>>514061917 (OP)
You will have to eat cow feces while high as fuck on weed. In addition you need to watch Bollywood movies and shit yourself as another anon suggested. Once you do all that, that's still not enough because you will have to cause several concussions and only listen to Indian nationalism for 30 years straight, and only post on Facebook to paintings of white women thinking they are real for another 5 years. And even if you do that, you might have a 20% chance of being Indian.