulmate?

The microwave because it’s the only thing that lights up when he gets close.

>>512423498 (OP)
Your joke was a fucking stinker.

Why do niggers always wear baseball caps? So birds don't shit on their lips.

>>512423498 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_YDmf4dEFI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbAAZx3om6E

>>512423498 (OP)
How do you castrate a hillbilly?

>>512423760
Good one

>>512423498 (OP)
It's not a racist joke but I remember a funny joke from high school. Here it goes:

If you put a baby in a microwave, how many turns will the baby make before it explodes?

I lost the count. I was too busy masturbating.

Q: why are black people so good at basketball?
A: because they're niggers

>>512423498 (OP)
A man goes in an antique store and finds a little brass statue of a rat. He takes it to the cashier and asks him how much for it. The cashier says "it's $20 for the little brass rat, but it's $200 for the story that goes with it." The man says he doesn't need the story, gives the cashier $20, sticks the little brass rat in his pocket, and leaves. As he's walking down the street he looks behind him and sees a live rat following him. After walking another block there are five rats following him, then ten, then twenty. He starts to try to run away from them, but the further he runs, the more rats that follow him. Soon there are thousands of rats chasing behind him, every rat in the city is following him. He realizes it must be because of the little brass rat in his pocket. He runs to the river and throws the little brass rat into the river. Sure enough, all the rats immediately chase after the little brass rat, run into the river and drown.

After seeing this the man is astonished, he turns and runs as fast as he can back to the antique store. He burst through the door, the cashier looks at him, laughs, and says "I guess you want to know the story behind the little brass rat?" The man still out of breath looks at the cashier and says "No...no...I want to know if you have any little brass niggers?"

>>512423498 (OP)
What do you say when you see your TV floating in the dark? “Drop it nigger!”

>>512423498 (OP)
where do you hide money from a jeet? Under a bar of soap.

>>512423498 (OP)
What word starts with N, ends with R, and no self respecting person would call a black man.

Neighbor

30 niggers on a bus what do the niggers call the driver?
>Officer
30 niggers on a bus what do the niggers call the driver?
>Coach
30 niggers on a bus what does the driver call the niggers?
>nigger

Q: What's a cocoon?


A: It's a n-nigger.

>>512424531
only funny joke in the whole thread kek

>>512423498 (OP)
What do you call three mexicans, a chinese, and two blacks standing in a row?
A sprinkler: "spic spic spic chink nigger nigger"

>>512423498 (OP)
Where is the best place to hide money in Montenegro?

Under a shovel

>>512423498 (OP)
There are three families living in a building. A white family, a mexican family and a black family. The building suddenly goes on fire. Which one of the families will survive?

The white family. Because the kids were at school and the parents were at work.

>>512426261
Ok this isn't a joke, it really happened, but it's funny.
>be 14 year old me
>first day at summer construction job
>building section 8 duplexes in the ghetto
>at the end of the day have to load all the tools in a trailer so niggers don't steal them
>I grab a shovel and put it in the trailer
>bossman tells me to take it out and put it back
>ask him "what if someone steals it?"
>everyone starts laughing
>bossman laughs and says "niggers don't steal shovels, you can't give a nigger a shovel"

I worked there for four summers. We left shovels at every job site. Not a single shovel was ever stolen.

A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, then he sees a Chinese man and punches him in the face.
"Owch!" the Chinese man says.
"What was that for?"
"That was for Pearl Harbor," the Jewish man says.
"But I'm Chinese!" "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?"
And the Jewish man sits back down.
Then, the Chinese man walks up to the Jewish man and punches him in the face.
"Ouch!" the Jewish man says. "What was that for?"
"That was for the Titanic," the Chinese man says.
"But that was an iceberg!"
"Ice berg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

A Chinese guy walks into a bar with a negro bartender.
He sits down and says "Pour me a jigger, nigger!" He laughs like it's the funniest shit ever.
"That's not funny," says the negro.
"Pour me a jigger, nigger!" More laughter.
"Knock that shit off," says the negro.
"Pour me a jigger, nigger!"
The negro snaps. "Fuck you man, that's not cool. How would you like it if I came into your business and called you slurs?"
"Ok, let's switch and we'll try," says the chinaman. The negro thinks about it for a second and agrees. Chinese guy gets behind the bar, negro walks out the door, comes back in, sits at the bar, and says "Pour me a drink, Chink!"
Chinese guy says "we don't serve your kind."

>>512423498 (OP)
What do you call a Mexican who cleans well?

