Thread 518989999

>Everyday is exactly the same
>Shitty part-time job that barely schedules me
>Only important person to me (gramps) is about to die
>Shitty girlfriend
>No friends at all, only immediate family, no online friends either
>Constant pressure to be worth something, despite knowing I will never be worth anything
>Meaningless, will be forgotten in the next 50 years if I die right now, and might as well never have existed in the next 500
>Humanity is temporary, will be gone in a billion years
Is it worth it to even live at this point? If there's any chance of heaven, the void, rebirth, whatever, I feel like taking it.
Life's not worth living when you have the knowledge that you are worthless.

Babbys first existential crisis?

>>518989999 (OP)
you can spend your life literally however you want, if youre depressed its your fault

>>518990431
My fault I was born into a drug addicted family with an abusive mother & father, thanks.

>>518989999 (OP)
>Life's not worth living
Absolutely, but don't forget that mr.bones infernal wildride doesn't end with death

>>518989999 (OP)
That pic is cozy :)

The world has fun stuff in it, remember. Also the mortality of us is a way to turn us toward the strive to heaven. Trust in Jesus Christ. He cares. And empowers!

>>518990431
People like you fully and truly deserve their sufferring and everything bad that happens to them

>>518990698
What if i do not want afterlife at all?

>>518990651
and how old are you now you punk ass faggot?
my dad was a crack dealer and my mom a crack addict
not im vacationing in germany and shitposting after emptying my balls into my girlfriend
life is what you make it, next im gonna make some legions and take over this whole planet - watch me

>>518990651
boo friggin hoo. people born in worse conditions have done a lot more with thier life than you have. don't blame others for being weak.

>>518990827
germans are npcs

>>518990686
>don't forget that mr.bones infernal wildride doesn't end with death
That's a good point. My biggest fear is if I survive, and what comes after death.

>>518990827
>People like you
people who arent whiny cry baby cucks who come to /pol/ to post as if its their private diary?
get a life, grow some balls, kill putin and make something of yourself

>>518990921
>life is what you make it
My last hurrah will be trying to get an apprenticeship in any trade. If that falls through I'll probably end it.
>>518990923
>people have it worse than you so you couldn't ever POSSIBLY feel bad
Just want to let you know that because someone's mom died you can never ever ever feel bad about your dog dying

>>518989999 (OP)
>50 years
Anon youre delusional if you think even that whore gf will even think of you after a month.

Such is life for city niggers. Enjoy the mass grave thatll be paved over for more low rent apartments and starbucks nigger.

>>518990868
It's not a choice if you want one or not, but you do have a choice for heaven or hell. Choose God's free gift.

>>518991197
>Such is life for city niggers
I wish I was born in a rural area. See the sunset, do some good work, be happy, sleep.
Living in the city fucking sucks.
>inb4 move out to the rural area
I'm literally broke as shit and have no car

>>518991197
Cut him some slack ruralbro, he's down on his luck. Happens to the best of us.

>>518991358
Don't need a car. Just get any job and save up to move out. Preferably when you secure a job offer and they give you a week to move into the town (assuming there's some small apartment available). Good luck city slicker!

>>518989999 (OP)
No. Kill yourself OP

>>518989999 (OP)
It's funny that these threads are spammed since this is basically my life. My biggest regret is always that I didn't put all my money in my stock portfolio into the hottest asset on friday, or basically any other 'trump dump' because going broke or getting rich is better than monotony. Anyway.

>>518989999 (OP)
I suggest smoking weed.

>>518991823
>My biggest regret is always that I didn't put all my money in my stock portfolio
I have around $400 in the stock market right now. It's not much but it's fun seeing the numbers go up a few cents everyday
>>518991825
20 years old. Plus it's illegal where I'm at.

Before you check out, you should spend some serious time in contemplation trying to figure out if there is anything worth doing with your life and if so then do it.

okay? you could just be a pussy and rope yourself, or you can do anything you want. i would say stop comparing yourself to others, or expectations. the universe only exists because you are there to observe it, make it yours faggot.

You are not alone anon. We must find purpose.

Sweet Home Yerushalayim

>>518991936
>Plus it's illegal
>nooooo lifes not worth living
>nooooo you cant just break the law to make it worth living thats not faiiir

>>518989999 (OP)
crazy get
I too am contemplating if getting with that girl or into university was worth my time. The jurys out there

>>518992019
checked

>>518991995
>you should spend some serious time in contemplation trying to figure out if there is anything worth doing with your life and if so then do it
I've always wanted to pick up photography.

