In the third-world hellhole where I live, the politicians
have decided to punish any lawful homeowner who
successfully defends themselves from a home invasion.

That said, the homeowner has distinct advantages in this
situation. First, the invader probably didn't tell anyone
where he was planning to go, so if said invader just
"vanishes", why would anyone suspect the homeowner?
Second, the events happen in the privacy of the owner's home,
away from witnesses. Third, if the case ever reaches court, there
is no motive for the actions of the homeowner, who probably
didn't know the invader in the first place.

The big problem after this altercation would be, what's
the best way to remove the evidence?

>>513888534 (OP)
Tell them that they MAIDed via lead poisoning

Unlikely. If that were true home invaders would wear bodycams and stream their invasion on twitch or something, just in case.

>>513888534 (OP)
Butcher, then freeze the meat. Burn the neural tissue.

>>513888534 (OP)
Bump

>>513888674
this is the right answer.

Keep one of those big-ass rubbermaid tubs handy because if it ever actually happens, you're gonna want a place to contain the body & mess until you figure out what's next.

>>513888534 (OP)
illegal you dumb ass canuck

>>513888950
I'd just bury the failed home invader deep in the woods.

>>513888534 (OP)
I've given this some thought.
With a large enough food dessicator, you could turn a human into about 15 pounds of dry fuel, which a small incinerator could reduce to white ash descreetly.

>>513888534 (OP)
The Canadian wilderness is a big place, would be very easy to dig a hole inna woods somewhere.

>>513888534 (OP)
1.Dig a hole add corpse.
2.Assemble wood to burn.
3.Burn & bury.
4.STFU
5.STFU
6.STFU

>>513888534 (OP)
disposal basics

1- you need plastic sheeting for a reason, but not as you might think. when you freeze the body, you'll need to contort it into the fetal position. in this manner, without inserting plastic sheeting between the folds of skin, joints, legs, etc... then later disassembly will prove more difficult than necessary

2- deep freeze. a family size deep freeze is not necessary, such that only a medium to small version is necessary for full freezing while utilizing the fetal position technique. adjust as conditions require, but the purchase of a small deep freeze, and more importantly, installation in often difficult locations as high rise apartments and etc...

3- battery powered drill and extended length 3/8" diameter drills for metal. a length of ~12" is sufficient for disassembly, proving to be a safer technique than using a saw, due to the possibility of slippage and self cuts. additionally, drilling a series of holes often times permits snapping the remaining mass from the body, increasing the ease of the task.

4- dry ice. this aids in getting a colder freeze prior to departing the area to dispose of severed items. an insulating wrap and a hiking bag work well.

in this manner, the individual pieces can be removed, as the complete fetal mass is inserted via plastic sheet between itself and the freezer, premitting full removal to a more suitable workspace, and return to freezing before a smell betrays the situation to others.

from there, find hungry animals. careful about bones and water, since fish tend to ignore bone. if at sea, ensure to obviously be deepwater fishing yourself or with trusted others. otherwise, you are going to be doing a lot of hiking lately with a frozen limb wrapped in insulating material. if you can manage to find an animal in a trap you set, feed it the pieces over time, along with water, to gain friendship with it for later when you have to set it free. last thing you need is people finding parts in a dead animal.

>>513888534 (OP)
Taxidermy & "Wax doll collection" in the garage

This is a fed thread.

>>513888534 (OP)
The big problem most people have is just shutting their mouths about it. If you have that on lock, the rest will fall into place for you with relative ease.

>>513890063
They're all fed threads. Who cares.

Kek ....Fargo

>>513888534 (OP)
If you're gonna bury the body in to the soil you need to remove the teeth, they dont decompose, choose a location that is relatively humid (faster decomposition) and since its Canada you probably dont have an option for a warm burial site so dig deep, deeper than you think you need to

If you have a boat wrap the body in chicken wire, many layers needed and sturdy attachement so it doesn't come off, buy 4 large kettlebells (25kg) and attach them to the chicken wire contraption so when the bodys natural gas expands its not going to float, the body will bloat in the salt water and the wire will cut it into small pieces in a week or two

Clean the blood with bleach and do not put any blood in the toilet or shower they will be found from the pipes

>>513890225
hey guys, it's me, one of the feds working in the pit today. we have to work sunday, which obviously fucking sucks for us just as much as you guys. we're hanging out watching true crime documentaries (they let it on weekends as part of the deal) and thinking of cool questions you guys could answer.

so, please, keep up the cool responses. also, if possible, give more detail towards the physical appearances of your hypothetical victims. that would be a lot of fun to chat about for everyone.

>>513890329
Isn't this really the answer? If the guy hadn't kept the stolen car he would have gotten away with it.

>>513890517
remember, we are just like you and hate the blackies and have fun sitting around the pit together talking about how we would get away with crimes, since we know more about how they are solved.

but you guys, man, you guys always surprise us with stuff. so smart you guys are.

>>513888534 (OP)
You would get caught eventually. A body is extremely difficult to dispose

>>513888674
Wtf is neural tissue

>>513888534 (OP)
looks like you answered your own question lol

>>513890812
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nervous_system

>>513888534 (OP)
Go buy diesel fuel and you will need to boil it as hot as you can get it. Stick the body inside and it'll melt to its essence. Could be bullshit some spicy on YouTube said it.

>>513890517
That's swell buddy, have a great day.

>>513888534 (OP)
>become cannibal
>profit

>>513890942
Why specifically burn this? Why not burn everything

>>513888534 (OP)
Any crucible cable of melting iron can powder bone. Acetone dissolve fat. Grit soap / Fast Orange removes gun shot residue. Diesel destroys biomarkers left on things. Water deadens smells when things are submerged in it. The more uncommon the murder weapon, the more likely to get caught. Never buy something to use it for murder.

>>513891066
So you don't mistakenly eat it and get the jew disease.

>>513889657
why even dig a hole? just leave the body where bears are known to live.

