Thread 18006001

whats your gimmick anon?

skinnyfat drug addict with aspergers
I secretly drug my opponents drink and food before matches to get an advantage. I prefer to use either benzos or heavy doses of LSD due to their high potency and ease of unknowingly dosing victims.

I love buddy.

pretending that Iyo Sky is fat

>>18006025
She is

>>18006001 (OP)
I'm a neetKING

>>18006001 (OP)
my gimmick is that i rarely talk but im very emotive

>>18006001 (OP)
Inoki-ist.

>>18006001 (OP)
being based as fuck

>>18006001 (OP)
I'm a jobber who's main event material and can pull impressive upsets the rare days i'm not crippled by depression and anxiety attacks caused by a weed greenout a few months prior.

>>18006001 (OP)
i report off-topic threads and add them to my threadwatcher so i can be there to see the exact moment my will was enacted

>>18006001 (OP)
My gimmick is I fucked your wife and you know it

>>18006726
Fucking based.

>>18006726
I reply "Wrestling?" To non-wrestling threads and report them en masse with different devices just to make the jannies and mods having a shit day.

My gimmick is I find the weakest pretenses possible to post about divisive off-topic political shit on a pro-wrestling image board

>>18006001 (OP)
Im racist and attack mexicans negroes italians and kevin nash backstage

Guy who sits in catering

My gimmick used to be spamming joshi foot threads around the catalog but I've since moved on.

>>18006001 (OP)
I drive

>>18006001 (OP)
Having a successful career w/great family wife & kids, but still troll on the internet in same manner I did since ~1990 as a kid.

astroturfing on 4chan anti-WWE memes because I connect so deeply with AEW it is part of my identity, alongside being queer, trans and liberal

>>18006726
king shit

>>18006913
Ah, so your gimmick is being a dimeless falseflagger, got it

>>18006923
nah that's u

>>18006952
still u tho

>>18006923
>>18006995
haha got 'em

>>18007036
boom, just got u as well

I've been working a tankie gimmick for the past couple of years and it's finally starting to get some serious heat with it. What's nice is that it works both liberals and conservatives into a seething sputtering shoot. Some angles I've gotten over recently:
>repeatedly pointing out that China and Vietnam perform the death penality on corrupt politicians whenever there is yet another corruption scandal in my country
>bragging about China being technologically superior to the West
>bragging about China winning the trade war with the US and cucking Trump at the tariff negotiations
>saying North Korea probably isn't that bad actually
>calling for the reestablishment of the USSR
>praising Stalin as the greatest leader in world history
>extolling the virtues of the Soviet gulag system
>telling a Ukranian immigrant that Ukraine isn't a real country
>denying the Holodomor
>genuinely wanting Iran to drop a nuke on Tel Aviv
The eventual babyface turn is going to be epic.

I tweet 23 hours a day.
Post threads here ever 2.5 minutes
Shove figgys up me bum
Pretend I don't exist when I'm called out.

>>18008002
How often do you grease your wheelchair "anon"

>>18008002
ah, the ol' bitchtits character archetype

>>18007929
You're just doing it for the cheap heat you get from everyone else working slightly different lefty gimmicks.

>>18006001 (OP)
I'M FAT
AND FATTER THAN EVER
GOT BEETUS MY HEALTH COULD BE BETTER

"so and so on my tv set!!!!"

>>18006001 (OP)
My gimmick is that I’m gay and have a micropenis

I don't really have a gimmick. I'm just myself but turned up to 11. Unfortunately I only get over on the indies and any time I get a shot at the big leagues it's overwhelming and I can't deal with the success and withdraw back to indie shows for a few months. People in the big leagues always ask why I never handle the big push but they just don't understand I'm introverted and they annoy me but I still want to pop them for some reason.

acting like a chimp and mauling another wrestlers face

>>18008002
Remember that time you tweeted about pissing yourself because you fell out of your chair?

>>18006001 (OP)
Saying the word.

>>18008217
Goat and HOF gimmick.

>>18008002
Oh come on, this isn't even a believable gimmick. No one is that big of a loser.

>>18006001 (OP)
Just some middle aged guy who goes to work and then the bar 3X a week to help relieve the boredom of life
No GF in 3 years
Just looking for a reason to get to the next day.
Shitpost here to pass the time

>>18006001 (OP)
IRL - adam cole except the giga push (I'm getting jobbed out nearly every time)
PW - making vagely off-topic posts to waste time.

My gimmick is that I know it's all real but I pretend sometimes that it's fake so I'll fit in.