Spic n Span

>>512424148
A: because they're knee-grows

>>512427801
>>512424148
Because all you do is run, shoot and steal

>>512423498 (OP)
Q: how many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen?
A: 2 in the front, 2 in the back and 100 in the ash tray

Why aren't there any Mexicans on Star Trek?

Because they ain't workin' in the future either!

Q: What do you call a cross between a nigger and an octopus?
A: I don't know either, but it sure can pick cotton

>>512423498 (OP)
There was a Jew who prayed every day to God to win the lottery. After 20 years of praying, God answered him and said,
>Could you at least meet me halfway and buy a ticket?

>>512428110
spics do work though
maybe swap the punchline with something alluding to them being sent back because they're illegal aliens

2/10 you can do better

>white man has been here
>how can you tell?
>c u c k o l d porn

>>512428411
>memeflag makes a post
>What is it?
Some kiked faggot garbage

Old Shlomo Shekelstein lay in his deathbed, barely conscious. Suddenly his hand shot out and grabbed his wife's wrist.
"Shonna, Shonna! I remembered, I still owe Moishe Nosenfeld fifty shekels. Promise me you'll pay him."
"Oh, doctor!" cried his wife. "Can't you do anything for his pain?"
"Pain?" said the doctor. "I don't see any signs of pain."
"But just listen to his delirious ravings!"

How was copper wire invented?
Two Jews found the same penny....

>>512423498 (OP)
Black fathers day.

>>512428541
There is no need to be upset. :^)

>>512428863
Gay faggot

Why are Jewish men circumcised?
Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 20% off.

>>512423498 (OP)
What do you call a bus full of kikes falling off a cliff?

>a good start

>>512423498 (OP)
I wanna go back to simpler times

>>512427125
Kek

>>512429039

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_0q_CXl41s

>>512423498 (OP)
>I painted my computer black because I wanted it to run faster. Now it just doesn't work
>What do you call a black man with a PHD? A nigger!
>A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "That's neat. Where did you get it?" "Africa" says the parrot

>>512423498 (OP)
A welshman and his girlfriend have a nice shag. While they're relaxing post coitus, she asks
>baby, have you had any lovers before me?
The welshman pauses to think and starts counting
>1... 2... 3...4...
Then he falls asleep

>>512423498 (OP)
There I was sitting at a wedding between a Priest and a Rabbi. A little boy bends over to tie his shoe and the Priest says
>Ohh, Id really like to screw him!
then the Rabbi asks
>Outta what?

budun-tiss

>>512423498 (OP)
How do you keep niggers out of your back yard?

Hang one in the front!

>>512424531
Haha only good joke.

>>512423498 (OP)
Whats the difference between a dead dog or a dead nigger in the middle of the road?

The dog has skidmarks leading up to it!

>>512423760
Kick your sister in the jaw...

>>512427125
>building section 8 duplexes in the ghetto

>>512427677
>"we don't serve your kind."
AW

should have been
>we don't serve niggers here

>>512423498 (OP)
Why are basketball players so tall?
Because they're knee grows

>>512423498 (OP)
Saw this nigger going to work

>>512429202
How do you starve a nigger

>put his foodstamps in his working boots

A jew, a nigger and an irishman walk into a bar and the bartender says
>Get the fuck out.

I am not a racist you faggots, I have two black dogs and a colored TV

>>512429477
PFFAAHAHAHAHAHA

ok that was good

>>512429491
>A jew, a nigger and an irishman

how could he tell them apart?

Why are blacks so fast?
Because the slow ones are already in jail

>>512429433
It's only polite to give the exact reason for any discrimination.
>we're already closed
>and we don't serve niggers

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen?
Two in the front, three in the back, and fifteen in the ashtray.

>>512429615
The jew said he was owed a drink, the nigger tried to steal one and the irishman was already drunk

>>512429574
Underrated. It's the first thing that shows up on youtube if you search 'jewish kirby song'

>>512424531
Lol
>>512427125
I don't get it

>>512429760
LOL

>>512429626
Also could be
>The slow ones are picking cotton

>>512423498 (OP)
4 men are sitting on a park bench, a jew, a black, a Mexican, and a white. A genie appears from a magic lamp and tells the men that he'll grant them each whatever wish they want. The black man says, "I wish all black people were back in Africa to live in peace, prosperity and harmony" and the genie grants his wish. The jewish man says, "I wish all my jewish brethren were in the great holy land of Israel" and the genie rants his wish. The Mexican says, "I wish all the Mexicans were back in Mexico" and the genie grants his wish. The white man says, "All the blacks are in Africa now?" The genie says, "Yes." And all the jews are in Israel now?" The genie says, "Yes." "And all the Mexicans are back in Mexico?" The genie says, "Yes." The white man says, "I'll have a diet coke"

A white guys walking along a beach and finds a lamp, after rubbing the sand off it a genie pops out and grants him 3 wishes.
After careful consideration, the white guy asks for all the niggers to be sent back to Africa.
>It is done! What is your second wish?
The man asks for a massive 500 foot wall to be built around all of Africa.
>It is done! What is your third wish?
Fill'er up!