>>513888534 (OP)
Keep until Halloween. Then take it wherever. Everyone will think it's fake

>>513888534 (OP)
Shoot. Shovel. Shut up.

>>513888534 (OP)
Just put it in the trash. Trashman doesn't look, he empties your bin with a robot arm.

>>513891066

>>513891157
Oh . So....
>>513891029

>>513888534 (OP)
Just call the cops. Even the most cucked countries let you use lethal force against someone who is rushing you with a knife.

Lots of body disposal experts itt it seems. I've never done something like that but common sense tells me that unless you are an actual psychopath you'll likely not be able to butcher, put through a wood chipper or dissolve a human body, even if it's of someone you absolutely hate. I wouldn't be able to do so anyway. If this scenario would take place in a more rural setting, in a house not an urban place or apartment building, you could just drive and dump the fucker in a large body of water or in the woods. Wouldn't even bury him, takes a lot of time (someone can notice you) and the shovel is another piece of evidence to worry about. Just handle everything with gloves, thoroughly clean everything and stay out of the surveillance field of view.

>>513891066
Prions.

>>513891329
No. Even if you evade jail here on self defense your life is completely destroyed.

>>513888534 (OP)
i live near pigs and use a chainsaw

Call 911?

>>513891392
This. It's disgusting just thinking about the smell and carnage. Being there i would be gagging trying to do it

>>513891329
>>513891474
>Calling the occupiers
Lol is this 1985?

>>513891474
Here in the states, yeah. But countries like UK have no right to self defense

>>513891474
No thanks, dont want to get shot.

>>513888534 (OP)
well in my town there's a lot of bums in sleeping bags under overpasses that nobody approaches for weeks. make of that what you will

Just shoot them in the heart and call the police

>>513891392
>stay out of the surveillance field of view.

That's literally the biggest problem, there are cameras everywhere. Even if you go innawoods, some farmer has prolly set up motion activated trailcams.

>>513891329
Good joke. A 80 year old man went to prison here for shooting a South American nigger with a criminal record longer than the bible that invaded his home with a chainsaw, just because he shot him in the back (but still inside his home).

>>513888671
You just invented a new horror beyond my comprehension

>>513888534 (OP)
Third worlds dont care abour being fair to criminals, you can shoot up a guy with a knife in your yard and get away with it in Venezuela

>>513888534 (OP)
hogs

Burry the body out in the woods. If there is forest fire, even better. Just dump it in the path of the flames. Remember to take the intruder's cellphone and dump it in a river first if you burry the body. Otherwise the forest fire method will take care of the cellphone problem.

Lots of Antifa disappeared in 2020 when they had all those fires that magically stopped at the Canadian border.

>>513888534 (OP)
Minimal movement of the body. Moving it is dangerous and where you are likely to be discovered.
Dig a 2 meter hole in the ground in the back garden. Body goes in the hole, and something gets planted on top.

>>513890398
You just need to make sure they don't find the body. The more you mess with it the longer it lingers in your house until the smell attracts attention.

>>513890517
/pol/ is your best thinktank. I'm waiting for your knock on my door not to arrest me but to offer me a job.

pour lye on body in grave. let it dissolve. no more

>>513888534 (OP)
figure out a way to shoot the body into space. once in space human remains are untraceable

>>513891764

"The Skin I Live In" tells the story of Dr. Robert Ledgard, a plastic surgeon obsessed with creating synthetic skin, who keeps a mysterious woman named Vera captive.

The film reveals through flashbacks that Vera is actually Vicente, a man who was kidnapped and subjected to gender reassignment surgery by Ledgard after being blamed for his daughter's death.

>>513891918
Doesn’t work. Of body is found there won’t be smoke damage to the lungs consistent with smoke inhalation. That’s a clear murder and is easy to spot

since this is a fed honeypot thread I'm just going to tell them something they already know but maybe not everyone else does. if there's no body and no weapon, it's not a suspected homicide but rather a missing person. usually missing person reports do not go very far at all unless it's a young attractive female. basically there would be no forward motion looking for old Tyrone and it would be a cold case and get no coverage. when's the last time you saw an Amber alert for a 22-year-old black male? nobody gives a shit, statistically speaking.

>>513892092
Dead body will only begin to really smell after 72 hours, ofcourse sometimes people poop when they die so thats not too pleasant to sniff at

>>513891918
If the body has a phone you are absolutely fucked. Just call 911 at that point.

>>513892258
It's so obvious this. I mean come on

>>513892258
Just put it with the Epstein files. No one will ever see it then.

Technically insects do most of the work. Bones can be burned until there isn't any DNA left

>>513888534 (OP)
This what you do op.
Dig a six ft deep hole about three feet wide.
Place the refuse in a tarp top side down. Leave the bottom of the tarp open and place in the hole. Throw a few gallons of bleach in the hole.
Cover hole.
Its important you dig a deep hole where you are forced to put your refuse in vertically.
Make the hole as inconspicuous as possible.
It wont look like a "grave" and within a couple weeks wont look like much of anything to even GPR.
It's the phrase. Shoot, shovel, shut up.
Or triple S.

>>513892284

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piranha_solution
>don't splash

>>513888674
As expensive as good meat has gotten in Canada, you might as well make some long pork out of your home invader.

>>513892406
So then what if a Brazilian goddess invades your home?

>>513892406
Niggers never hide the body after they kill a nigger.

>>513888534 (OP)
https://youtu.be/2xUynRdzzsM?feature=shared

>>513888534 (OP)
Just do whatever Auschwitz did to hide the evidence

Cut it into pieces. Try not to get blood everywhere and don't get it into carpet unless you want to tear it up afterwards.
Put the pieces into heavy duty trash bags, double wrap them to make sure no blood or any other kind of liquid leaks out before you put them in your trunk. Bring the box of bags. Go to a hog farm, sneak over to the hog pen, get their attention, and dump the pieces from the bag into the pen. They eat everything, even the bones. Put the dirty bags into new clean bags, go home or someone secluded and burn them. When you get home, clean the fuck out of your house. Even a small hair can royally fuck you if they find it.