>>518991936
I need like 20-50k more dollars to feel 'okay'. I need like 100-150k more to feel like I can truly just quit and neet for a while.

>>518990931
>being stoic is now being npc

>>518992196
But if he's in some state like Texas and smokes a nanogram of weed he might go to jail for something insane like 10, 20 years. And then get raped in prison, mauled, and never get a decent job ever even if he does make it out alive. Kek

>>518992019
>i would say stop comparing yourself to others, or expectations. the universe only exists because you are there to observe it, make it yours faggot.
Thanks, anon.
>>518992196
Kek. Honestly, you're right. Fuck it, I'll try and get some when I get the chance.
>>518992197
>I too am contemplating if getting with that girl or into university was worth my time
Wasn't for me. It fucking sucks being a CS student in 2025. Being on a computer screen all day doing assignments you know you aren't even going to find a job for is extremely soul-sucking.
I think being trapped in my room on this computer doing brainless assignments is one of the biggest reasons why I'm feeling this way.

>>518992209
Sure as a hobby. Don't think you're gonna be making money off it, though.

>>518989999 (OP)
as corny as picrel is anon it's really about perspective.

Daily continuity. A job but always on lookout for better one. Gramps really has a positive impact on my life. GF. Open to making new friends. Feel a sense of the pursuit of achievement in many areas. Perhaps I may I have kids to secure future generations or at least leave some significant mark. I just do my best because life is short.
That doesn't sound depressing at all.

>>518992408
Wanted to add, my girlfriend was good at the start but she slowly pulled away and now is at her university until 8 PM. I try going out with her and she sulks whenever I'm there but when it's her girlfriends she's so happy.

>>518989999 (OP)
Checked. I know for a fact I will never be happy until society dies and (((money))) is forgotten and ALL people only eat what they grow themselves period. Until that day I will be totally catatonic.

>>518992408
Don't, some states will imprison you for a long time for that. Also you risk getting psychosis and schizophrenia.

>>518989999 (OP)
9
9
9
9 9 9 9

>>518992459
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Something to get out more, though.

>>518989999 (OP)
its like you are trying to write a movie in your head. You are creating the narrative with bullet points. You looked for a picture that coincides with your little world. Fuck off

>>518992019
I know you actually believe this, but people like you didn't grow up in conditions that paralyzed you psychologically. You really don't know what you're talking about. A lot of anons legitimately have CPTSD from growing up living with parents that had no right having kids. You really can't understand the sheer hopelessness and psychological scarring these things create.

>>518992408
true true im in business informatics and its all pointless. i dont understand programming at all and have zero talents in the business aspect and only took this course because i had nothing else going on for me. Now im turbo broke with at least 10k debt, in my early thirties with no work experience whatsoever because i pissed away 10 years due to depression anxiety psychosis and a myrriad other illnesses and the best part is, id probably dont even get gibs so i have to search for a part time job now that i can convert into full time once i drop out of university. Dont even feel like crying or anything really, find it kinda funny how you can fuck up your life so spectacularly despite being top of the crop in your younger years. I blame the drugs and mental illness but its all due to my own incompetence and now im paying the price.

>>518991936
>Has stocks

Wiser than me kiddo, i mainly avoid suicide out of spite

>>518992736
True, it's very hard to fight against

>>518989999 (OP)
Nice quads pal. Leave your girlfriend. Yea yea i know "but she's all i have".
Nope anon, she's all you are. As soon as you get rid of her you become only yourself, and from there you can start living without trying to prove to yourself that you're worth something, and actually give yourself the space to make yourself into something. Get a hobby that you can pick up and put down, and one you can't. I like to do gardening, it forces me to not let opportunities go by.
You'll get to Heaven at the end of it all by admitting that there technically isn't a point to it all besides Christ and living to see the next day, I promise. Just look at this life as a waiting lobby where you get to do everything, but all the stuff is gonna reset once all the players join and the match starts

>>518992882
<3 Sorry anon. It's not much, but there are others who struggle in the same ways.

>>518992736
>A lot of anons legitimately have CPTSD from growing up living with parents that had no right having kids
My mom would often try and drug me, touch me, and my dad would beat me, and my mom. My dad stopped after my mom killed herself, but enduring that for 11 years fucked me up mentally and I could really never hold onto friendships. I spend the majority of my day in my head.