>>512429910
thats great HAhahahah

>>512430055
kek

Man, I used to know so many of these. My one buddy made like 400 dead nigger jokes and would post them in barrens chat in WoW... its been so long... so long..

What's the difference between a black dad an a boomerang? A boomerang comes back.
A Mexican magician was doing a magic trick. He said, Uno, Dose, and he disappeared without a trace.
I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
Why do jewish men get circumcised? Because jewish girls won't touch anything that's not at least 15% off.
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me racist, I'd have enough money for a nigger to rob me and a jew to pick up the coins he drops as he runs away.

What do Spongebob and Asians have in common? They're both yellow and can't drive

>>512423498 (OP)
nigger

What’s black on the inside, yellow on the outside, and funny as hell?

A school bus full of niggers going off a cliff.

>>512430934
Whats purple, red and hates picking cotton?

My nigger and ill paint him whatever color I want too.

>>512424903
lame

>>512429002
pit bull or lawyer joke

>>512429339
lawyer joke

>>512428559
superlame, not even a joke

>>512427125
Funny. My shovel got stolen just this week and I have no idea by whom.

>>512427801
The correct version of this joke, unlike lame >>512424148.

OK, how long does it take a nigger to take a shit?
Nine months.

>>512423498 (OP)
What do the letters in Pontiac stand for?
Poor
Old
Nigger
Thinks
It's
A
Cadillac

>>512427767
Why didn't the nigger marry the Puerto Rican?

He didn't want to have children who were too lazy to steal

The old indian chief sat in his teepee, when a young brave came in.
"Chief, for as long as our people can remember, you have named every baby born in our tribe. How do you come up with all of these names?"
The chief pondered briefly before responding. "When a child is born, I name him or her after the first thing I see. If a child is born, and I see snow softly falling, I name her Snow Softly Falling. If a child is born, and an eagle flies over, I name him Eagle Flying Over. Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"

>>512429880
>i dont get it
why do you think the slave masters had the niggers picking cotton instead of doing hard labour?

What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot.

>>512432083
natives have the best names

>>512423498 (OP)
Tragedy struck today when a bus full of Indian migrants went over a cliff, killing all on board. There were 17 empty seats.

>i dont like racist jokes
>my grandfather died in a concentration camp
>got drunk and fell off a guard tower

What's the difference between a pizza and a nigger? A pizza can feed a family. What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you throw it in the oven.
What do you call a nigger on the moon? A problem. What do you call a hundred niggers on the moon? Solving the problem.
What do you say when you see your tv floating around at night?
"Drop it, nigger!"
What do you say if you see your fridge floating away at night?
Nothing, because that's a really big nigger

>>512423498 (OP)
What’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?


I’d never pay $100 to have a lentil on my face.

>>512432264
learn to tell a joke u verbose nigger faggot

>>512432180
I knew an American Horse and a Bob Falls Down. American Horse talked like a noble savage; asked if he was doing secret Santa and he said "I don't celebrate the white man's Christmas" and I could have sworn I heard tribal music as he spoke. Bob was an alcoholic who fell down a lot. Two people, two sides of their racial stereotypes.

>>512432378
It's several jokes, you retarded, illiterate, ADHD addled zoomer faggot cocksucker.

>>512432378
I hope your kids get leukemia, piece of shit

>>512432378
A fucking leaf

>>512423498 (OP)
Why are black people so tall?

Because their knee grows.

Why do Jews have big noses?
Because air is free>>512432668

>dad, what the fuck happened to the car?! It's covered in mud, blood and bits of tree
>Oh my God son I hit an Indian man on the way home it was horrible
>Omg dad are you ok? That explains the blood but what's with the dirt and the tree?
>That smelly cunt tried escaping through the park son

Do you know why they smell that bad though? It's so blind people can hate them too.