>>18008651
>Just some middle aged guy who goes to work and then the bar 3X a week to help relieve the boredom of life
Are you Friend C from some shitty '90s sitcom?

>>18006001 (OP)
I post normally but drop an occasional shoot anypony to get massive heat like Muhammad Hasan got after 9/11.

>>18007929
>genuinely wanting Iran to drop a nuke on Tel Aviv
based

my gimmick is i haven't been able to stop myself from manually breathing for the last 6 months

>>18006001 (OP)
One of the original five Carters of /asp/
You're welcome for the past 12 years of laughs

>>18006001 (OP)
I’m the guy who doesn’t wash his hands. My finisher is the mandible claw

>>18010356
Cant you think of something else besides breathing?

Surface level mainevent material but I get jumped backstage every week and job in every single match. The commentary desk never remembers my name, my opponents never cut promos on me directly and just work their next feud when they're working with me, the smarks hate me, the marks are tired of me, the Mexican fans don't get why they book me like this, even though I regularly work a USA #1 gimmick. I haven't been paid is 2 years and the booker sued me so I'm stuck in this contract for the rest of my natural life. I don't even have a dedicated stalker. No one likes me but everyone thinks other people do, so they all think they're being very unique and contrarian when they insult me on Twitter or splash acid in my face while I'm trying to get groceries.

>>18006785
>just to make the jannies and mods having a shit day.
GOOD MORNING SAAR

>>18006001 (OP)
I steal other people's gimmicks and drive them into the ground

>>18006805
I appreciate those, Anon. Good work

>>18007929
I have a Mike Rowe posting gimmick on pol. Works the neets into a shoot every time

>>18006726
Hope you get released and go to Reddit.

>>18006001 (OP)
From Death Valley, weighing 400 pounds
The Necrobumper

>>18010510
The JBL of /pol/.

A guy who's a little bit retarded, but is pretending to be really retarded.

>>18006001 (OP)
Kittoposting on other boards.

>>18010510
I wouldn't hate him if it weren't just a money making schtick with the guy.
He believes the stuff he promotes is good *for you*. He himself didn't get to where he is working blue collar jobs and, knowing someone who has actually worked with him, he takes all sorts of lazy shortcuts in his own work.

>>18011290
Aka Kittoshitting
Kittoshitting is based

>>18006001 (OP)
A professional bridge burner. Every time I start getting over with the audience, I just have to do something to fuck it up and get go away heat.

>>18006001 (OP)
BPD shut-in who wasted his entire life and has no friends and suffers from anhedonia

>>18010510
I wouldn't hate him if it weren't just a money making schtick with the guy.
He believes the stuff he promotes is good *for you*. He himself didn't get to where he is working working blue collar jobs and, knowing someone who has actually worked with him, he takes all sorts of lazy shortcuts in his own work.
Anyone who's worked a blue collar job will tell you that the tough part isn't the "job", but rather the grind of doing it year in and year out without much to show for it. Funny how that was never part of his show.

>>18010510
i fucking hate shitty forced backronyms more than anything i get so autistically triggered by them

>>18006001 (OP)
compensating for my lack of social life due to poor health with parasocial relationships with tv personalities and other social media outcasts and trying not to be swallowed by self-loathing and near suicidal depression caused by above conditions and other laughable failures through past 15 years of my life.
Oh, and wrestlings pretty fun to follow and talk about, it's pretty much the only thing that keeps my mind off of my other problems consistently for about few hours everyday.

>>18007929
Besides the holocaust everything you said is true

>>18006001 (OP)
murdering indians

>>18011956
They said Holodomor not holocaust, it's a different event

>>18006001 (OP)
i piss in bottles which i then use as weapons in my matches when the ref's not looking
i usually use my piss to blind my opponents but sometimes i throw it on my opponent's crotch so the ref will think he pissed himself for emotional damage

>>18012001
I challange u to a match and impress Liv Morgin with my victory and then fill her with mighty Aryan seed

>>18006001 (OP)
my gimmick is that i keep failing and i will never change

>>18010510
i swee you working there right now anon, doesn't seem to generate a ton of seethe apart from one guy calling you obsessed

>>18012957
>Being a shoot jobber
Kek

My gimmick on pw is this: I call Bron Breakker "Big" and often bring him up unprompted hoping that people will make fun of him, thus drawing out his fanboys to defend him as being "the future" and "shoot 6'0" because i find that back and forth funny for some reason. I don't even watch WWE and have never seen one of his matches, just a few clips of that little running around the ring spear he does. I have absolutely nothing against him and have always loved Scott, Bron just doesn't seem special at all to me so I enjoy stirring up the drones.