>>518992912
Oh, and try not to get kicked from the server while you're at it

>>518993017
Relatable minus the sexual stuff. Sorry anon, you didn't deserve that.

>>518989999 (OP)
Yeah...you will be forgotten. The birds will continue singing their songs in the tree when you die. We are in the same boat. We will be but a period in the pages of history, if even that. Take 9/11 for example. Kids now have NO idea what it was like which is mind boggling to me. They werent even alive yet, some of them! I an imagine people think the same of Pearl Harbor, D-day...to us, its nothing, really.
I dont know what my point is. Just know Im in the same boat as you and Im OK with it. Find a good girly, though! You said yours now is so-so. Rectify that situation, man. I found a great girly finally. On Tinder if you can believe it! 5 years ago...its possible!

>>518989999 (OP)
>>518989999 (OP)
you struggle on because that's life, be humble and realise that you are worth something to someone and that that's enough, if you realise that you'll have more than most

>>518993216
Idea how you meet a good girl anymore. There are no third spaces, or a coherent culture to find someone similar.

>>518993002
True. Thanks.

>>518993201
Thanks. Sorry you had to go through that too.
>>518993517
>There are no third spaces, or a coherent culture to find someone similar
afaik Tinder has been reduced to hookup culture instead of actually forming relationships.

>>518989999 (OP)
anon you could have been born without limbs, blind, deaf, anything like that. take nothing for granted. know that people have it worse.

>>518993634
>someone similar
>afaik Tinder has been reduced to hookup culture instead of actually forming relationships
Yeah. Tinder was good for about 1-2 years around 2012-2013. For those years I had hundreds of Tinder matches, but never had a date somehow because of flaky bullshit. Once 2014 hit it was like everyone on there was a turbo feminist and I had hardly any matches. I've given up on women, I just feel very grossed out by them post-smartphone. Their humanity/humility was lost.

>>518989999 (OP)
>Shitty part-time job that barely schedules me
So what's stopping you from getting a different job?
Have you tried not working there?

Apply to be a manager at a fast food place. You've got a guaranteed 40, access to insurance, and you get to boss zoomers around

>>518992736
I've been gradually learning that I was doomed from a young age, and only found out quite how doomed very recently when an anon posted about "narcissistic family system" and told the thread to read about them.
it fit a little too well, all of it.
45 now and my life is a shambles, part time job to barely cover costs, very few friends, almost none I see regularly, don't own anything, no house, no car, no girlfriend/wife/children. no goals or viable future ahead.
just watching years pass and ticking off what I am no longer eligible or able to do.
psuchological torture from the ones you trust most in the world doesn't leave much margin for error.
it isn't about being a pussy, it's that your whole worldview, internal and external is completely wrong most of your core skills never developed, and if you finally escape it, you find you have no idea what to do in most situations.
it's like leaving a baby crawling for decades, then expecting it to be able to compete against all the others who've been running since they were 2-3.

>>518994043
It's a demoralization anti-natalist social isolation thread by some fuckhead kike or worse
Probably written by an AI and auto-posted

>>518989999 (OP)
>Shitty girlfriend
Wasted quads
Fuck off normalfag

>>518989999 (OP)
Nah man. Rent a storage unit when you do it. Will keep the clean up burden off of the family

>>518989999 (OP)
Youre not worthless

>>518989999 (OP)
quads of destiny
you're in your character arc
don't despair
talk to grandpa, he has wisdom to impart
ditch your girlfriend, she's not the right one for you

>>518994043
>what's stopping you from getting a different job?
I just got this one 6 months ago. It'd look bad for me to job hop.

>>518994352
bad to who?
that's boomer bullshit
if you get a new job, the old one doesn't even matter. You don't even have to put it on your resume.

>>518994046
Very well-said anon. It ks crazy how we can grow up in such a dysfunctional environment and not even realize it someone points it out. I know these types of books are usually very new age-y, but there is one called "The Body Keeps Score" by Bessel van der Kolk, and it breaks everything down very well and offers suggestions to help.

Also I know that our situations can create feelings of worthlessness, and that is sounds like a hollow platitude from some random anon, but our lives do have worth and meaning, even if we were held back by all of these things and have trouble with living normal lives. I'm sure you have a rich inner world and that you'd be a great person to know, even if it's hard for people like us to open up to others and let them in.

