Thread 513325699

In this thread you confess crimes you've never been convicted of.

This exercise is intended to improve trust among us and to relieve you of the burden of guilt.

Come on anon, don't you want to feel better? Spill the beans.

I let a glowie tongue my anus once >.<

>>513325699 (OP)
Great idea op! I can't wait to see what wacky misadventures /pol/ anons have been getting up to! : )

>>513325699 (OP)
>confess crimes you've never been convicted of.

So I can make up shit i never even did?

>>513325699 (OP)
I once tried to bomb a synagogue and I was sentenced to 18 months in prison and 5 months of community service

>>513325699 (OP)
i worked for a company for 6 years and didnt realize they were supposed to pay me overtime. it was a seasonal job, only 4 to 6 months of work.

i used to penny pick at the casino. went in with $0 and come out with $5 to $6 everyday for months on end

used to visit asian whorehouses. And got "kidnapped" once by a rouge prostitute but she let me go eventually.

thats all my crimes.

You know the unsolved attack on the California power substation?
I once removed the tags from my mattress while speculating about who might have done it. And I used a counterfeit Benchmade knife with illegal copyright logos on it.

I steal light up lawn ornaments and put then in my yard at one point before I moved I think I had like 15 gnomes and 30 of those solar powered lights.

I didn’t fuck that girl in college and I never anally fucked my ex

I should be in prison but I’m not in married with no anal but she’s still pretty hot so I won’t go anywhere

>>513325699 (OP)
I have pirated films and music and books.

Niggers tongued my anus

>>513325699 (OP)
pope francis tongued my feet

>>513325699 (OP)
i lied to online feds

I jerked off AND CAME to a black gorilla nigger shemale jerking of her clit.

I stole a few snicker bars from my first job. Oh, and I also murdered a family of six on a remote Bavarian homestead in 1922, but I don't think that one counts

>>513325699 (OP)
Justice? Actions of stabbed niggers broke into pd homes and stole a glock from a cop burned down 2 schools shot up the naacp building

>>513327248
Fuck I forgot

I stole my mother’s heart when I was born

>>513325699 (OP)
I once wacked a few Fedcoats and buried their bodies in the woods. Promise not to tell anyone OP? You glowie faggot.

>>513327248
There was a guy in the US at the same time as the bavarian homestead massacre happened that was going around the US trainhopping and massacring whole families in their homes and eating their food staying for a couple days and trainhopping again. Funnily enough.

I once stole a car from someone's driveway, took it for a joyride, then put it back.
Clonazepam is a hell of a drug

I jerked to the Virgin Mary

I killed Paul Allen

>>513327709
That was also me, sorry!

>>513325699 (OP)
Everytime a jew dies of a heart attack it's because I killed them with my telekinesis

>>513325699 (OP)
When i was 14 at a comic book store the main store clerk went out do something and I quickly grab random comics and stuff that shit in my bookback left and never went there again

>>513327818
which place had the best food?

>>513325699 (OP)
Define crime for me. When I compare the elite jews getting arrested and immediately released for grooming/raping kids, I find it difficult to define what crime is anymore. Seems like nothing is true and everything is permitted.

>>513326154
You didn't touch the blowmolds did you? They're festive man

>>513325699 (OP)
Nice try nsa

I worked for a construction company at 18 and all the boomer employees and the boss were complete cunts. Logically, I piss into their unattended Gatorade bottles every chance I got, and all of them have drunk my piss without knowing it.

>>513325699 (OP)
Hi my name is The nation ofd israel and I have committed numerous acts of terror even before I was created. Before and after committing terrorist acts i like to rape children and suck blood from baby dicks. I recently used a sitting congressperson to threaten the United States if they "abandon" me for using them to aid in my terrorist actions.

Hi Anons,
It's me the terrorist known as jew. I like to kidnap children and use their blood for satanic rituals then grind the meat up and feed it to Humans.
Other terrorists might come and try to say this is libel but my uncle Fritz taught me how to..
>In the 1920s, Fritz Haarmann was known as a successful seller of secondhand clothes and was beloved by housewives for his endless supply of cheap meat — until they learned he harvested both of his products from slain runaway boys.
https://allthatsinteresting.com/fritz-haarmann

i kissed a girl and i liked it.