>>512423498 (OP)
Jew and a priest are sitting on a park bench.
Priest says to Jew “Hey let’s go fuck that kid!”
Jew says “Outta what?”

Why do black Jews have it worst?
>They have to sit at the back of the gas chamber

Whats the difference between Jews and Santa?
>Santa comes down a chimney

>>512429039
new polish parachute just released to the troops
fs 2000
failsafe 2000
opens on impact

What happened when a jewish man walked into a wall with an erection? He broke his nose

>>512423498 (OP)
Two rabbis enter gaza, now all the kids are dead.
Mazeltov.

What's the worst thing about 5 niggers trapped in a burning Escalade?

An Escalade seats 7

>>512432378
>all the leaves are brown

>>512433807
the fat pig wearing the drop sheet was a joooish heroin addict
the more you know....

Catholic priest is sitting on park bench feeding birds
Rabbi sits next to him and eats his sammich
Priest sees little kids playing on a playground and starts sweating
Rabbi continues to eat his lunch without a care
Priest gets curious and asks
"Hey Rabbi,would You ever fuck a kid?"
Rabbi replies" Out of what?"

Why does an American wear 2 watches ?
He's so fat he covers 2 time zones

>>512427313
>Azn, Banana Bananame, Bandwidth Nigger/Whore, Bed Time, Bruce Lee, Bruised Banana, Buddhahead, Bug-Eater, Bukkakese, Burnt Rice, Can'ardly Chap, Chinaman, Ching-Chong, Chinina, Chink, Chinkerbell, Coin Slot, Cook, Coolie, Data, Dog-Eater, Dog-Muncher, DWO, Egghead, Eggroll, Fingernail Rancher, Fishhead, Floss, Gink, Goldfish Monger, Goloid, Gookemon, Grasshopper, Grinder, HAB, Honky/Honkie, Ironing Board, Japanigger, Jaundy Boy, Jin, Junta, Knees, Lemonhead, Little Hiroshima, Meat Pie, Miyagi, Mushu, Nikon, Nine Iron, Ninja, Nuprin, Ornamental, P-1, Pancake, Panhead, Patty, Peeled Banana, Ping-pang, Pizdaglaz, Plate Tossers, Pointy-Head, Post It, Potato Queen, Powerpoint, Pumpkinhead, Quarter Jockey, Random, Rasian, Rice Ball, Rice Burner, Rice Nigger, Rice-Cooke, Rice-Eater, Rice-Paddy, SBH, Schlitzauge, Seaweed-Sucker, Simpson, Slant, Slantey-eye’d, Sleepwalker, Slit, Slope, Slope Head, Smack, Socket Face, Basedback, Squint, Sunny Side Up, Table Face, Tai-chink, Tape Head, Test-Taker, Thin-Eyed, Tinty, Tiny, Triad, Twinkie, Two Stroke, Uzbek, vC, Wang Chung, Waverunner, Winky, Wog, Woggle, Yangmo, Yao, Yellow, Yellow Devil, Yelvis, Yigger, Zipperhead

These jokes are are getting worse and worse. Maybe I can help out here. I have a Ph D in racism.
> What do you get then you cross an Asian with a Mexican?
A man who can steal a car but can't drive one.
>What do you call 5 black skydivers whose chutes didn't open?
A parking lot.
>What does the black kid get for Christmas?
My bike.
>How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a white girl?
Toss them a basketball.
>What has six arms and six legs and says "ho de dur, ho de dur, ho de dur"
3 black men running to and elevator.
>How do stop a black kid from jumping on the bed?
Put Velcro on the ceiling.
>What do you call a black man with a job?
Rare.

As I was getting home to my apartment, I saw a nigger carrying a TV through the parking lot that looked a lot like mine. I ran up the stairs and burst through the door, but mine was still there.
Shining my shoes.

>>512427901
kek, you ended that joke better

I remember when I was in Kindergarten we went to my uncles on a Sunday night. I was like 6 I think but I remember there was no school the next day for MLK Day. My uncle goes me -

"Well anon, you excited for niglet day tomorrow?"
I didn't know exactly what he meant but I just nodded my head yes.
"Just think, if they would have shot 4 more of them you could have had the whole week off."
I think about this sometimes.

>>512432109
huh?

>>512434501
most common joke posted in this thread, at least 3 anons posted it

If jokes are a measure of problems causing groups in society, then I'm happy to note that there are hardly any Indian jokes, other than the two the brishit faggot posted above.

