Welcome everyone, it's time to bring back an old classic: The /pw/ Rumble. This is a special Independence Day edition of the rumble, presented by K-WAB (Kino Wrestling for Autistic Bastards). Thread theme:
https://vocaroo.com/15FuJOIL40Se
Let's honor the battles of the founding fathers by having an epic battle of our own. It works like this:
>30 slots are available
>Slots are first come first serve, but subject to approval by the promoter.
>Entries must be a wrestler, or at least someone wrestling-related. OC wrestler characters are welcome.
>You enter by posting a pic and a short promo.
>When it begins, you simply post what you want to do and who you want to eliminate.
>The target will always get a chance to avoid or counter
>Victory is decided by digits. Quads or 92 is the best, 29 is second best, trips are next down the line, followed by dubs and finally high singles.
>So basically each post is a roll, and the best roll wins.
>Rumble continues until only one competitor remains in the ring.
>The winner will be crowned as the new champion

Rizzo

>>18159940
Very well, Adrianna Rizzo is our first entrant. We can begin as soon as she has an opponent.

Now I see a lot of people online and in wrestling communities trying to tear down the old Snake with what they consider the "Worst promo of all time" but in reality we the masses have been too dumb to understand the level of kino that Jake was throwing down
>Everyone over the years have attributed the "You wanna play 21? I've got 22" line as being a sign that Jake doesn't know the rules of Blackjack
>In actuality what Mr. Roberts means is that he has a .22 Caliber gun, and that even if his opponent truly has the perfect hand he will not walk away the victor because Jake is vicious and will do anything to win.
>The line "Do you wanna play blackjack? I got two of those too" is then him saying that he has two actual blackjacks, a type of crude club used to bash people
>Finally the line "You wanna play Aces and Eights? I got too many of those" is probably the most kino of them all
>Aces and Eights goes by another name. They are called "Dead Man's Hand" because it is said to be the cards that Wild Bill Hickok, a famous outlaw, was holding when he was shot dead
>Jake is then implying that he has led a trail of men who thought they could best the snake only to wind up dead at his hand over the years.
It's time to face the facts, that even while ballooned off his ass on enough drugs to kill a bull, Jake Roberts could still cut a more cerebral promo than anyone else in the history of the business. And he will be the next /pw/ champion.

>>18159972
Alright we have our starting pair! Let the battle BEGIN!
>DING DING DING

The ol snake is gonna look this bitch right in the eyes and hypnotize her like a cobra, forcing her to show me her tits and then throw herself out of the ring.

>>18159940
Rizzo, you must roll to try and avoid the hypnotic attack

BOW DOWN TO THE KING

>>18160019
OH AND THIS WAS NOT EXPECTED! WE HAVE A LEGEND IN THE RING! King is now the third entrant. Rizzo must roll soon or be eliminated by Jake the Snake's hypnotism.

Alright, Rizzo has only two minutes to roll before being eliminated.

Alright, time is up! Adrianna Rizzo has been hypnotized by the wily gaze of Jake Roberts, causing her to remove her bra and shake her titties at everyone in the building before jumping out of the ring and titty-flogging everyone in the front row.

>>18160068
Never trust a snake
>hahahahahahahahaa

>>18160019
King, you are free to roll anytime you wish. Simply post what you wish to do and who you wish to attack. Right now Jake is your only opponent.

SNAKE MAN! THE WARRIOR IS COMING TO MAKE YOU PAY FOR LOCKING ME IN THAT FUCKING BOX! AND WHEN THE MOON AND THE SUN AND THE PLANETS ALIGN, I WILL DESCEND FORTH FROM THE HEAVENS IN MY SPACESHIP, AND WHEN I TAKE OFF MY ALIEN SPACE HELMET YOU WILL KNOW THAT THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR IS NOT OF THIS *snort* EARTH!

Ok somebody make an attack roll, we currently have three people in the ring:
>King
>Jake
>Warrior

SNAKE MAN! I AM GOING TO GORILLA PRESS YOU OVER THE TOP ROPE! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

>>18160143
I'll slip my way out of your grasp like a slippery little garter snake, then hit you with a modified ddt from the apron, dropping you all the way to the floor.

>Warrior rolls a 43
>Jake rolls a 54
Once again, the wily veteran has outsmarted his opponent and thrown the Warrior out of the ring with a DDT from the ring apron. That was a risky move, but the Warrior has now been eliminated.

