Pretty soon I will kill myself. My health has deteriorated so fast in the span of 6 months, I can barely walk nowadays, if I go out on a walk I pass out from exhaustion as soon as I get home, I'm sleeping all day, my body hurts, I'm tired. I have a bad spine and soon I'll go through a major surgery to see if it fixes anything, but that's just prolonging the inevitable, soon I'll end up in a wheelchair, stuck in my house, and being useless dead weight, I can't do this to my parents and watch them struggle because of me. My suicide will hurt them, they love me a lot, but they're old, and can barely work to survive now, I can't imagine how bad it would get if they have to financially support me once I can't work.
I bought a nice camera last year and I've been recording all my adventures, at least 1500 hours of me talking about my life, going out on hikes, and documenting the decline of my health. Before my death I plan to reach 2000 hours, hopefully this will bring them some sort of closure, and have them not blame themselves for my death once I'm gone.
I've been thinking about setting up automatic uploads on youtube so every week a new video comes up, iI have years worth of footage, I can set it up to upload videos automatically before I die. The last video would probably be a video of me revealing I was dead all along, and all of the videos were prerecorded, that'd be funny.
I bought a nice camera last year and I've been recording all my adventures, at least 1500 hours of me talking about my life, going out on hikes, and documenting the decline of my health. Before my death I plan to reach 2000 hours, hopefully this will bring them some sort of closure, and have them not blame themselves for my death once I'm gone.
I've been thinking about setting up automatic uploads on youtube so every week a new video comes up, iI have years worth of footage, I can set it up to upload videos automatically before I die. The last video would probably be a video of me revealing I was dead all along, and all of the videos were prerecorded, that'd be funny.