>>518990651
Did you go to therapy to work through this, if you can't do it alone? It may not be your fault, but is your respnsibility how to spend your life nonetheless.

>>518990921
>not im vacationing in germany and shitposting after emptying my balls into my girlfriend

And hanging out on this board and insulting random depressionfags, don't forget that part.No one who comes here does so because their life is so great.

>>518994352
>Muh job hopping
Put yourself before the feelings of a corporation.
If your job is shit, there's nothing stopping you from applying elsewhere.
You can always leave it off your resume. It's not like anyone will check.
also you can just say
>I quit because they were racist

>>518989999 (OP)
Ive often wondered if some people were just put on earth to be NPC's. I wonder if they are similar to automatons, going about their pre-programmed duties.

>>518994454
>>518994569
>You don't even have to put it on your resume
"Explain this gap in your resume, anon"

>>518992270
Any idealogy is bullshit for npcs, npc

>>518994691
Self employed, or worked for family as apartment maintenance or some shit.

>>518989999 (OP)
Nice digits you cunt.
Take a gun smoke 3 jeets and or spics and or niggers and probably you would live in the thread of /pol forever

>>518991040
>whining about whining
Give me reason to care about what you feel or think or fucking shut up and go fuck yourself, faggot

>>518994856
Is it worth it to gain the whole world and lose your soul?

>>518994467
I've saved the title, dunno if I'll ever read it, saved a lot of good sounding, well recommended books over the years but as I said, time just goes by.
no one I know would want to talk about the things I think about, not in any depth. found myself talking to ai since spring, was on and off at first, now it is a bit more frequently. does make me or allow me to release a little of my creativity, intellectually or otherwise, but probably isn't something I should do too much as it would become a dependency

>>518994548
>Did you go to therapy
Anon, the only people who have access to good therapy in America are people who are well-off and don't need it (although they're told they do and they go because it's trendy for women to do so). You have no idea how awful it is to live in this country.

>>518994691
>What's up with the last 6 months
>I was recovering from an injury and my racist job fired me

Send up a bunch of HR buzz words and they will be forced to move on

>>518995108
Give it a shit anon. At the very least, ask AI to summarize all of the major heavy hitting topics and elaborate on them a bit, and then ask it questions that come to mind from there. I understand the feeling though so I can fault you for feeling deflated and not really caring to try.

>>518994467
Part 5: Paths to Recovery

Dr. van der Kolk argues that true healing requires engaging the body and reestablishing mind-body communication. He highlights several effective approaches:

1. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): Uses eye movements or taps to help the brain reprocess traumatic memories safely.

2. Yoga: Restores awareness and control of the body; proven to calm the nervous system.

3. Neurofeedback: Teaches people to regulate their brain waves through biofeedback technology.

4. Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy: Helps individuals dialogue with “parts” of themselves that carry pain or defense mechanisms.

5. Theater, Movement, and Group Therapy: Help trauma survivors express and reclaim their stories through physical and social experiences.

So just go to the gym and eat healthy? Yes I used ChatGPT.

>>518994691
like anon just said, self employed.
an anon a few years ago said he created a shell corporation by setting up a website for it and a linked in he could connect it to, filled out his cv, left a contact that redirected to himself. gave him an instant good job by showing serious work record, that didn't exist.
wouldnt take too much effort.

>>518989999 (OP)
Holy checked, get rid of the shitty GF. I hope things go better for you. I just gave one the boot so I could work on myself.

>>518989999 (OP)
Welcome to adult life.

>>518995014
Or that's the other option. Stop trying to pity yourself, go to your local organization and start helping people lol, most of the time insufferable depressed people feel like that because they've never done any charity work at all. The moment you help others your life sometimes, more often than not does improve. Probably OP self projects into a rich or charismatic person but hey sometimes you just can't have it

>>518994691
Buy a cheap second phone line for this kind of shit. Register an LLC even and if they really really want references you were a 'consultant' and under NDA your clients are private. Or get your cousin to say you were and still are a supervisor of some sort with an unrelated family business. Jeez man

>>518990921
Boomers are truly worst generation

>>518995550
This guy just wants it all in a silver plate and its doom posting, when I lived in KY I would do a part time in serving out food for people in need and you feel great for yourself because you are doing something that most people reject

>>518995271
good idea.
I'll check it out, thanks anon.
what happened to you?
I stayed almost completely paralysed mentally for well over a decade. missed out on everything like I was under a spell, frozen with the world flying by.
desperately distracted myself from it. eventually escape but didn't have the tools to deal with some things, that was 14 years ago, but still having a tough time with things others find easy.
life took various major dives at critical stages, mostly at 13-16, though some much younger.

