>>518654720 (OP)
My fellow patriots and fellow criminals, listen up. It's time to acknowledge the genius of our beloved leader, Donald J. Trump. You see, while the rest of the world may see him as a bumbling idiot, I see him as a criminal mastermind, one step ahead of the game just like us.
Let's start with his tax returns. The man is a genius for not releasing them. Why should he? We don't show our loot to the cops, so why should he show his? It's all about keeping your cards close to your chest, and Trump knows this better than anyone. And let's talk about his shady business dealings. The man has fleeced scummy investors, screwed over contractors who deserved it, and bankrupted multiple companies, and yet he still manages to stay one step ahead of the law. That's the kind of criminal ingenuity I can respect. He's like the Robin Hood of white-collar crime. And don't even get me started on his presidential pardons. The man was like a modern-day Al Capone, last time, doling out pardons to his cronies left and right. It's like he was running his own criminal empire from the Oval Office, and I for one am in awe of his audacity.
So, fellow shoplifters, let's not be fooled by the media's portrayal of Trump as an incompetent, nigger like, buffoon. He's a criminal genius, and we should all be taking notes. After all, who better to learn from than a man who has spent his entire life staying one step ahead of the law? Long live President Trump, the king of the criminal underworld!