>Terrestrial heroes, can one of you quench my thirst for the divine conflict, the supreme struggle, or will your planet be doomed to the same fate that has befallen so many? Fight me, or I destroy the earth!

now the ol snake is lookin at that mean ol cat across the ring from me. he thinks he can play it cool and conserve his strength, but I got something for him. I'm gonna pull Damian out of the bag and let him wrap that kitty up so I can throw him out with ease.

>>18160170
Very good! WRASSLOR is officially the fifth entrant. Right now only King and Jake are in the ring so attack whichever you want.

King has five minutes to roll before being eliminated

>>18160198
>King? Who is the King of me? NOBODY! Prepare to face the wrath of Rasslor!
>mfw I fucked up the file name *BOTCHAMANIA*

>>18160250
That's ok, I had forgotten all about that character until I looked him up. Good choice by the way. So that would mean that you and Jake are teaming up and attacking King together. he better roll soon or he's definitely out.

>>18160250
>roars in your path

>>18160269
Sorry King, but you rolled a 69, which was not enough to block both attacks. Jake got an 80 and Rasslor got a 50, so you managed to avoid his wrath but Jake still managed to wrap you up with his python and throw you out. Feel free to enter someone else though.

Didn't these threads get banned? They used to be so fun

>>18160289
as far as I know they are allowed, surely the jannies wouldn't ban something that is clearly wrestling-related?

Alright so now we have just two people in the ring
>Jake
>Rasslor

I'm here to shake my booty and win that belt
>SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE

>>18159998
Many are saying this

>>18160323
Ok now that really isn't one that I would have expected anyone to use. Ok I guess the Booty Man is entrant #7 lol.

>Jake the Snake? UH-UH! I AM THE DAMN RATTLESNAKE! You talk about demons? I drank mine under the table and whipped their ass! And that’s the bottom line… 'cause Stone Cold said so!

>>18160344
OH HELL YEAH! NOW THAT'S MORE LIKE IT SON! Stone Cold Steve Austin enters the rumble at #8. Right now you can roll to attack either Jake, Rasslor, or the Booty Man.

>>18160323
>*hits the bootyman with a lariat*

>>18160368
I'm gonna duck the lariat and do my little booty dance to make your eyes bleed

>>18160363
Stomp a mudhole in Jake's ass

>>18160368
>>18160378
Oh no! Unfortunately the Booty Man has successfully ducked the lariat and countered with his horrendous dancing! However, since he didn't beat you by much, your eyes are not bleeding. Booty man gets to make the next attack due to the stun.

AND NO FLAME RETURNS!

>>18160384
so steve, we meet again. I put you over last time and made you the star you are today. You owe me steve. I made you. You know you don't want to stomp a mudhole in my ass. Trust me.

Booty man here, I'm gonna give Rasslor the high knee and knock him out of the ring.

>>18160410
I ain't selling for you Bootycheeks!

>>18160401
Very good! The big red mayor has won /pw/ rumbles in the past and I was hoping he would show up. You can attack Jake, Rasslor, Booty Man or Stone Cold

>>18160286
I’m outta quarters

>>18160424
I'M GONNA SEND STEVE STRAIGHT TO HELL WITH A CHOKESLAM

>>Steve Austin gets 84
>>Jake gets 04
It looks like Jake's luck may have finally run out! Austin proceeds to stomp a mudhole in his ass and then walk it dry! It's a horrible stomping that would qualify as felony elder abuse in most other situations.
>Booty gets 10
>Rasslor gets 23
Rasslor completely no-sells the high-knee, allowing him the initiative to make the next attack.

>>18160433
It's an emulator bro, just hit enter
>>18160443
Steve Austin must defend against a 43

>>18160443
UH-UH!
>>18160452
Roll Attack on Jake

The Truck from hell demands fresh blood!

>>18160452
RASSLOR ROLLS FOR DIVING AXE HANDLE

>>18160472
Nice maneuver from the Texas rattlesnake! He kicks Kane in the nuts, allowing him to escape the chokeslam and slip behind him to attack Jake Roberts again. Now Jake must defend against a 72.
>>18160476
Sorry the truck won't fit in the ring and it isn't a wrestler or even a human being.