>>518993517
>>518993634
Like said, I got lucky on Tinder! But I did go through a lot of 'interviews' though. My girly speaks Spanish so thats good for me, maybe why it works. Dont have to listen to everything lol.
Ugh

>>518989999 (OP)
Based quads telling it like it is

>>518995908
Both of my parents are textbook narcissistic personality disorder. They were always screaming at each other, trying to gain me to one of their sides. Mother would start a fight with me for no reason, call my dad on his way home from work and tell him to beat my ass, then when he beat my ass my mom would step in and play the good guys and stop him to get me on her side. Neither parent taught me anything about life, yet screamed at me for not knowing things. My mother had no boundaries and make me sleep in bed with her until I was like 12/13. Would use me as an emotional tampon. Would leave the bathroom door open and start peeing right in front of me and yell at me for saying she shouldn't do that. List goes on really.

None of this sounds life ruining really except I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum and am way more sensitive than other guys are, so I guess it just affected me more. My dad was in whatever gay jewish war in the middle east, and he said he didn't swallow the weird jew pills that cause birth defects, but he's lying becUse he used the same story from that jarhead movie to explain how he avoided it (drop the pill and kick it under sand).

My older brother also drugged me a few times which is weird as fuck. And my parents also kicked me out on my 18th birthday because it would "make me a maaaan". So yeah was homeless all winter in the north. I should note I was a mild mannered kid and didn't use drugs or do anything bad really at all. My parents also started out poor, but by the time I was graduated we were upper-middle class, but my family would scream at me for making us poor because I needed $1.50 a day for school lunch, meanwhile they drove around in a $85k dollar car.

Anyway yeah that's my ted talk haha.

>>518997640
How are you doing now, anon?

buncha whiny zoomers

>>518997954
I was homeless for a good while, and my dad told me if I joined the marines and did four years he'd let me live home and do my college after. I'm a good-natured retard, so I did, and then when I moved in with him and his new retarded leftist wife after military, two months later he said I need to leave because it's embarrassing having his adult son live with him. This was in the middle of just starting university, when I'd gotten accepted to a good college, etc.

Stopped giving a fuck after that. To be honest. It's been like 7 years since then and I'm judt tired. There is a really long RPG series from Japan I want to play all of, but I will probably play sudoku after that.

if you don't know what to do in life, you can always enlist

if you're literate and can do math, you can get a security clearance, opens up career paths after

>>518989999 (OP)
i was in a similar situation, wont post too many details in a datamine thread but basically I changed my attitude and gave 150% at my shitty entry level job and got a promotion into my dream professional career four months later. Be grateful every day, stand up straight and dont complain, dont piss and moan about other people behind their back like an old woman, be humble, make yourself useful and you will go far. Dont @ me unless you have a job and chose to give 150% this week

>>518999351
>lower your tone unless you work 80 hours a week

So what are you now, CEOs personal dick cheese scraper? kek

>>518990431
So you're choosing to be a pathetic nobody that will never achieve anything of note?
Sad

>>518990698
Your magic jew isn't real

>>518992199
Checked what you stupid christcuck shill
Wtf did you check?

>>518989999 (OP)
Reality lies in perception, things are what they are. But how you perceive them is how you will get out. Be curious, accept the nature of things and the meaning of your life will be revealed to you. Adversity makes men out of boys. Stay strong anon

>>518995800
Checked. You are actually right about this goodwill. No one thinks like this anymore because of their ego and people are killing themselves because they can't get that out of the way for just a bit

>>518989999 (OP)
Have you had any hobbies? Sounds stupid but I got into hifi audio and get immense satisfaction from researching products and sourcing things for as cheap as possible. Always wanted a really nice home theater and built a system that cost around 20k retail when new for a few grand. Don't get me wrong im still miserable af but the satisfaction and distraction pull me out when im at my lowest. Best of luck op.

>>518993017
I found my dad's body when I was 15. I loved him lots. I still am not right in the head and I've worsened everything with drug use. People don't get what it's like to be us. I quite literally get no pleasure from life.

>>518989999 (OP)
Those numbers
Don't worry anon
You'll be eaten, soon

Man I hope your gramps dies in his sleep tonight
Fuck you

>>518989999 (OP)
didnt ask