Thread 520453091

are you guys prepared for what's coming?

Somebody’s trolling somebody

>>520453091 (OP)
yes

this is where the fun begins

>>520453091 (OP)
Half of them won't get there in time anyway

I'm always prepared, because nothing will ever happen

>>520453091 (OP)
Bunkers? Yea, kinda. Not with flaming moats but we did have rapid fire mine throwers and machine guns amd layered kill zones. They're partly re equipped, its not as impressive as it used to be tho.

Over 100% of population in nuclear shelter capacity too. Doesn't solve everything but again its a start.

Where ate you guys at?

>>520453091 (OP)
I want nothing to do with those rich kid bunkers, but I will assist in making sure they have plenty of fresh water to drink and shower in.

>>520453091 (OP)
*KKKSSSSSSSSSHHHHHH*
*casually walks in*

>>520453091 (OP)
Cool. Lets get the blueprints, design principles, and best practices for their construction and layout now, while we can, so when we storm their compounds we will know exactly how to defeat them.
Thanks for the heads up.

hear me out:
fire resistant alligators

Cant you defeat a fire moat with just literal dirt? A crew of people can shovel dirt onto that. bam, no more fire.

>>520453091 (OP)
How do they prevent their staff from rising up and taking all their shit

>>520453262
wow, that image is really awesome thank you for sharing it

>>520453270
u have to always prepare for a freak accident because
it is low in possibility but could end your whole fucking life

>>520453203
>this is where the fun begins
>*Dies*

>>520453713
explosive collars, apparently

>>520453713
Their staff are all underage female breeding slaves. They don't have the mental capacity to rise up.

>>520453530
probably where the cannon part comes in
i doubt they're dumb enough to run logistics above ground so there's a high probability of there being an underground passage way to deliver goods. i don't see any way to run power there without resorting to wiring being underground and generators only last so long without a constant source of fuel.

a group of autistic people with nothing to lose would dismantle that place in under a week

>>520453091 (OP)

I'm coming in your moms asshole. Are you prepared OP?

>>520453713
Ai robot servants, or their family will do shifts, or this >>520454370
I wouldnt worry to much though about billionaire compounds, im sure their defenses are laughable at best and mildly inconvenient at worst

>>520453091 (OP)
If I have learned anything from my time in multiplayer survival games, it is that huge bases get swarmed immediately and any protection measures only delay the inevitable. I don't care what skynet bullshit you have, when humans are desperate they are worse than rats, they will find a way through anything. The bases that survive are small simple shelters that are off the beaten path (a moderate degree of challenge to reach the general vicinity of).

>*triggers the fire moat*
>*zuckerberg immediately dies in his sleep from the lack of oxygen*
nothing personel kid

>>520454882
Rust niggas will inherit the earth

>>520455134
kek my first thought when i saw ops image was 2 guys flying right over the fire moat with a mini.

>>520454882
DEWs nigga. DEWs. And there are enough retards among us ready and along to mow us down at the drop of a hat

>>520455368
when you thought you couldnt get more black pilled, anon reminds you of the reality
ty anon

>>520453091 (OP)
Good thing bullets don't fly over moats and sand/dirt can't put out fire.

>>520453091 (OP)
all of these useless in the age of of drones

>>520454370
Sounds like the ideal. I think most sustainable method would be having a fallout type AI that oversees vault and keeps them alive and breeding. Then have there be some program where the most talented young women are sent to a top secret area which is just introducing them as new staff for however long. Then when the billionaire founder is dead or close to dead the sons from the slaves would fight for control to be the new ruler. Basically a medieval kingdom minus the peasants in the fields. Except the knights are replaced by AI and maid slaves.

>>520453091 (OP)
The year is 3333.

>Gaben, through a series of life extension technologies and biological engineering programs has become a cyborg eldritch abomination that also feeds on the living and dead alike.

>He feeds his imagination off the tears of interns hooked up to his STEAM incorporated imaginatron matrix and has established a citadel on a long forgotten Santa Cruz Mountain.

>The world has long since gone back and fourth from ruin.

>Wars have been waged. Loves have been lost. Yet Valve remains a steadfast fortress of absolute solitude.

>The Cult of Gabe. Formed mostly from autists of /v/ who have pilgrimaged from far and wide to worship him are circling their markings.

>The Cult speaks only in binary code. They only use two numbers. One and zero.

>Slowly circling the mountain each day in a three pattern. Mercilessly whipping themselves for even daring to think about the number.

>Rumors have it that one is selected each year for the sacrifice upon the mountain in an attempt to appease their Lords apparent displeasure, having never released a third game.

>The citadel suddenly lights up. Fire works are firing out of it as a massive screen shoots up from its center like The Eye of Sauron.

>Holding their breath they turn to this behemoth. Their worn and broken expressions warmed by the new and unknown feeling of light from the giant monitor.

>It is him. Gaben. They all stare dumbfounded and silently in awe.