>>18160472
DAMN YOU, TEXAS RATTLESNAKE

>>18160488
I'm gonna try to use my magical booty man powers and dropkick you in midair

>>RASSLOR gets 88
>>Booty gets 05
That is a complete skunking, Booty Man was taken completely off guard, and Rasslor's double axhandle hits him so hard that he bounces off the canvas and flies over the rope. Booty Man is out.

>>18160493
the ol snake is gonna try to hit the DDT on this little hatchling rattler. I'll show him who the real snake is.

>descend from ceiling
>If dubs, eliminate Steve
>If anything else, KWAB

>>Austin gets 72
>>Jake gets 39
Once again Jake comes out on the losing end, missing the DDT entirely because he's drunk(and possibly on crack). Austin takes advantage of this and gets him against the ropes, and Jake is teetering on the edge of being eliminated. Also Stone Cold, it is better if you specify the type of attack.

>>18160558
lol That would be a KWAB. Blue Blazer is eliminated before he even starts.

>>18160560
Hit Jake with a Stunner
>>18160558
NUGGET

Alright, it's time for the ol snake to pull out his secret weapon. I'll get the cobra I keep in my tights and put it right on Steve Austin's face.

>>18160572
>>18160581
Rasslor tries to eliminate both!

>Austin gets 72
>Jake gets 81
Stone Cold goes for the stunner, but it was too early for that. Jake the snake uses the opportunity to pull a cobra from his tights and latch it to Steve Austin's face! Luckily this cobra is devenomized but it still has teeth.

>>18160590
OH SHIT! RASSLOR JUST PULLED OFF OUR FIRST DOUBLE ELIMINATION, beating both rolls and sending both Jake and Austin to the floor! The crowd goes wild!

Kane is gonna give the man who pulled a double elimination hell. Here comes a flying clothesline from the top rope right at Rasslor!

>>18160627
>*ducks your clothesline*

It's down to just Kane and Rasslor for now, and Rasslor must defend against a 27

>>18160558
Ladies and gentlemen... This was not a wrestling angle... This was a terrible accident

>>18160632
OOOH YEAH! The Macho Man is entrant #10!

>>18160627
You're not the only pyromaniac I want to shoot on now.

I am big knife manju and i am the man who will be killing you now

Rasslor manages to avoid the flying elbowdrop, causing Kane to crash hard into the canvas

>>18160656
Alright, he's at least kind of wrestling related, so manju is #11

>>18160632
*speaks mexican monkey noises* and hits you with a bodyslam

>>18160680
ok now this one I like. Kemonito is #12, attack whoever you wish. Right now we have four people in the ring
>Rasslor
>Randy Savage
>Kane
>Big Knife Manju

>>18160680
I don't put over midgets. I'm punting you into the 4th row.

derty bich basterd benchod i will stab little monkey with big nife

>>18160668
Rasslor tries to clothesline Kane out of the ring.
>>18160696
What the fuck is this about?

>>18160696
Oh no! It looks like Kemonito has to beat a 96 to avoid being booted out of the ring! This could be interesting.

>>18160711
and kane must beat an 11

>>18160696
>>18160715
Dubs don't fail me now.

>>18160731
Sorry little guy, the numbers were cruel this time. The Macho Man pulls out a Slim Jim, SNAPS into it with a noise like a bullwhip, and screams OOOOOOOH YEEEEEEAH as he gives Kemonito a field goal kick right to the face, causing him to fly all the way to the fourth row, screaming AYE CARUMBA the whole way. Kemonito has been eliminated.

Entering SHLAK, the hardcore party animal

>>18160751
derty bich now i no get to stab the monkey i sad so i stab rasslor man insted

>NO POOS IN THE LOO

>>18160797
>>18160788
Forgot the you, and that's a KWAB for me.
HAPPY 4TH Y'ALL

>>18160797
Unfortunately, Manju got the digits of Hitler, which means you have been stabbed. However, since you clearly know Manju's one weakness (a working toilet), I will give you a chance to counter it in a manner of your choosing.

Kane, you must roll soon or be eliminated

In the ring, we now have
>Rasslor (#5)
>Kane (#8)
>Macho Man (#10)
>Big Knife Manju (#11)
>Shlak (#13)

>>18160811
Attempt a headscissors for elimination on Manju before being thrown out

>>18160843
derty bich you never get me i wipe poo poo on your head and bless you with power of ganesh

Roll to flip Manju out while he eliminates Rasslor

>>18160843
>>18160849
it would seem that manju is having a lot of luck tonight, he must have made a lot of offerings to ganesh or something. However, Rasslor is not eliminated because Manju did not specify that, he just said he wanted to stab him. So Rasslor is bleeding but still in.