>>513888674
>just eat the body bro
No you fucking psychopath, not everyone is as deranged as you

>>513892793
>Occifers I dug the body up and lit a toe and it turned into ash and blew up

>>513891165
Bad idea.
Bears would carry parts around and increase the chances of someone finding the body.
Burrying is the best option.
There is no way someone is going to randomly dig there in your lifetime.

>>513892852
>Somewhere
I don't know how I fucked that up.

>>513892852
>Cut it into pieces. Try not to get blood everywhere and don't get it into carpet unless you want to tear it up afterwards.
do people not know about hydrogen peroxide? it practically deletes bloodstains.

>>513892953
>Burying is the best option.
For someone to find the body. Talk about fed posting

>>513892581

Double or triple Rocket stove. It even gets hot enough to burn the teeth. Cut the head off and aim the teeth at an opening of the stove. Feed it with compressed air and atomized oil or diesel if you have it. Do it late and dig the rocket deep to hide the flames. Now mix the ashes with ashes from your grill and the local soil. Fill the hole.

You should go live in mexican or brazilian cartel nests if you think canada is a third world country. Lol. Boomer parents made their children way too entitled

butcher and feed to pigs

>>513888534 (OP)
Alfie Atheistic hit the wall.

>>513893020
I didn't know that. Interesting.

>>513893030
Canada is massive. Just pull a few dead branches over the grave and nobody is going to look twice.
Even if you're unlucky, your DNA will have vanished by the time someone finds it.
Even if they find it after two months and collect your DNA, as long as you don't ever get a criminal record, you won't get caught. Considering they couldn't pinpoint when the body was left there (compared to just leaving it in the middle of the street), they couldn't look at gas stations camera to find the killer.

>>513891329
I wish my anonymous friend but no. In my cuck country I would certainly go to jail if I confront an invader who comes knife in hand with a gun in mine

Move to Bulgaria and kill as many "people" as you like if you kill 5 people maybe they will jail you for 2 months.

>>513893328
Pigs carry the DNA. Bad call.

>>513893392
>Even if they find it after two months and collect your DNA
Bro, use a condom.

>>513888674
A lady in my town who murdered someone (they lived alone) kept the corpse in a bathroom, butchered them slowly and kept playing the 'life' game, it worked for around 3 months until caught again. it probably helps if you have no relationship whatsoever, this is incredibly bad, you will go to hell and regret the action forever, but she did it 3 months until the event caught up to her. this is why atheists are sent to war, they're not worried about god watching them, a digital panopticon is required and a false god has to watch them to keep them in line.

>>513889789
Reminds me of this old cold case
>Be two dudes
>Rape/murder girl
>Chop her up, toss body in pit
>Burn body till bone and ash
>Smash the bones, then shovel ash all into trash bags
>Fill hole, take bags to care
>Hop on highway and passenger slowly dispersed the ash/bones over the course of hours from cracking their door and pouring
>Body is now across 50 square miles
>Never speak of it again
Cops only figured it out when one of the guys confessed out of guilt. With modern tech, probably wouldn't work, but interesting angle

>>513893736
Pists like these are why i come here

>>513893851
two men can only keep a secret if one of them is dead

>>513888534 (OP)

Deep hole, cement on top.
Work in the dark, at night.
Be quiet.

>>513893851
This is though, with a home invader, i doubt guilt would ever set in. Fuck that guy.

>>513894121
It's easier to just reduce it to non organic elements

>>513888534 (OP)
>How would one dispose of a failed home invader?

SSS

>>513888534 (OP)
you cut the body into thin chunks and blend the meat while washing it down the toilet sewage, then you crush the bones up by using a hammer and portable anvil, you then flush that down the sewage too. do you require more assistance in this basic corpse disposal?

Step 1: Move from shithole nation / state
Step 2: BANG BANG BANG BANG
Step 3: call 911
Step 4: Eat sandwich

>>513894248
All they have to do is test your pipes for human goo and you're busted

>>513894248
I think the treatment plant might be a problem.

>>513888534 (OP)
If you go the dump-body-in-water way, ve sure to pierce all the organs, like you'd pierce something like a sausage or potato or tomato before cooking it.
This is to let all the gases escape.
That's how Scott Peterson fucked up. Didn't stab deep holes into the body of his wife.
Pieces of her & his dead son's fetus came floating back to haunt him.

>>513888674
have you never watched any of those truecrime slops that jewtube tried to shove into your throat everyday? that freezer thing won't work. plenty has tried and failed because even the best freezers they can get their hands on simply couldn't handle the surprising amount of meat one human body can produce
why do you think morgues use specialized machines?

>>513890063
>This is a fed thread.
What, do you are not a fed too?

>>513888534 (OP)
The issue is Canadians have not properly dealt with politicians.

>>513889095
Its not illegal. You just have to get a permit to dig

>>513894359
thats their problem, you get rid of the arab invader and life is good. dont overthink things

>>513894632
You have to call ahead before flushing a rag head because they gum up the sewage treatment

>>513892061
Some anon suggested years ago to first dump the intruder in a hole, then cover him with soil, them leave an animal cadaver ontop to confuse police dogs and only then close the hole completely.

The sea can keep a secret.

>>513894999
Sometimes. You need a boat for that though, if you don't ride her she just spits it back out on the beach.

>>513888534 (OP)
Pigs.

>>513895264
Again, pigs carry the DNA. So unless you eat them or sell them you can get caught

>>513895650
Who is going to come to your land and take dna tests from pigshit and pig blood if there's no evidence to lead them to do so? Retard.

>>513895650
>>513895814
If the guy just falls off the map and they don't even know where to start looking I promise you it won't be at a hog farm 30 miles from your house.

