I got a girlfriend today. I finally fucking did it bros it took me until I was 25. I thought I'd be incel for life but it turns out I was fakecel all along.

>>81506314 (OP)
Okay, so how did you do it?
Greentext it.

>>81506314 (OP)
she's non refundable don't fuck this up OP

>>81506335
>so how did you do it?
Pure luck, honestly.

>Show up to work like usual
>2 of my female coworkers pull me aside and say they want to talk about something
>Tell me that one of their friends who I'd spoken to in passing once a couple weeks ago was interested in me
>Gives me her phone number
>I text her the next day asking her out
>Eventually go on three successful dates
>Conversation flows normally, seem to have compatible values, similar life ambitions, opinions on the world, etc.
>Ask her the "hey so do we want to be serious and exclusive to one another" question today
>She says yes
And that's it, man. Things are still early though so I'm trying to not get too hyped up just in case everything falls apart.
>>81506336
>don't fuck this up OP
I'll probably find some way to give her the ick, but for now I'm playing it cool.

>>81506387
I would've said "NO WAY, FAG!". Is she fat?

>>81506314 (OP)
Enjoy it while you can.

Remember, you're not her first time.

>>81506401
>Is she fat?
Not even a little. Small Asian girl, but not the ultra-petite super short phenotype that you sometimes see. Plenty of good meat in all the right areas.
>>81506402
>you're not her first time
I'm an adult so I don't really care about virginity. Plus I slept with a couple women in the past, just never as part of a relationship. It's been many years since I had sex.

>>81506387
PLAY IT COOL ANON
DON'T SCARE THE HOES
YOU CAN DO THIS
I BELIEVE IN YOU

>>81506439
>Plus I slept with a couple women in the past
>incel
Kindly kill yourself

>>81506314 (OP)
I'm 33 and have never had a gf and will never be able to get one, I genuinely hope every smug WAGMI cunt like you dies in a slow and painful car accident. You are a nasty, horrible gloating person.

>>81506439
Kek, I love how even the lonely losers who succeed and had sex before aren't purityfags.
See this and know it well. Only the biggest terminally virginal losers with no chance of success are purityfags, kek.

>>81506468
Exempli gratia.

>>81506464
I'll do my best to make you proud, dad.
>>81506468
I stated that I was fakecel all along. I just needed to get my mojo back like Austin Powers.
>>81506475
>will never be able to get one
Why's that?
>have never had a gf
Same until today. I had kind of lost hope of getting a gf because I'm a pretty weird guy and I don't really go outside except to work. Plus I'm on night shift so meeting a new face is rare.

>>81506387
Good job OP. Time for you to graduate from this board.

>>81506568
>Why's that?
Because I'm autistic, have no friends, and have no female coworkers.

>>81506314 (OP)
Remember to treat her like a person, and by that I don't mean one of the bros. Be respectful, listen to what she says but don't believe everything she says. People are far from perfect.

>>81506314 (OP)
thats hella AWESOME bro, good to hear, i hope u make her happy and play that long term game proper good for your own happiness, god bless ur peace and relationship man, and may u stay winning

>>81506314 (OP)
Remember 70% of divorces are initiated by women, and that's not including the cheaters who keep it secret.

>>81507564
I've personally had 10 coworkers into me, and most of them were taken. So gf isn't even a dream for me anymore.

>>81506314 (OP)
When are you gonna rape her

>>81507587
And the ones who weren't taken were constantly shifting attention from one guy to another.

>>81506314 (OP)
Not for long you won't
I'm coming over