>>18160860
OH and the power of the Macho madness has cancelled out the luck and the temple offerings of Big Knife Manju, as he is flipped out to the floor where he sprays poo everywhere in a fit of rage! As the promoter, I can assure you that I will deploy some people in hazmat suits to clean that shit up right away.

It would appear that Kane has completely disappeared without a trace, he hasn't officially been eliminated but there is no sign of him.

Fuck this, I'm going to give Kane one of these

Dumps Rasslor's bleeding, lifeless body out of the ring and his very familiar sounding voice.

it's EFFY LOL

>>18160938
Absolutely NOT. Fucking rejected. It is my pleasure to kick this faggot out of the arena personally. He's going out the door head first.
>>18160936
Rasslor clearly had to go so I'll allow that with no dispute, unless Rasslor comes back within five minutes.
>>18160908
Kane takes the double chair attack and is now vulnerable.

Your hatred of faggots has summoned me, Friar Payne. I am a bible bangin, troon hangin, whip swangin, holy water chugging destroyer of all degenerate scum. Once I was a degenerate tranny myself, but I saw the light of the LORD and now, with his holy guidance and my loyal church of Payne, I will become the next /pw/ champion.

Alright, and Rasslor has officially been eliminated>>18160936
by the Macho Man. Savage has gone on an absolute tear in there, could we be looking at the next gigadimes champ?
>>18161011
I think I remember that thread. Ok you get in the rumble at #14.

SHLAK here, rolling to see if I can find Kane

>>18161011
I'm atomic dropping this jabroni over the top rope.

>>18161054
>>18161011
Goddamnit I attached it. Beat a 54 you freak.

>>18161038
no need bitch I was under the ring all along. and now I have taken on my final and most powerful form. Rolling to chokeslam Shlak out of the ring.

>>18161057
By the power of our holy and vengeful lord jehovah, I will smite this evildoer who hath corrupted young stephanie mcmahon with yon marijuana and deep dicking. Using my holy magic I will conjure a giant slim jim and use it to choke you out, so that you will repent of your sins and join the holy church of PAYNE.

>dumps baby oil from the rafters on everyone in the ring

>>18161062
I'll reverse your chokeslam into a powerbomb and put your ass out of the ring, and through the announcers table for good measure.

>>18160892
Original Kane poster here, sorry fellas was shoot watching fireworks and got distracted talking to the folks.
>>18161062
Go get em, Blue Kane

>>18161062
That is legal since you can only be eliminated by going over the top rope and having both feet touch the floor. However, since Shlak >>18161090 got a 90, he successfully reverses the chokeslam into a powerbomb and slams blue Kane on the hard concrete, eliminating him. Kane has been a winner in the past but it looks like this isn't his night.
>>18161088
Lol who are you entering? Vince, Diddy, or the Rock? Diddy wouldn't be wrestling related as far as I know but the other two are fair game.
>>18161057
>>18161075
It would seem that the friar has countered the atomic drop with some kind of weird catholic grimoire magic, and now the Macho man must roll to escape the grip of the unholy slim jim.

>>18161096
Ok I'll expose the business a little, I took over your character because I didn't want Kane to go out like that. If you want to get back in, I'll allow it.

Alright, I'm coming down to ringside and unmasking blue Kane. Just as I suspected, it was that jabroni Brian Lee trying to take Kane's spot. But wait, what is that under the ring?

>>18161123
I'm about to pass out so if this is dubs or better eliminate me and the Friar.

>>18161156
By God!
Kane's back! He found 20 dollars under the ring! He's gonna hit Friar Payne with the big boot!

I am besta wrestler in the world, da Iron Sheik. I am real shooter man, look at my gold medals you fucking jabronis. i come down to thisa /pw/ rumble so i can make you humble old country way

>>18161163
>>18161172
Ok, Kane comes out from under the ring in a cloud of red smoke, slipping back under the ropes and going straight for the friar. The Macho Man is going after the Friar as well, so he must beat a 72 to avoid elimination.

