Thread 513921004

Jesus: "Daddy!!!!!!! DADDY!!!!!!!!!"

Roman centurion: *muttering under breath* "Omg stfu."

Jesus: "DADDY!!!!! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN MEEEE?????!!!"

Roman centurion: "lol wtf."

Jesus: "UH EXCUSE ME ROMANS!!! I'M THIRSTY UP HERE!!!!!"

*Romans kind of just pokerface for a second before one of them laughs and decides to humor the odd request.*

Roman centurion: "Here you go faggot. Hope this shuts you up for a while. Suck on this lol."

*Jesus sucks the sponge full of sour vinegar. His mouth is adept to sucking things so it works out well.*

Jesus: "Ahh that's better. Thanks guys!"

*Time passes.*

*Roman soldiers start gambling over Jesus' robe because it doesn't have any seams.*

Jesus: H-hey excuse me!! Uh, excuse me!!! That's not yours it's mine!!!"

*Romans ignore Jesus.*

Jesus: "This is boring!!!! DAD!!!! DADDY!!!!!!"

Roman centurion: "Fuck this!"

*Roman centurion goes over and spears Jesus in the side. Out gushes water and blood as well as shit and piss, covering the centurion.*

Roman centurion: "OH GODDAMNIT!!!!! WTF!!!! FUCK!!!!!"

Jesus: "OW BITCH THAT FUCKING HURT WTFFFFF!!!! NOW TAKE MY PEEPEE POOPOO!!!"

Roman centurion: "Goddamnit I'm gonna break this asshole's legs!!!"

*Jesus dies before he can.*

Roman centurion: "Goddamn slippery ass Jew."

OP was molested when he was a chold

>>513921004 (OP)
Don’t worry, he had his final fuck as requested

Redditspacing makes this post even more obnoxiously tarded.

>>513921004 (OP)
christ faked his death

>>513921004 (OP)
don’t forget he came back as a zombie with superpowers and then said brb in the gc. last seen online 2025 years ago

>>513921004 (OP)
Can you imagine some boomers think this faggot will make a return in Europe? I say we crucify him again

>4chuds will shit on redditors for their juvenile fedora-tipping and then steal their cringe so they can reheat it and pass it off as their own thing
Is this what saving the west looks like now? I wasn't paying attention for... about the past decade or so

>>513921004 (OP)
Basically some guy, that drinks human blood; and they doing adrenaline.

>>513921004 (OP)
Christ is King and you'll always be a subhuman savage.

>>513921004 (OP)
Kek

>>513922419
just two more millennia

>>513921882
sharlman

>>513921004 (OP)
there was no resurrection
they ate him
and they still do eat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FYtNQ8izM0
under the vatican

>>513921004 (OP)
kek these basedjesus pastas are good. is there one for jesus being arrested sith a naked kid in the park?

>>513922419
Hello sir what does Rex iudaeorum mean?

>Now the centurion and they that were with him watching Jesus, having seen the earthquake, and the things that were done, were sore afraid, saying: Indeed this was the Son of God.
Matthew 27:54

>>513922346
>Is this what saving the west looks like now
Lol
>past decade
4channers have become terminally poisoned by their own irony and become consumed by despair when they realized they won't become gates-, thiel-, musk- or Zuckerberg-tier gorillionaires with shitty php/Javascript clones of whatever bullshit ui/ux website/app mashup they tried to make since 2003 or 2007 until 2015, or when they missed out on crypto going mainstream in 2021 and scamming the normies they pretend to hate but secretly envy.
They are like half-crazed, half-retarded hippie burnouts in the late 80s retiring to the emerald triangle, eking out a living in clapped-out rvs growing weed from the seeds they picked out of their blunts, dodging cops and the dea, secretly hating all the squares that escaped their self-destructive culture that the cia niggers sold them.

Romans killed Jesus.

OP is 13 years old and going through a dark and edgy phase.

>>513923126
>t. I need Jewish fairytale for muh feefees

>>513921004 (OP)
you left out the part where the centurion realized they crucified the messiah and converted to Christianity

>>513922977
all of the shit threads are bad actors aka Jews or their slaves.

>>513921004 (OP)
>Jesus sucks the sponge full of sour vinegar

You know what that was, right? They used to use a sponge on a stick to wipe their asses. The sponge was full of piss.

>>513923439
Weird fetish you got there rabbi

>>513923439
Why the fuck would you prompt something like that? You are an incredibly gay person.

>>513924858
To get retards like you to reply, obviously. Have you been here for 5 minutes?

Rome was conquered twice by christiainty, first by the spread of the religion, then second by christian germans.

>>513922696
>Anti-Christian did not read the sources
Many such cases

He respawns later because of bad lag

>>513921004 (OP)
Lmao

>jesus: "IM GOD YOU CANT JUST SPEAR M- AACK!"
>Roman: "uh, if you're god cant you just get yourself down?"
>jesus: "I-IT DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT OMGGG DUHHH!! DADDY FORGIVE THEM!"
>Roman: "wtf.."

(((Christ))) is King! of licking nigger feet

>>513921004 (OP)
jewish shills are becoming increasingly unhinged is this the power of gaza?