itt: we pretend to be bret hart

it was a homo publication

BILL GOLDBERG

>>18462118 (OP)
I was always jealous of Hogan

>>18462118 (OP)
Kek what a heart attack having bitch

hello guys i'm bret hart

>>18462162
Hi

AND TRIPLE H YOU STINKIN' HYENA YOU SHOULD BE PUSHING BIANCA AND JADE CARGILL BUT YOUR AMERICAN PREJUDICE WON'T LET YA. WE STILL LOVE BLACK KWEENS IN CANADA AND I'LL BE MORE THAN WILLING TO PUT THEM OVER RIGHT HERE IN THE DUNGEON.

I was never a fan of that shifty-eyed, hook-nosed, double-crossing, crocodile-tears KIKE - Bill Goldberg.

>looks unimpressed

>I screwed myself

>>18462118 (OP)
hmm I should be able to ride this bike without a helmet

I THINK GOLDBERG SUCKS
SHAWN SUCKS TOO

>*clears throat* Ya know, Bill Goldberg, he's a real piece of shit

Martha Harts a fucking bitch

>>18462162
WE LOVE YOU GOAT

>>18462118 (OP)
Gunther didn't go far enough. He needed a final solution for BILL GOLDBERG! Cripple him for what little life he has left.

I THINK HOGAN AND GOLBERG AND RUSSO AND SHAWN MICHAELS ARE IDIOTS

I am bitter and Canadian and despite being the best wrestler of all time, I refuse to train anyone, even my own family to rob future generations of the wisdom I may be able to impart.

>Me and my brothers were the best wrestlers everyone victimized us

>>18462118 (OP)
UGH I HAD A STROKE AND I CAN"T GET MY DICK HARD ANYMORE.

>>18462118 (OP)
Luv me some kweens

>>18462118 (OP)
>uh I'm an anti-draw shitter

>>18462162
>it’s real

>>18462118 (OP)
>Ya know this uh... CM punk guy. he seems pretty decent on the mic
>He's not the greatest wrestler in the world by any means i mean he's about as athletic as a turtle on a wire
>and looks wise I mean uh...kind of looks like a meth head but its a unique look at least, ya know
>He's seems a bit off ya know... he's always running around backstage taking pics with girls giving them Starbucks gift cards its kind of weird and creepy
>He's a big fan of mine which is cool and all but i think he takes it a bit too far, he's always saying how I deserved better ya know, which he's right i did.
>That whole Goldberg thing still chaps my ass
>But Punk he gets a bit obsessive with and stares at me like im some kind of hot chick he wants to fuck
>I'm like is this guy gay or something, which is fine if he is its 2025 and all
>He's got this real weird thing for trans kids that i don't get
>I cant be sure but I think he might be trying to have sex with them
>and he's always asking me about Kevin Nash and the 92 incident like if i know the details and what did they all do to him
>Im like I wasn't there man I mean there was that Hotel incident with the Basketball players which I told him a few times ya know
>He always gets this lusty look in his eyes when i tell him about it and i swear I've seen him lick his lips

eh oh got some good wrestling aboot here eh

>>18462187
Bret shooting big time

>>18462162
Oh my god Bret actually posts on this board

Hey guys, it’s Owen Hart. I hope everyone is doing swell. Love you all.

>I wanted to attend Hogan's funeral just to see if that selfish lying backstabbing piece of human garbage was really dead but I couldn't because I couldn't remember the funeral home's address because that reckless s.o.b. Bill Goldberg kicked me in the head and ended my career.

>>18462775
I always read this in his voice and pop huge

>>18462118 (OP)
I wanna send a shoutout to my one true little fan out there, my CAT, Smokey.

>>18462118 (OP)
>Hogan was a degenerate
*unzips pants*
>He was real piece of work
*drops pants to ankles
>Awful person
*rubs cock hard
>shameful really
*takes of wedding ring
>what an awful thing to do your family
*fucks ringrats..
>a compelete egomaniac
*decorates his own bedroom with promo pictures of himself

>>18462708
based

>"Vince killed Owen. On purpose. Revenge for knocking him out in Montreal. Then I ran out of cash. The divorce just took everything from me. I had to go back to Vince and beg for a Mania payday. He did me one better. He paid my whole family to show up and participate in Mania! I owe Vince everything. And I'm glad Owen is dead.

>"I never had Sunny Days. I'm probably the only one who didn't F-her. Shawn was attacking my marriage. And I just couldn't stand for that. When we got back to gorilla, I told him to apologize. And he told me to "Suck It". I snapped. But that wasn't the last time I had to whoop his ass.

>"I love my family. They're all dead. Except me. But that's life. They made a film about The Hart Foundation, but renamed it "The Iron Claw". Changed Davy into Texas Tornado. It was a nightmare. Jim Hellwig killed Davy by the way."

YA KNOH, I'M A REAL JAM UP KINDA GUY

>"My dad made me walk to school while wrestling bears with my bare hands in, it was uphill both ways and the bear was sitting next to me in math classes and bullied me, after school the bear would drop me from a cliff into a 200 foot deep ravine and my dad tag teamed me with the bear in the basement for 15 hours while I tried to do my homework, it was messed up, in his mind he was prepping me to be the best there ever was, which I'm grateful but he never considered what I might have wanted, him or the bear. I made sure my brother Owen had it easier and we often had each others back against the bear and Stu but in hindsight, if I'd known Vince was such a cheapskate with the harness I'd let Owen take the cliff dive few more times to build up his tolerance, he could have survived."

>"It was my job to protect Owen. He was my little brother. After me, he was the best wrestler in our family. Maybe third best. Bruce even beat Dad. He just didn't have the look that I did. I was fucking Aladdin.

>>18463531

Bill didn't warn me about the kick just watch it happen I'm a seasoned veteran and he made a rookie mistake he shouldn't have been in the ring

>>18463537
CANADIAN NIIIIIIIIGHTS
CANADIAN NIIIIIIGHTS

best there was
best there is
best there ever will be
this homo forum obsessed with height and dimes cannot lace my boots

Yeah I enjoyed rubbing Billy Kidman the wrong way, but I also rubbed him the right way but he never talks about that does he? The no good piece of crap is just like Lodi.

>>18463531
>Yeah, I'm real sad about Owen. Anyway, did I ever tell you about how Vince screwed me? It's not a story WWE will tell you. It's the story of the best wrestler of all time. I was such a good wrestler I could make the crowds disappear. I was so good I could make a 5 star match out of Hulk Hogan. I was so great that I wanted a 20 years reign but I compromised on 10 before Vince screwed me over. And then that piece of shit Goldberg injured me with a kick that didn't even hit me and ended my spectacular career. And he was a good brother.

he would've had this server running a month ago

>>18462118 (OP)
>Nobody in this thread can wrestle better than I did. I'd still be the best wrestler in the world right now if it wasn't for Bill Golberg.