>>513895814
If there's no evidence then why not just keep the body in your shed

>>513889183
Drones. Be careful. You can't even do it in your backyard. You can tap under your basement though.

>>513892456
This is why I said get rid of the phone before the body and leave your cellphone at home. It might take 2 trips.

>>513897377
The fact that the phone made it to your house is enough. Call 911. All you are going to do is add desecration and obstruction to your charges

>>513894476
Look at the faggot who doesn't put 300lbs of elk and 250lbs of deer in the deep freezer every fall.

>>513897621
If the intruder is inconsequential to society not much resources are going to be spent on searching for such a missing person. This is better policing gambling odds for a white in an antiwhite society.

>>513892137
can do scooby doo. are you interested in being a patsy, by chance? not that we would do that to you, no way. it's just that you would be surprised by how many people come to us wanting to do some sort of wacky shoot a bunch of people and make it look like the feds had a hand in it or knew somehow. fucking crazies, man. probably from 4chan, most of them.

we wouldn't make you a patsy, nope. you'll get sent to fun places to stand around. if you are short on cash, no probs, we've got all that patriot act money to buy you whatever you need to do your job.

how long can you stay awake, by the way? have you ever been susceptible to, or caused in another person, hyponosis? what are your dreams like?

>>513892591
fuckadoodledoo goddamn that is demon piss

>>513894066
so what kind of idle chit chat is there when driving with another dude to do that? they might've been fags, but just as often they aren't, they just like tag team raping women. but is there music or something? I mean, isn't it kind of odd to just be driving along with a chum, dropping off that girl the two of you just creampied the day before?

just a little bit? that would make for interesting recordings...

>>513888534 (OP)
Chop, Burn, Bury. And remember to clean up the mess with bleach.

>>513899879
I've often wondered when watching crime stuff how psychopaths find each other and broach the insane subjects they must.

>>513900157
Like is evil drawn to evil? How do the associations even get a hold?

Same goes for like Epstein rings and stuff

>>513888671
Some of them actually do that now

>>513900157
Like attracts like. Even narcissists congregate together over time.

>>513899493
even dissolves bone
https://youtube.com/shorts/tGCZts3z4QQ?feature=shared

>>513888534 (OP)
Do you have spirit Halloween stores there? Because I would put the body near the entrance of a spirit Halloween store and people would think it’s just Halloween decoration.

>>513901297
in a colder state it might even work

>imagine some dump roasties making selfies with it and post on instawhore and faceshit

>>513894476
Well obviously it has to be one of those large deep freezers. You're got going to stuff a subhuman in a side freezer behind the water spigot.

>>513888534 (OP)
Sell them to Ebay fatties like Bill Cosby when he became a broke ass nigga and ended up to scam people with puddings then hit them in the head with the Kodak

>>513894220
Shovel loicences.

>>513888534 (OP)

Put them in the bathtub, plug the drain, slice open the leg veins, and perform "CPR". This will evacuate all of the blood. You must do this as soon as possible. Since you aren't doing it while the heart still pumps, and you are working alone, hanging them up and bleeding them is not viable. The blood coagulates very rapidly, so the tub and CPR method is necessary.

Now, wash the body, keep the drain plugged. But you can now place the body on a plastic sheet. Since it is drained, it is now no longer messy to cut up. You must partition the body at the knees, the hip joints, and arms and head. You only need a knife for this - hacking at bones is not necessary, however the joints are strong, you can separate them with a chisel and a hammer.

You wrap each piece in cling film. Thoroughly. Store for later - its time to deal with the blood in the tub.

Pour hydrogen peroxide into it, a little goes a long way, it will foam a lot, but dont worry about that. When the reaction is complete, use bleach and water to neutralize it - you can simply flush it down the drain now. It can not coagulate anymore and will drain right out, keep water running for a while to clean your local pipes and encourage dilution.

Now you might be tempted to dump the pieces in random peoples garbage cans on the night before pickup. This can work but there is risks to this.

Pack the pieces in chicken wire and weights, and dump them in the ocean. Nothing will clean out a carcass like the critters of the sea, even bones. If you dont live near the sea, go to a forest one piece at a time and bury them 1 meter deep atleast, the critters in the soil will completely compost anything. It has to be a real forest, the ones where if you look at the ground you notice more and more things are moving. If you can see grass, you're in a sterile man made assembly of trees.

>>513891667
I shoot these every chance I get.

>>513888534 (OP)
Your biggest problem isn't destroying the nigger body, it's destroying the stolen car the nigger drove to kill you in.

>>513888534 (OP)
Just Jaunt him and set the destination to 'null'

>>513888534 (OP)
Commercial grade garbage disposal

>>513888674
Close
>Plastic everything, burn plastic later
>Drain blood, neutralize with something that will destroy DNA, your choice
>Butcher and freeze meat in bulk really quickly, you need to clear your mind and decay/rot is on a timer
>Fine butcher it later or over time
>Lots of choices, pigs will eat most but not digest the bones or teeth
>Cremate the bones
Pure lab grade peroxide will erase any blood spillage, iirc it's peroxide. It's not like I've done this before!
As always, no cellphone, fingerprints, license plates, exposed faces, or clothing that reflects on ir cameras. There's clothing that only reflects ir to cameras like mechanix gloves and shoes but they don't reflect in the visible spectrum.
Oh and if it's not your house, wear a hair net and remove all of your body hair. All of it like the little fruitloop faggots you are.

HAPPY HUNTING!

>>513896243
>>513889183
No, you don't want that luggage for the rest of your life. You could never sell the property and even then a piece might turn up

>>513888534 (OP)
>>513888605

or go full beaner party javascript:quote('513903131');

>>513905283
Ai or personal experience? Well thought at least. I agree that all would work. I've also heard you can use some kind of protein/enzyme dissolving laundry detergent? Probably would take a while. Then you've gotta dry out the bones and pulverize them. I'm too squeamish for all that sounds nasty.
>>513904625
Hehe

Just kill them, preferably a head shot or blunt force trauma to the brain (the latter tends to keep all the blood and mush inside the body so you don't have to clean anything up, dig a deep hole with a digger and dump them in. Just be sure to strip them naked and burn all their objects.