OH LORD PLEASE GRANT ME THY HOLY DIGITS TO SAVE ME FROM THESE BLASPHEMOUS SINNERS

>>18161194
And he gets it! Somehow the friar has floated above the ring and avoided both attacks!

SHLAK here, I think I'll leave Kane alone and go after this sanctimonious prick friar. I'm gonna powerbomb him out of the ring just like I did the fake kane.

>>18161224
By the beard of Moses, you look like some kind of demon straight from the pits of perdition. Good heavens, where did they find you? But it matters not, for I have the power of the LORD. I shall avoid thy attack and smite thee with a flying flip kick while I recite verses from the old testament.

>>18161240
Damn, once again the friar avoids elimination, and smacks Shlak with a devastating flip kick like Guile. Payne now has the initiative.

wait booker man Iron Sheik going to attack now. I am going to grab the macho man, because he never pay me for my marijuana and my cocaine back in 1987 yes? he never share hisa ring rats witha me either, that jabroni. I suplex him and put him in camel clutch to break his back.

I shall now take mine massive bible and whack shlak betwixt the eyes, stunning him and knocking him out of the ring to demonstrate the power of the LORD.

Kane respects the business so he waits until The Iron Sheik gets his spot in before trying to hit him with a sidewalk slam

>>18161163
>>18161265
Macho Man, you still here? It looks like the Sheik is trying to get paid for being your drug hookup back in the day. You must beat a 65 if you are still awake. Also Shlak must beat a 75 to avoid elimination.

SHLAK here, ok let's hope I can get some dubs. I want to eat this faggot friar's face off and then spit the remains out into the crowd.

>>18161277
thank you mista kane, you are likea me, a professional who have respect. that's why i didn't fuck that jabroni brian blair in his ass back at wresselmania 3 at pontiac silverdome yes. I have respect! I'm a professional! otherwise was ready to do it to him! Ok I will turn your sidewalk slam into suplex if I can yes?

Ok it looks like the Macho Man has gone to sleep, so we're just going to say that he left because someone was trying to hit on Elizabeth.
>>18161275
>>18161295
The friar has finally run out of magic, because his bible thump had no effect on the massive cranium of Shlak. Shlak then grabs Friar Payne and literally eats part of his face off, spitting a chunk of bloody flesh into the crowd. Everyone starts screaming and chanting for more blood.
>>18161277
>>18161313
Kane lands the sidewalk slam, sending the Sheik to the mat with a bang. No suplex or camel clutch this time.

Alright you losers, big sexy's in the house now. And if any of you nerds get a 92 in this thread I will jacknife you straight through the floor. So hit the weights, gain height, take a shower, get a clue, and put me in this thing.

Ok fuck this friar, I'm tossing him out like the garbage he is.

>>18159930 (OP)
More like /PW/ Fumble

>>18161376
You shall not overcome my holy divine powers, thou unseemly wretch! I shall easily avoid your clutches and put my foot betwixt thy rump cheeks.

>>18161376
>>18161385
Damn, and the Friar somehow avoids elimination again! Shlak ends up with a foot in his ass for the trouble.

Kevin Nash, you fucking jabroni, I FUCK your ASS and make you humble old country way, then I suplex you out of ring.

>>18161394
Please, you can't rape me. The only ones who ever did that were the 92 crew and they're nowhere near here. Pretty sure they're all in prison by now. I'll just run up to you and OH FUCK MY QUADS

>>18161385
Friar, my bad I botched my spot, my pyro went off in your face

>>18161394
>>18161403
Ok I'm sorry but I am not going to allow gay rape in the ring. So let's just say the Sheik suplexed him, broke his back, made him humble, threw him out of the ring, but didn't fuck his ass. Kevin Nash is out.

>>18161406
NOOOOOO I MUST CALL UPON THE POWER OF THE SAINTS TO SAVE MEEEEE

>>18161407
maybe i fuck his ass and make him humble after show yes? then nobody have to see.

>>18161406
>>18161413
The Friar does indeed catch fire, but since he narrowly won the roll he managed to put out the fire without too much damage. It wasn't the saints though, he just dropped and rolled while screaming in tongues.

SHLAK here, I'm going after the Friar while he's distracted and dumping him over the ropes.

>>18161422
dubs so it will happen
>>18161433
Oh shit and Shlak got some dubs on the friar while he's already fighting Kane! Can the bible thumping madman survive this one?

>>18161433
NEVER! The power of the LORD is supreme! I will blow off your head with a biblical curse!

