Thread 512870349

Those little underwater scheming fucks are starting fires in leafland. It’s very dangerous to even go in the forests in Canada without starting fires. Everyone needs to make the country safe so immigrants can feel more welcome in their new home.

>>512870349 (OP)
Please understand that forest fires are very scary to a leaf. We are very combustable and as such must take steps to stave off day of the rake.

>>512870523
If you raked your leafs you would not have so many fires just saying.

>>512870349 (OP)
sounds odd. wonder how the spark went all the way down to the ground seeing how fish are kind of wet and not terribly combustible. maybe it was some jerked fish.

>>512871502
M8, cool it with the anti semitism

>>512871641
was more thinking that perhaps some caretaker of the land feathernigger was communing with nature and let the osprey share some of his dried fish (which he caught and smoked himself).

but hey you know, this reminds me of that old joke;
Why did the osprey drop its catch?
To set fire to the woods.

>>512870349 (OP)
I would say "how retarded do they think we are" but then I remembered your average Canadian really is this fucking retarded.

>>512872639
If a bird drops a fish in the forest and no one is there to see it, does it start a fire?

>>512873332
kek, good one

No one:
Birds:

>>512870349 (OP)
It's still getting a ticket.

>>512871502
Luckily he carried matches.

>>512873332
There is no reality independent of observation anon.

>>512872417
You get a nice baked salmon and whatever else the fire kills. It's a pretty good deal but you have to eat fast be those hoomans show up.

>>512870349 (OP)

Sounds like pollocks.

>>512873799
fucker was smoking cheap indian cigarettes for sure. he'd just picked up a carton from the res

>>512873863
those birds are getting smart

>>512870349 (OP)
In california they just blame the wind

>>512870349 (OP)
Sea monsters fucking everywhere

Jesus? Dat u?

here be the fish in question

apparently they didn't see the fish actually causing the fire. they just found this fish while they were putting the fire out and thunked up the whole scenario. the osprey in question was seen close by.

lol

maybe the bird had been drop twigs and branches on the lines to get things going then tossed his dinner in there to fry.

>>512870349 (OP)
PISS hh

>>512870349 (OP)
The saar fears the fish.

>>512874267
Hey, in Australia, there are hawks that deliberately spread fire to aid in hunting.

>>512875220
Are you sure they aren't just trying to drive away abos?

>>512874669
See? Perfectly baked and ready for pecking apart. Those firefighters don't know what they are missing.

>>512875220
How do they spread fire?

>>512875280
They haven't figured out how to get the fire into the middle of the road yet.

>>512871502
It was a white fish

>>512875220
intredasting. those birds are definitely pretty smart then
this definitely lends weight to the idea that shit osprey did this shit on purpose.

>>512875286
nah, everyone loves a nice grilled salmon over in BC anon. big salmon runs up the Fraser and the lakes are good too.

>>512875633
>big salmon runs up the Fraser and the lakes are good too
Might have to come up there for a run. I've been looking into steelhead, too.

>>512870349 (OP)
>Fish are starting fires in Canada
goddammit, read the story! Fish don't cause brush fires, motherfucking OSPREY cause forest fires.

BAN FISH CONTROL! Guard your right to carry fish!

>>512870349 (OP)
Truly these are the Last Days. Repent.

>>512870349 (OP)
BAN FISH
BAN OSPREYS
THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!11

>512870349
> Those little underwater scheming fucks
My fucking sides

>>512870349 (OP)
No no, this won't do. We have ban birds from woods.

>>512871502
Headlines like OPs make me think they're comms for those in the know