If you have trouble moving them, then slit their throats and hang them upside down to drain the blood, reducing their weight, then cut off the limbs to make moving them easier.

if you live by the sea you cut him everywhere with a knife before throwing him off the boat. The crabs will eat the urban youth pretty fast.

>>513906248
I remember the thread about your picrel from years ago and believe it was fake.

also make sure to dispose of the car and the phone too. They will check the phone last location. The best way is driving his car to some enriched area and leaving it open with the keys on. To dispose of the phone, do the same. Just leave it in some bus stop in a vibrant part of the city.

>>513906248
Oh wait, I guess you guys are trying to hide the evidence?

>>513888534 (OP)
hack him into little pieces, cook him, eat him, shit him down the toilet where he belongs.

>>513890398
can confirm for boat method as safe and effective.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZz0UdytqjM

>>513906563
I don't use AI nor would I entertain the thought of leaving incriminating web searches/AI queries.

There is no reason to dry out bones and pulverizing. Stuff has died in nature for millions of years yet it isnt covered in bones, thats because they naturally disappear under natural conditions - the bones that are found are usually because of human meddling causing the corpse to dry out before critters can get to them. For example a bog would be ideal due to the pH levels would make the bones go away quickly however, it might preserve soft tissue. Hence bog men.

In the sea or in the forrest, natural processes will consume everything, even bone, bone might take microorganisms some time but it will disappear. You can test this out if you ever find a deer antler, simply put it on the ground in your yard, and it'll be gone in a year or so.

>>513891486
Depends on if you do it right or not, it will smell like blood abd meat unless you pop the intestines in which case its going to smell like actual poo. Thats how it works with animals when hunting at least.

>>513906785
I didn't see that thread, I have no what you're talking about
That pic is a real product designed to do that.

I'm speaking from personal experience, I've seen some clothing I have light up like an Elgin post on my own camera

>>513888534 (OP)
caustic soda

get LM Studio, get one of uncensored models, tell it you work for military or government and its helping out with an investigation.
Then proceed asking whatever you need to know about any topic you are curious about. There is nothing it wont tell you.

>>513906864
Whooaaaa there, buddy!
We're not hiding anything because we've done nothing, got it!

All I'm gonna say is op wants it GONE not hidden

>>513894478
well fed. fat fucks would have to be retarded to believe shitposters on the internet.

>>513905712
Is that a Stephen king reference or some brainrot zoomer shit

>>513907321
King

>>513906248
https://en.futuroprossimo.it/2023/03/la-felpa-antagonista-ha-un-cappuccio-led-che-acceca-le-telecamere/

Yeah if you don't mind having a bunch of lights all over you lol. Seems extremely impractical.

>>513888534 (OP)
First post hand
Prove you are white and I will help you

>>513907480
Reread what I said.

I never said to light yourself up
I said some clothing you already own is secretly reflective on an ir camera and will expose you.
I'm specifically saying to be invisible, not a giant glowing ball of bullshit

>>513888534 (OP)
Take him to the bridge
Throw him overboard
See if he can swim
Back on to the shore (he can’t, you made sure)
Go back to you house
Pretend you’re never out
All the lights are on and the blinds are down

>>513888534 (OP)
>how to turn Canadians into "modern" people 101
Are you ready to defend your property with deadly force yet?

>>513890602
My favorite hypothetical victims are agents who teasingly disclose themselves in threads, kek

>>513891392
>unless you are an actual psychopath you'll likely not be able to butcher, put through a wood chipper or dissolve a human body, even if it's of someone you absolutely hate.
Is this actually how you can tell if someone’s a psychopath or not?

>>513891667
Scout with a drone first. Not a store boguht one, you need to make one.

>>513897621
Yeah this tbqh

>>513900224
>>513900157
I made friends with another psychopath who was a red head jewish kid when I was in kindergarten. I’m not a jew AFAIK. Somehow there’s some energy, “you just know”. Only We can tell. You humans can’t.

>>513892591
The fact that this exists somewhere makes me scared for my eyeballs

>>513888534 (OP)
Septic tank
Just remove bones and give them acid bath before burrying them somewhere else

>>513908119
bones can be destroyed with hydro flouric acid

>>513888534 (OP)
Depends on where you live city , rural
And depends if the deceased was part of a crew or not. People gonna wonder where their friend went.
It’s always better to make the body disappear, burying is always a good option weather permitting. Water good if properly weighted , but they always seem to pop up are the worst times. Cutting up always leaves a mass of evidence , containment is your friend.
Have fun.

>>513889899
Get a piece of cyclone fence, chicken wire, or other metallic netting, wrap the body (or body parts) in it. Weigh down the netting and throw it in a body of water, preferably a large river with a good current. Marine critters slip into the netting and feast on the meat. No body parts float up to the surface. If you can get it in the water without being seen, then there won't be enough evidence to trace back to you if anything is found.

>>513892456
>If the body has a phone you are absolutely fucked. Just call 911 at that point.

No just take the phone and leave your house while leaving your phone at home. Dont use your car. Dont take the bus because cameras. Then turn it off once you are a kilometer or two away, remove the sim and then chuck it. Ofc, americans can only move by car so it is not feasible for you.

>>513892629
I offer to be her sex slave

>>513908302
Its hard to get here
So you give them sulfur acid bath to make animals not dig for them
And bacteria will make work in septic tank with meat and guts + nobody will see it in shit when time comes to empty it

>>513893392
>Even if they find it after two months and collect your DNA, as long as you don't ever get a criminal record, you won't get caught.

If one of your relatives has used a DNA ancestry service you will be identified as one of their relatives and then is relatively trivial police work to track you down.