>>18161444
wtf he actually got trips and beat it...this is getting a little crazy here. And he also used some kind of old testament curse to blow Shlak's head completely off before dumping his lifeless body over the ropes.

Jesus Christ Friar. Kane's gonna... move away from the man that's actually blessed by God and hit Nash with the Last Ride

BIG KING MABEL IN THE HOUSE NIGGAS. I JUST RAPED NASH IN THE BACK AND NOW I'M READY TO WHOOP YALLS ASSES

>>18161453
Nash already got eliminated by the Sheik, as well as being raped by Mabel as soon as he got to the locker room. Go ahead and roll again good sir.

YESSSS no one can defy the holy power of the almighty CHURCH OF PAYNE. And now I will infuse myself with the strength of the LORD and back body drop the Sheik out of the ring for his life of sin and his refusal to accept Christ.

>>18161469
Fuck I misread and just thought he was raped (KWAB)
In that case he's gonna try and bodyslam Mabel like he's Andre and Kane's Hogan

>>18161479
fucka you jabroni, I going to grab you and put you in camel clutch but i not gonna break your back. Instead I turn camel clutch into full nelson slam and put YOU out of ring instead.

>>18161482
HAHAHAHAHAHAA Go ahead and give it a try nigga, you can't lift my fat ass. When you try, I'll just sit down on yo scrawny dead ass and do you like this

>>18161479
>>18161487
OH AND THE FRIAR'S REIGN OF UNHOLY TERROR HAS ENDED! The Sheik went straight up Olympic shooter on that motherfucker and full nelson slammed him right out of the ring. The Friar can't believe it, he thought he was invincible.
>>18161482
>>18161494
Bro you need to do something real quick or you're gonna end up like Kevin Nash. He almost got a 92 which means he almost raped you.

IT'S STIIIIIIING

Alright Stinger here, the first thing I'm gonna do is kick the shit out of Mabel and save Kane from being 92'd.

I haff come to vin za title und give many german suplexes

>>18161518
I think I'm just gonna let this big masked motherfucker lay on the mat while I grab this little blond twink who be lookin like eminem at the circus and slam him down to the mat HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>18161494
It's time for THAT technique. TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER TO BREAK THAT FAT FUCK'S ORBITAL BONES

Iron Sheik I am calling you out, you are not za real wrestler around here, zat is me! Und I vill now put you in a submission hold zat is so rare and complex zat even I do not know its name.

LET ME TALK TO YA! YEAH!

>>18161543
fucka you too jabroni, I going to put you out of ring because you dont even deserve camel clutch

>>18161566
And LA Knight enters the rumble at #20!

>>18161518
>>18161530
Looks like Sting did manage to save Kane from being 92'd but he got slammed to the mat and now is in danger himself.
>>18161535
Mabel must roll against a 35
>>18161543
>>18161567
The Iron Sheik has claimed another victim as Gunther goes flying out of the ring.

>>18161535
nigga you cant break my bones im gonna sit on yo ass again

>>18161535
>>18161607
OH look at that! It seems that Kane has returned the favor and saved Sting from the 92 treatment by giving Mabel a sickening tombstone piledriver that shatters some of the bones in his face! BAH GAWD SOMEBODY STOP THE MATCH HE JUST KILLED HIM!

In the ring right now:
>Kane (#8)
>Iron Sheik (#13)
>Mabel (#17)
>Sting (#18)
>LA Knight (#20)

I'm going after LA Knight. He's getting a baseball bat upside the head.

>>18161624
LA Knight must beat a 24

By the way, we are going to go ahead and cap this at 20 people just because it's getting late. LA Knight, you still there?

>>18161618
After crushing Mabel's orbital bones, Kane's gonna try to fireman carry him like he did Big Show and chuck him over the ring

dis iron sheik guy, numba one shoota. i tired of waiting so i going to go get LA Knight too he is jabroni motherfucker wasta everybody's time so i BREAK HIS BACK and throw him out

>>18161696
im callin in the rest of the 92 crew for backup so they can take yo ass to the alley

>>18161661
lemme talk to ya, sorry i was gone so long. im gonna reverse sting's move and get him with a turnbuckle bomb before I throw him out the ring

>>18161696
>>18161711
Unfortunately the rest of the 92 crew isn't here because they are too busy chasing Kevin Nash through the city. And so big king Mabel has been eliminated.

