Thread 512437747

I want to be a sorcerer and sell my soul to the devil or a demon, but he never made an offer. This is proof your god isn't real

>>512437747 (OP)
newfag

>>512437747 (OP)
>Want something
>Don't get what you want
>Start crying
>GOD DOESN'T EXIST

>>512437747 (OP)
You have to put salt in your eye as an offering.

Update us on how it goes

>>512437747 (OP)
I would want to be a literal super powerful and durable 40 foot tall monster, if I ever had an edgy “I hate humanity” phase and wanted to sell my soul.
The things I would do to NYC…

You know how infants cry like the world is ending over the dumbest things?
This thread is exactly that in a form of condensed stupidity that it makes it hard for me to believe poster is old enough to be on this board.

>>512437993
Thats unironically based as fuck. I hate NYC.

>>512437747 (OP)
I made him an offer once, my soul if he killed all the kikes. That night I dreamed my whole family died.

>>512437747 (OP)
You have to be an alcoholic and look like a threat to feds. I believe sometimes you just have to be an alcoholic.
Then they will connect you to their "network" and go full schizo.
It's not looking good for them bros...

Trump won, God's dead

>>512437967
Based album

>>512438071
>my soul if he killed all the kikes

That is a shit deal. Why would he get rid of ~16 million souls just to get one servant?

At least be reasonable with your deals

>>512437747 (OP)
What makes you think the devil buys souls?

>>512437747 (OP)
It's just as likely that your soul is worthless and the devil simply doesn't want it

>>512437747 (OP)
You don’t get an offer if your soul is already a piece of shit. Your already going to hell for being an evil retard so you have nothing to offer

>>512437747 (OP)
You have to go to a crossroads and say "Mephistopheles" three times or some shit

Look into John Dee.

>>512437924
>>512437930
>>512437966
>>512437993
>t.

>>512438315
>>512438321
ACKSHUALLY the exact opposite is true, the devil always tries to sift the souls with the lowest self esteem.

>>512438400
>/pol/'s god is yahweh
newfag confirmed

>>512437747 (OP)
If any demons/aliens are watching, I just want to be healthy again. In exchange I'll be a minion and do shit work for 1000 years, no job is off limits, no weird sex stuff though, unless it's absolutely necessary.

Why would the devil buy something that he's clearly already got for free

>>512437747 (OP)
You probably did it wrong. Did you even craft a summoning circle with the sigil of the demon you wanted to summon? Did you make the proper offerings? Did you hold the correct protective objects? Were you expecting to just be handed things and only have to give up your 'soul'?
You should start with doing more research.

>>512438019
>>512438315
>>512438321
>t.

>>512437747 (OP)
you're a complete fool and know not what you ask. i dont know if he has a name but you need to offer something. you may not get exactly what you ask for, and often you may not even realize the gravity of what you're putting up, but there is some equal exchange in this universe, dont fuck with it unless you are certain

>>512437747 (OP)
The devil doesn't grant magic powers. You have to steal a magical being's soul and enchant an object. Humans are incapable of channeling magical energies on their own, even with the devil's help. It's sort of like how Darth Vader wasn't able to channel Force lightning because his arms were artificial and were disconnected from the Force.

>>512438558
No. I never did anything. Just expected him to come

>>512438477
Low self esteem=/=low quality
Low quality is low quality, regardless of the self esteem of the soul.

>>512438565
Idgi.

>>512437747 (OP)
OP I want you to know that satan - the devil - evil incarnate, has made the world as terrible as it is for many people on purpose, in the hope many more will think like you; that life will be so miserable or unbearable that any escape from it, including bargaining with the evil one, seems like a reasonable option.

It's a trap. A trap for your eternal soul. Don't fall for it.

The Lord God almighty loves you more than you could ever understand - as hard as that is to realise, this side of heaven - but eternity with the Lord in paradise is the only thing any of us should want. Ask the Holy Spirit to teach and guide you, in humble prayer, if you want to know real power.

Bless and praise the Lord, Jesus Christ, forevermore! Amen!

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ph40KCrKE24

>>512437993
If anything, New York would become your new home.

>>512438400
I would be approximately 240 bibles tall, if that is what you are wondering
Maybe I could look like a literal mega-satan as I destroy NYC on my edgy rampage, which would be the highest form of irony with that previous statement in mind. Hmmm

>>512438544
>no weird sex stuff though,
Leave that to me, bro.