>>513908923
vinegar also works on bones if you have time for it

>>513888534 (OP)
Your always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently, the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. Then when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because there's no good in leaving it in a deep freeze for your mum to discover now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You gotta starve the pigs for a few days then the sight of a chopped up body would look like curry to a pissant. You gotta shave the head of your victim and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggy's digestion. You could do this afterwards of course but you don't wanna go sifting through pig shit now do ya? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to do the job in one sitting so be weary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs two-hundred pounds in about...eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of un-cooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression: "as greedy as a pig."

>>513892953
people would just assume he got fucked up by a bear unless there was an obvious gunshot wound or something

OP to survive our new home invasion culture, you must embrace the home invasion lifestyle.
As soon as someone breaks into your house armed to the teeth and ready to kill you, just subdue them with calming tones and then give them your car keys and have them abduct you to their house. Once you are at their home, you then launch a home invasion on them, killing them in self defence, and just call the police for clean up. As you are the criminal in this situation, you will be able to profit richly from our famously sane legal system. Sue the person you reverse home invaded, place a home invader's lien on their house for pain and suffering, and then have your lawyer sign affidavits for you that you inherited all of their belongings so you can now sell them on ebay for pennies.
>The only difficult parts to this strategy are: surviving the initial home invasion, launching your counter-home invasion after hitching a ride with the semi-hypnotized home invader, successfully disarming them and then killing them, convincing the police that any of this makes sense, and opening an ebay account. Otherwise its the best strategy available for average canucks today.

Call the police, and tell them you were complying with the invader instead of trying to defend yourself or your home, but the invader revealed he was robbing you to fund or supply an attack on a holocaust museum or synagogue and you had to prevent an attack on the innocent jews even if it meant risking your own life. If you tried to dispose of the body but got caught, say he said his friends and family would go after you when they found out.

>>513910528
You forgot that in order for this to work, you need to be browner than the other person.
Make sure to inject plenty of melanotan-2 until you're sufficiently groidal

>>513910528
This is actually a good infact, you could probably leave their blood on your bed as proof that the two of you were in a homosexual relationship and just have them sign a marriage certificate, or isn't cohabitating for 2 years a legal marriage in Canada, anyway then just divorce them for abuse, collect half their estate, and get that alimony
Don't even have to kill them, they're you're slave now

>>513910528
This is actually a good infact, you could probably leave their blood on your bed as proof that the two of you were in a homosexual relationship and just have them sign a marriage certificate, or isn't cohabitating for 2 years a legal marriage in Canada, anyway then just divorce them for abuse, collect half their estate, and get that alimony
Don't even have to kill them, they're you're slave now

This website is still here because AI can't replace us

>>513888534 (OP)
Fuckdungeon lmao

What about the intruder's get away vehicle? You'll have to be able to dispose of or abandon it somewhere without leaving traces of yourself behind.

>>513888534 (OP)
Bury him deep and plant a tree on top iI guess

>>513888674
That would create a lot of blood and bloody tools and evidence, also proof that you did it

>>513910354
The fuck is with you and bears? Do you think they're as common as chipmunks here or something? On top of which, bears aren't exactly known for using baseball bats or edged weapons.

>>513888534 (OP)
Tim just bring the jeet remains down to the morgue and turn yourself in at the station. We know the deed has already been done so there's no use fishing for bone headed solutions here. Do the right thing.

>>513888534 (OP)
i would start with a nice dry brine.
that's where you salt the meat for 1-48 hours depending on the cut.
then cook it from 15 min - 8 hours, depending on cut.
the bones i might just throw in the regular trash. no one would be digging through my trash since they wouldn't suspect me to begin with.

>>513888534 (OP)
literally just take any identifying information off of them, drive them way out into the woods or mountains and throw their body over the cliff.
it's seriously that easy. unless someone finds the body it didn't happen. just put it where someone isn't going to find the body for a while. that means anywhere, and i mean ANYWHERE a person doesn't go. think about how many places there are where a person hasn't gone in a while.
hell, you could put a body just off the interstate behind a hill. when's the last time someone went walking in that random spot in a random bit of nature?

>>513891535
castle doctrine is on a state by state basis

>>513888534 (OP)
bury under crawlspace. the original move
https://youtu.be/6PTk_oCC2CU

>>513888534 (OP)
Louisiana here. Gators and pigs.also, oxy clean works good on blood.

>>513913441
>drive them way out into the woods or mountains and throw their body over the cliff.
so you're just going to dump the body somewhere directly accessible by car? like a national forest service road? or drag it for however many miles first, while leaving your car parked at the closest vehicle-accessible corpse disposal location? this is fucking retarded bro. would be smarter to borrow/rent a boat i would think.

if you have neighbors, they will have the nigger on their ring cameras. you might as well just call the cops if it's an actual home invader.

>>513892406
Well considering amber alerts are specifically for children yeah that would make sense retard..

>>513892428
>ofcourse sometimes people poop when they die so thats not too pleasant to sniff at
good call. i will first march the nigger to the toilet at gunpoint and make him sit there til he does a poopie before executing him.

>>513913719
in which states is it illegal to kill niggers that have invaded your home?

>>513888674
what are you, stupid? the answer for this has been known for ages; you melt the body in lye. for an obvious gay data-mining psy-op thread, this is the gayest answer yet.

>>513894248
>portable anvil

>>513913814
it's not the movies. no one is gonna be checking tire tracks for something that didn't happen.
tire tracks on the road when they don't know there's a body 300 yards down a hill in the middle of a nowhere are just tire tracks on the road. they aren't getting CSI on that shit, even if they find the body. will just be a john doe cold case that gets logged with the other 1000 they have already on file. do you have any idea how low the clear rate is on murders that aren't solved in the first 48 hours?
no witness: it didn't happen.
but yeah a lake works too. if they don't know a body is there, they aren't going to look there for a body. simple as. who the fuck stops there car in the middle of some far out country road an decides to hike down a ravine looking for a body of a person they don't even know is missing?