>>18161624
>>18161720
Close but no cigar, LA Knight has been smacked with a baseball bat and sent flying out of the ring! Now we're down to
>Kane (#8)
>Sting (#18)
>The Iron Sheik(#15)

stinger i going to get you now, you look like that jabroni brian blair and i going to wrap you up with my turban and fling you from ring like little girl

>>18161752
TIME FOR THE STINGER SPLASH AND THE SCORPION DEATHLOCK THATS HOW I MAKE YOU HUMBLE

>>18161755
no fucka you i no sell your scorpion deathlock and i snorta some cocaine and i takea some mushrooms so i do not feel the pain yes? I reverse and put you in boston crab because I am best wrestler in the world

>>18161765
that's where you fucked up sheiky baby, because I switched your cocaine with baby powder in the back! You should have kept a better eye on your stash because I just took your power source.

NOOOOOO NOT MY COCAINE

>>18161782
Tossing the Sheik out of the ring before he recovers from the disappointment

>>18161784
NEVER! I NOT GIVE UP! I SPIT ON YOU! I SPIT ON AMERICA HOCK TOOEY! I SUPLEX YOU, PUT YOU IN CAMEL CLUTCH, BREAK YOUR BACK AND THEN FUCK YOUR ASS TO MAKE YOU HUMBLE OLD COUNTRY WAY

>>18161784
>>18161808
Despite a fantastic run, the Iron Sheik is finally eliminated at the hands of Sting, which brings the rumble down to just two people
>Sting
>Kane

Sheik fell for the classic blunder, the ol' switcharoo! Never bet against a stinger when his life is on the line! Kane waits for a moment, then plans on hitting the survivor of the altercation with a big boot to get the Royal Rumble win he never was able to in his career

Alrght Kane let's finish this, I'm coming for you with a dropkick to the face and then you get the baseball bat like that faggot LA Knight.

>>18161817
>>18161823
Sting dodges the boot and delivers a dropkick/baseball bat combo, sending Kane to the mat.

>>18161827
Correct, and that means Sting has the initiative

Alright Kane it's time, you're going out that ring with a powerslam

>>18161832
summoning the flames to blast you out of the ring and claim my righteous victory

That finish isn't going to work for me brother. I'm gonna try to grab the ropes before getting released in full and use my legs and inertia to take you by the neck and send you over the top instead

>>18161837
Another imposter gimmick? Goddamnit Vince

>>18161832
>>18161837
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR WINNER AND NEW /PW/ GIGADIMES CHAMPION....KAAAAAAAAAANE!

Wait a minute, wait a minute, do we have two Kanes again? What the hell is going on here?

>>18161841
It is I, brother. I have come back from hell to take you with me. The devil is very angry at having been cheated of your soul. Today you are the winner, but there is something you should know. Next saturday, you will rest....IN PEACE.

>>18161857
Aw FUCK not again.

>>18161862
Yes it would seem that the Undertaker was watching the entire time, waiting for the right moment to make himself known. However, since he has now gone back into the darkness, I would like to present you with THIS.

>>18161872
Thank you OP for always drawing the house. I'll be wearing this with pride

And this is a good time to make an announcement: K-WAB will be running shows on this board once a week from here on out. Most shows will not be rumbles, of course, because that is kind of a special event. Next week's show will be a little bit more normal.

>>18161888
You're welcome. I had no idea who would end up holding this belt first, but I am glad it belongs to a worthy champion. Next saturday at 10PM EST, our main event will be you Vs The Undertaker in a steel cage deathmatch.

>>18159930 (OP)
Dimeles

>>18159930 (OP)
Pretty good actually, hope OP delivers next week.

>>18162530
At least I can spell my insults correctly lol. By the way GMS.

Really? This is the big thing to combat how dog shit this website is? I fucking hate this place. Waifu consolewars Nash AI Slop and occasionally bullshit like this is all we ever get. I hate it here.

>>18163484
Make a thread that isn't any of those things or hold your peace, mark

>>18163608
That's the right attitude imo. Anyone can criticize, it costs nothing and carries very little risk. Trying to actually do something positive is much more challenging.

>>18163484
This is no bullshit, and it will not be an occasional thing. We will be running shows once per week. Right now, the plan is for a saturday night show and a special event every other month. That plan could change but that's where it is for now.