>A fire work blasts out from down the center and erupts into a massive red 3 in the heavens above.

>Gaben opens his mouth to speak.

"Three...uh...three..." he calmly exclaims.

>>520453091 (OP)
>The mountains erupt into screams of joy.

>Some rip out their eyeballs in sheer disbelief. An orgy of violence and the latter across the land.

>Nothing is safe.

>The restrained libido of the cult causes everything from sheep to dakimakura to be taken in the ecstasy.

>The Cult Leader immediately drives a knife into himself as he commits Sudoku upon the mountain, having brought his sheep to the promised land yet being unworthy of it himself.

>Gaben checks his microphone for a few seconds before rummaging for something in the back room.

"Uh three...uh...three..."

>The entire landscape is filled with the roaring of three in tumultuous gatherings. They randomly carve it into their flesh and brand themselves in the forehead.

>Some even begin scratching three into the ground with sticks.

>Arranging the newly deceased bodies and items in patterns and arrangements of three throughout the land, now visible from helicopter.

>The skies blacken as three nuclear warheads are detonated high above the mountain range, short circuiting all electronics except The Citadel and all cult members loyal enough to electromagnetic-pulse block their electronics.

>The screams...good God...The screams...

>The Cultists rush the gates of the citadel.

>Beginning to organize themselves into groups of three in attempts to cross the newly made compound LAVA MOAT between themselves and assumed salvation.

>The screams have all died down to a steady paced chanting.

>>520453270
Always nice to see another master

>>520455062
Zuckerberg is a fucking moron anyway, he build his doomsday Bunker on top of a Volcano lmao.
and during the upcoming Micronova this is going one of the worst places to be in.
instead of trying to get into his Bunker it would be smarter to grab a Boat and GTFO from the islands.
you better know how to navigate without GPS tho or you are gigafucked but yea overall Hawaii is a terrible location for a Bunker.

>>520453091 (OP)
>"Three!...Three!...Three!" is murmured for miles and miles around. Like a Convergence Event.

>The Citadel projects Lord Gaben into The Clouds.

>A massive three is displayed in the half life font.

>The crowds scream in unison at it.

>Some begin eating children.

>He shows no signs of finding what he is looking for on screen. Rummaging can be heard.

>A catapult is built. Humans are the ammunition.

>Many have already fallen into the moat and some into the lava.

>They are viciously torn apart by piranhas, crocodiles and sharks.

>On the other side, valve employees, all dressed in metro police uniforms from the Half Life series eye the group of bodies catapulted to their side. Kicking it into the lava moat.

>They can hardly keep up. The body pile has caused a miracle.

>Dampening the landing of some of the cultists, the pile of bodies has allowed them a mad rush at the guards.

>They are quickly put down by the stun sticks and promptly thrown into the moat.

>Some are harvested for Lord Gaben.

"Three!" He exclaims, having finally found what he was looking for.

>>520453091 (OP)
Is that a river of flames?

Classified as outdoor grill in the blueprints

>>520453091 (OP)
>ammunition finite
>ammo run out
>dig dyke to moat
>drain
>kill rich

>>520453262
They will if they are the ones that scheduled the happening in the first place.

>>520453091 (OP)
The catapulting stops. The crowds have gone silent. The final announcement is imminent.

>Those drowning, the last thing they see is the massive half life three and font projected into the sky. Closing their eyes, dying in disappointment albeit relieved.

"Three thousand years ago. I bet no-one would have believed that we would have a PC..." He places all of the previously released Valve software CDs on the table.

>Displaying them all to the starved and bloodied masses outside.

"Now...I am happy to announce the release of our third steam OS. Bundled together with a copy of our very own Half Life 2. 3D Edition."

>The crowds remain silent...

>Some quietly throw themselves off the edge. Loosing all hope.

>Others merely convulse on the floor, stabbing their body relentlessly.

>A few lucky ones...shoot their own head with what little ammunition they can find...

"This has been me. Gaben. A thank you for your time. You have been a wonderful fan base."

>The screen turns to black.

>The world stands still for some. For others, too fast.

>God weeps, angels then cry. The peoples wails and weeps can be heard for miles around.

>The citadel lights shut off as a beam of what seems to be a laser fires from the ground into the sky. Almost too silently.

A massive explosion parts the clouds. Dumbfounded the people sit and stare in awe as sphere of energy forms above.

A portal breaks the very fabric of space and time.

A Combine drop ship emerges. A few more then arrive.

God himself sheds a single golden tear.

Gaben falls asleep.

https://youtu.be/k5Pz_K_e9ys

>>520453442
>fire resistant alligator
I like where you are going with this.
How about the alligator has some sort of lubricated suit to help slide down stairs?

>>520455479
1pbtid kike demoralizer moron

>>520453091 (OP)
I'll just make a mortar and shell their house from a safe distance

>>520458052
why not do it now retard? no time like the present.

>>520453091 (OP)
the disenfranchised like 7 billion people. the fuck is a moat and a cannon going to do?