>>512439036
It's a dated form of humor. Most of the jokes about you are crafted here but they don't follow the same design as jokes. They're more like bants. Jokes are super clever and if done well they're gold.

What's the difference between roadkill and an Indian.
>nothing

>>512423498 (OP)
Hoe many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
>None ;_;

A taxi driver picks up a priest.
As be drives along, he notices a black man crossing the street.
Accelerating hard, he aims the roaring vehicle towards the man, only to suddenly remember he's carrying a priest.
He swerves and misses the black man by inches and apologizes profusely to the priest behind him.
"I'm deeply sorry for that, Father. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The priest raises a hand and smiles.
"That's alright, my child. I got him with the door."

>www.bloodstainedmen.com
MEN STANDING UP AGAINST jEWISH-ORCHESTRATED CHILD GENITAL MUTILATION!!

How do you tell if the plane that's landed is full of Brits?

Because the engines shut down, but the whining continues.

>>512438883
well well well
mandeep is at the pharmacy because he has an upset stomach lmao. he asks the pharmacist for help and he gives him quinine, mandeep pays and leaves. On his way home he is reading the box and goes back to the pharamacy. Saar Saar you gave me quinine for my stomach but this is say Strychnine?! Mandeep asks quinine strychnine whats the difference?? the pharmacist is horrified and apologises for his mistake and says, i overcharged you fifty cents

>>512440829
are you the deranged codex video aussie? Because this joke makes no sense.

What do you call a black man with a PhD?

Nigger.

>>512423498 (OP)
Why doesn’t the white cuck need a gym membership?
Because the black bull does all the heavy lifting… right in his house.

>>512432281
Its garbanzo bean. Dumbass nigger. Lentil? What the fuck?

>>512442179
Why doesn't the nigger need a gym membership?
The prison gym is free.

>>512423498 (OP)
this first one might be hard to tell via text instead of vocally
>1.
What do you call someone from Nigeria? - A Nigerian.
What do you call someone from Niger? - A NIJJER! (because Niger is pronounced "ni-jer")

>2.
Three Jews find a magical lamp and rub it, a genie pops out of the lamp and says he will grant 3 wishes, but only one each to the 3 Jews.
The Jews discuss for a moment and agree that what they wish for will be shared and benefit all three of them.
The first Jew says, "I wish for 3 million dollars!" - With a nod and snap of the finger, the genie says "Your wish is granted."
The second Jew says to the first Jew "Hey that's not nearly enough! Genie, I wish for 3 billion dollars!" - With a nod and snap of the finger, the genie says "Your wish is granted."
The genie says to the third Jew, "I suppose you wish for 3 trillion dollars?"
"No." said the third Jew, "Instead, I wish for antisemitism to end!" - With a nod and snap of the finger, the genie says "Your wish is granted."
The 3 Jews disappear.

>>512445029
>The 3 Jews disappear.
shouda been
>the jews disappeared

How do you tell if an owl is Jewish?
Who nose.

>>512423498 (OP)
What do you call a Paki who has been there and done that?
>Bindere Dundat

>>512445103
It's from that local perspective. It still implies that every Jew disappeared.
When you hear that the 3 Jews disappeared, you will think "wait why did the 3 of them disappear? oohhhh it's because ALL of them did"
It's a sort of "Aha!" punchline gag

>>512423498 (OP)
how do you stop 5 black guys from raping a white chick?

throw them a basketball.

how do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed?

put velcro on the ceiling

>>512445456
you've got a point

>>512423498 (OP)
How do you confuse a Polack? Put him in a round room and tell him to piss in the corner.

That's all I got.

>>512423498 (OP)
I only know one joke but it's not racist :(
>What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat ?
the wheelchair

>>512423498 (OP)
What happens when a jew gets an erection and runs into a brick wall?
He breaks his nose.

>>512442179
>muh dick box nood muhfugga

>>512443058
kek

>>512428992
>or more

>>512446347
that's a horrible joke. and not in a "omg youse making fun of le disabled!" but in "you need to watch Monty Python 1000 times over to get your humour skill at least to 5 before posting here" way

A kike, a nazi and a faggot walk into a bar
The barman:
"We don't serve ukrainians here"

>>512423498 (OP)
>Share your favorite racist jokes here

>>512423498 (OP)
poland is a real country

>>512454940
polan stronk

>>512423498 (OP)
What do you call a black man flying a place?
...
A pilot, you racist piece of shit.

>>512455709
*plane
Ffs, I screwed that up. kms

>>512455787
>kms
I don't mind if you do

CNN made this thread