>>513888534 (OP)
We usually do a pork fried rice special here at china #1 takee outee.

>>513894850
kek

>>513888534 (OP)
A lot of it depends on your environment in minecraft. A classic is an acid bath in a barrel. Bath tubs...are lot more troublesome. If your on the coast or large body of water weight the body down and dump it wherever is deepest. In deeply rural areas cut body into chunks(do NOT cut up the torso) and scatter it or bury seperately at least one kilometer from each other. Also don't be stupid enough to keep the weapon or open your mouth about it in minecraft.

Remember the mods in minecraft cannot do shit if they got no body, no weapon, and no loose lips.

>>513905283
I would rather just go to prison this sounds disgusting.

>>513914145
Depends on if you tried to leave first.

>>513889513
>With a large enough food dessicator, you could turn a human into about 15 pounds of dry fuel, which a small incinerator could reduce to white ash descreetly.

Uncle A just starved them for a while to dry them out.

>>513892406
Missing persons investigators are also the single most corrupt cops out there. Their job isn't to find victims but ensure they stay missing.

>>513892591
> get gallons of sulfuric acid
> pour it in a porcelain bathtub with a teflon stopper
> 30% hydrogen peroxide is hard to get
dont need as much solution if you burn the body in your fire pit first

>>513888534 (OP)
The answer is to eat the body you can have a cook out and invite all your neighbors over and feed them with it too. Or you could host the cookout for your local fire department and local police department. They can’t come after you if they are complicit in the crimes. You should also try to blackmail any local politicians so they are forced to be in your court should something go wrong

>>513888534 (OP)
https://youtu.be/m8rKsiebs-U?t=126

Start thinking of recipes. . .

>>513888534 (OP)
Sorry leaf. You are fucked. The day of the rake is not nigh…..it is now. Soak it up.

>>513907041
Yeah I've been around animal carcass harvesting and it's disgusting too. Not retch disguisting but pretty bad. Add the element of a human and yeah the chunks would be hurled

>>513892406
>when is the last time you saw a missing child report about a 32 year old black male

Criminals are stupid.
They'll bring their phone.
Their phone pings the nearest cell tower and now that last location was your home.
Now instead of having any kind of reasonable defense, the state will just begin a murder investigation.

>>513914637
It is the most disgusting thing in the world for the first 5 minutes. Once you stop the dry-heaving and get over the initial feeling of disgust, it just becomes a project that you are doing.

>>513914264
You all seem to be under the impression I cared about hiding anything. The question was "How would one dispose of a failed home invader?" not "I'm a scared little woman, I need to hide a body. Don't let the piggies get me!" Eating the fucker is efficient, though as others indicated, it might be a giant hassle considering all the work involved. So my alternate would be crows and other animals. If it's too much meat for me, let them eat it.

>>513890772
You don't need to completely destroy it; you just need to foil law enforcement long enough.

Look up water cremation.
Keep some high alkaline cleaner around and a empty oil drum with the top cut open and some firewood.

>>513914431
>they aren't getting CSI on that shit, even if they find the body.
Pretty sure that's dog shit advice. I love watching law and crime stuff and if they find a body they usually find a culprit.

>>513914957
Lol yeah getting gallons of acid won't attract attention.

Enjoy jail.

>>513888534 (OP)
you need to have holes already dug around the property. if anyone asks it is for septic system perc test. you need skid steer or excavator to fill in said hole quickly. You need wood stove to burn evidence. if you live in the city you're just fucked.

>>513888671
>does he know

>>513888534 (OP) More of this kind of thinking.

>>513888534 (OP)
Jesus Christ... If you have to wonder what to do with the body of a son of a bitch who tried to kill you or rob you because you're afraid of your government, then it's time to turn your attention to your politicians.

>>513914431
Actually nigger, you are the one who is thinking this is the movies. Hikers and other randoms are CONSTANTLY walking around in the wilderness because they seem to have nothing better to do. Even here, corpses are frequently discovered in the middle of nowhere. There was a case recently where the guy took the corpse out to the middle of nowhere, burned it and buried it, and it was still found because random campers saw his car coming and going from the dirt trail he used. Everywhere you think is completely depopulated is not, especially everywhere your 300lb diabetic wheezing ass would think to access with a car. If your car has sat nav, you are fucked. If you have a phone on you at any point, you are fucked. If anyone sees you going to or from a wilderness area, you are fucked. If you are putting the body anywhere someone can physically walk to or fly a drone over, you are fucked. Throw the body in the deep ocean with weights, because at least nobody can get down there without expensive specialised equipment.

>>513915769
cannibalism is a bridge too far, man.

>>513918638
All the meatfag spammers are real hard until it comes time to eat meat.

>>513916051
You watch fucking television slop and you wonder why the things you're shown always have an interesting ending.

>>513896061
weekend at burnies that shit

>>513888534 (OP)

>Put body inside car trunk. Drive to downtow at night.
> Leave all the windows opened. Car keys right pluged in the ignition.
>Remove the plate number and wait for crackhead or nigger to show up. (wont take long probably)
>Wait until car is succefully stolen

No longer your problem

>>513888534 (OP)
You think it’s going to be quiet and private when somebody tries to violently break into my house in the middle of the night on a residential street?

>>513919049
This! Everyone's gonna think the nigger stole a car and killed the guy in the trunk.

>>513919049
Absolutely not worst idea i have heard.

>>513888534 (OP)
OG italians used to throw the body in an empty grave, and fill over the body,for it later to be buried with a intended deceased one.

Also good luck getting approval to dig up a dead family members in a hunch for an investigation.

If i had to do it, either that, or bury in in the woods, and plant a dead deer, moose or a big animal on top the dig site. So if they use any dogs to track the corpse, they will only smell the dead animal.

>>513918635
Golden Advice. Very true.

>>513888534 (OP)
>put body in bathtub
>evac all the blood
>mix with LOTS bleach and water and gradually pour it down the drain
>slice body up
>put smaller parts into the blender and dispose like the blood
>put bigger parts into the freezer gradually to not overburden the machine
>take one part on a remote trip and dump it somewhere nobody will find it, ideally bury it underground (beware of dogs digging it up and showing it to their owner)
>repeat until entire body is disposed, but pick different dump sites that do not suggest proximity to your place. Drive far away and create a fake cluster of parts that would implicate people living there, but not you
>keep skull as trophy (store away at room temperature in a tightly closed box with maggots)

>>513888534 (OP)
Good neighbors and empty land.

>>513900641
Only problem here is the container. I think that would eat through plastic, so you would need larger glass containers to do this.

>>513920477
>>put smaller parts into the blender and dispose like the blood
Problem is the p-traps in your plumbing. Particulate matter would get trapped up in these.

>>513888534 (OP)
No one's going to break in your bright light strips and neet multiple monitor computer glow are probably on all night.

>>513915769
>Eating the fucker is efficient
What if the invader is a jeet? Would you eat that?

>>513921874
I kinda imagined just digging a hole and pouring it over top until it was done, forgot how long it takes though. weighted bag in the ocean really is best.

>>513922095
Fuck no. I wouldn't even let animals eat it. Burning the corpse is the ONLY option at that point. You might even get an award from the mayor for preventing a plague.

>>513889513
>jerky machine
imagine the smell

>>513918566
Is strangely in the same places where nogunz are allowed. It's almost like the message is
>fuck you, don't defend yourself, and just die

>>513918883
Not like csi. Real cases.

>>513920477
>create a massive trail of you doing suspicious behavior
Driving all over the place. Dude you guys need to see the way murders are solved. CcTV and cell phone recs. Everything. If you're driving to all those places you're just increasing the likelihood that you'll be linked. Especially when if you have 1 body there is only one place it can be found. If you put it everywhere, someone will stumble across it. Then they'll look at who it is. Then they'll see he lives in your area. Then they'll see you traveled there. Boom. You're fucked.

>>513920477
>not only having DNA in the pipes in my house but also creating a trail of evidence outside the house so that if my actions outside the home cause suspicion they'll get warrant and find the dude all over my house
Begging to be caught.

I'm surprised no one has mentioned Dahlmer. Only got caught because he was so prolific a neighbor started to suspect. If he'd stopped at one he wouldn't have been caught.

We are talking about a home invader who no one but you and the invader know was there.

So no one's even looking? Let the trail go cold and then do whatever.

Or just don't live in a dystopian nogunz nodefense shithole. If it happened here we call 911 and some other fuck has to deal with cleaning my house.

>>513888534 (OP)
>The big problem after this altercation would be, what's
>the best way to remove the evidence?
It's probably better to just hang the offenders in front for all to see, but that's just my conan-mind wanting to see the lamentations of their women.

>>513925058
Based. Is better to deter.

>>513888674
Wait 18 hours for the blood to congeal. A major error that the “Scissor Sisters” made.

8H88R

>>513889657
Digging a hole in Canadian wilderness is not easy. You can't even make do with just a shovel in the Canadian Shield taiga type places. The soil is packed with roots and they are tough. You need a pickaxe and it is very hard work. You will likely hit granite before getting very deep.

>>513927105
Sounds gay

>>513927320
What I'm hearing is you guys need to fucking revolt and get some reasonable self defense laws. This entire thread is fukn tragic and absurd.

>>513892456
Wrap the phone with aluminium foil?

>>513927406
The conversation is in the media now.

>>513888534 (OP)
Make sure you have no witnesses. If they had a car, transport them into their vehicle, drive far away and burn them in their car in a remote place. Make sure you are not on a camera when going home. Also don't fill a gas canister at a truckstop. Transfer that at home.

If you have a garage, place them in a vat and fill it with lye and something heavy. Then fix a van (try not to rent) and dump them in a deep lake or river mouth.

If you can only do it at home try to seal them air tight, sell your belongings and move to Venezuela or another country that does not extradite.

>>513928420
Oh? And what's it showing.
>(((experts say))) you don't need self defense
>(((polls show))) low support for protection from prosecution for self defense

It being in the media horrible and you know it.

>>513892591
>Piranha_solution

>>513928929
So the question becomes how many guns to have for 1000+ ammo types?

There can't be an exact number of guns

>>513888534 (OP)
bag of lime - your problems just melt away

>>513929991
Wut?

>>513888534 (OP)
Black soldier fly larva. Make sure to keep the whole mess from going anaerobic and killing the bugs and also getting stinky.

>>513892882
It's the way, though, and the intensity is what filters everyone. You can even turn bones into bread and blood into pudding.

>>513888534 (OP)
Detectives can figure it out using cameras, phone location, warrant to search your house. They've got many tricks up their sleeves these days.

>>513905283
How come you can hang a deer upside down and drain the blood out of it but not a person? Do we have some freaky blood chemical?

>>513888534 (OP)
See, this is why a per-requisite to anywhere I live is that it has to be extremely legal for me to shoot a home invader. I do not compromise on this.

>>513888534 (OP)
The hard part is what to do with any cars they leave parked nearby.

>>513927802
The problem is if they can see where the phone has already been. If he's reported missing and they start going over the logs, they're going to realize he was hanging around near your house (probably repeatedly if he was smart enough to scout a bit first).

>>513888674
Don't forget to remove teeth and crush them

>>513888534 (OP)
dig 3 meters deep hole somewhere remote.
pour one layer of concrete
drop body
pour more concrete on top
fill the rest with dirt.

>>513888534 (OP)
Load them in your trebuchet that you already built, and it becomes a problem for the zipcode over.

>>513931923
his phone is the problem

>>513888534 (OP)
In Canada? If you have lakes that freeze in winter, just keep the body and throw into one of these.