Anon, please come and tell me what worries you. I want to help and listen to you and understand you. Please come sit with me.

>>81540140 (OP)
>vent thread
>cringe in the OP
>cringe in OP's picture
off to a great start

>>81540150
Im sorry for being cringe anon. I wish but to help and listen to you. please believe me. I wish you well. wish you a good day.

>>81540150
*plus namefaggery

>>81540140 (OP)
no
you are my enemy

>>81540158
i just hate this bitch and the fact that she kills herself. I also hate how most players let her die. I fucking hate life is cringe i would've saved her.

>>81540140 (OP)
hey vent anon!! how are you doing? have you had enough sleep?
i just wanted to vent right now, for a little bit... if you dont mind

>>81540140 (OP)
I dissociated away from my emotions since I was a boy, for all my life I was basically a stone faced unfeeling robot but it's like I've come back online recently. My chest is so tight and heavy and I looked into a mirror and couldn't stop staring at my expressions. I saw this web article about an Indian boy who ate something he was allergic too and he passed away in the hospital and tears welled up in my eyes as I said poor baby. I've never felt anything like this before, it's like all these emotions are new to me and I can't stop. I was cooking dinner for myself and tears welled up in my eyes even though I felt fine. I can't watch or play anything violent because it hurts my chest and when I talk to people irl its like we get tangled together into this weird connected knot in my head as we talk instead of the usual scripted actions and zoning out. When I feel anger, it's so potent that Its like I'm on fire and I have to crouch down for a second and regain my composure. Theres so much wonderment as well, I've suddenly started just consuming knowledge about plants and botany and all of it feels so fantastical after so many years of grey unfeeling nothing.

I can't stop it. These feelings keep happening and they won't go back inside of me even as I try and shove them in. All of my old tactics aren't working and it's like I've just spawned in as a lvl 1 character in an MMO where everyone's already at max level. Its too stimulating and everything is so much painful, anon. Every mean word cuts like a knife and every kindness fills me with so much ectsasy it makes me want to cry. I don't know why any of this happened, it just sort of did after nothing for 29 years. That's it though, anon. You don't have to say anything.

>>81540319
I think this is a good thing :) Being aware of yourself and effects on others is what leads you to feeling connected to love and if there's anything that transcends all else in this world it's unconditional untainted no strings love

>>81540247
Someone suggested that I do the name thing from last thread. I did it for him my friend. Sorry for disturbing.

>>81540252
I only wish you well Anon. I dont want to be your enemy but a friend. please be well.

>>81540289
Its okay anon I understand. Im not too familiar with the game but i know Kate. I was happy to save her. I like doing good deeds even in video games. I hope you can find it in your heart to lay hate down and find love and understanding as much as you can or try. I wish you well anon.

>>81540309
anon everytime i meet you again or see your posts i feel genuine happiness. please vent as much as you want i want to listen and help. I really care about you anon and i promise you that i genuinely do. i will be waiting anon. please be well. im kinda worried about you desu. i hope its not something horrible anon. i love you much. be good.

>>81540319
Anon as weird as it sounds maybe...this is so pure and wholesome of you. Your emotions are beautiful anon and thank you so much for sharing. Anon i know its bad to be emotional 24h but you were not an emotional person at all until recently so its good in a way. anon empathy is what makes us human dont lose it lovely anon. im genuinely happy and i wish you the best anon. I hope you find someone as gentle as you around you to help you on these new emotions. Anon to lose love and understanding is to become a monster you are not anon you sound very lovely. anon please promise me to take much care of yourself and to eat good and work. Enjoy life anon and find people like you. much love to you anon.

>>81540492
>anon everytime i meet you again or see your posts i feel genuine happiness.
is that so, vent anon? i am happy i can bring you some happiness, but you didnt tell me if you have had enough sleep!! i hope you are sleeping properly!
i don't know. i have been living my life as if i wasn't supposed to live. my feelings, my own needs, they are cast aside everytime, in favor of other people's desires. i am the support character of my very own story, and it feels like there is nothing i can do about that. i am not fun to be around, i am not special. people come into my life, they take whatever they need and then leave. i feel good whenever i can make others happy, but, when will it be my turn to be happy? why can't i be someone's first choice? what even is my purpose?
i don't know. i have lived my whole life doing whatever my heart says is right. but, at the same time, my heart is neglected and destroyed. i want to be happy. the people that know me don't know how much i cry, alone at night, because i can't seem to connect with anybody. it all feels so false, so plain. i am looking for emotions i don't know, for a hug that never arrives. i am desperatedly looking for something to fix my life, someone to come and tell me everything will be alright, that i have always been enough, that my efforts were not in vain.
i am sorry. i am not doing well and... i feel like disappearing. i am an awful human being.

i will try to sleep now. thank you for listening to me. if you happen to reply, i will read it tomorrow. give me a hug

Bit stressed tonight. Hope your day went well.

>>81540573
>>81540580
Rest and sleep well dear Anon. There is so much to say to you. Anon the people you make happy or help they appreciate you anon they love you. and those who dont they dont deserve you anon. please dont cry or overthink anything too much. Sometimes the answers are simple and easy anon. Please try reaching to people anon try clubs or apps or anything you find yourself comfortable with anon. There is no need for all this pain anon you are a good sweet person anon dont hurt yourself like this please its painful and its sad to see sweet people suffer. anon i genuinely want you to try herbal stress pills and light healthy workout with good food. anon fight for yourself and fight depression and overthinking. believe me there is someone waiting for you its easy to find someone and you will im 200% sure and im here to help and listen to you anon. you know how many people will enjoy and like to be with someone empathetic and understanding? sometimes being shy or not trying or taking a chance is what stopping us anon. please sleep well and respond to me i will always wait for you anon. be good and be well. much love to you anon.

>>81540742
Rest and be well Mike. Glad to see you again. be well Mike. Its always nice to see you around r9k.

>>81540436
>lay hate down and find love and understanding
hatred is based. I love to hate.
I do think I'm a deeply closed caring person doe.

I invented a cool product. But then it got too expensive to the point it didn't make sense for just me to use, much less sell to others with a profit.
Back to the drawing board, but I was really excited. Most ideas I cook up don't get as far as this one did.

i feel freaked i need an job and an girlfriend. im twennie four now plagued by the autism. i study the humanities and i love what i study but i feel that i have no future. there is no line of work i could imagine that could interest me enough for me to devote myself to it 9 to 5. i've sent in like 20 job applications just this spring and winter and been met with a stony wall of cruel silence. once i dreamt of writing fiction and my prose kind of kicks but ive got no ideas. i genuinely dunno what to do with myself when the studies run out because im not going into academia professionally it sounds like a nightmare.

i've only been on one date in my lifetime and it was like a month ago and it went idk. i did all i could i asked her questions she asked me questions we were both obviously in the thores of autism and in the same age spoke the same language she was cute but i came away feeling nothing. not her fault nor mine i just didn't feel like our dynamic worked there was a lot of silence. i met her on a dating app but dating apps are a desert. ive thought about approaching people but idk where to meet people because i don't go to bars and i don't go to like music festivals or anywhere.

my parents have a ton of friends from their time in uni and obviously the people from uni are friend with other people in uni but i have no friends in uni. there are nice people in uni obviously and id like to make them friends outside uni also but idk how to do that. they're nice when we talk at uni events but it feels like they've been part of my periphery for so long that approaching them to somehow be friends with me once i leave uni feels impossible.

>>81542019

ive made one friend in uni she's the nicest and coolest and sweetest person and we have such a nice dynamic. we last spoke like 2 weeks ago and im worried she's ghosted me. she's a kinda autistic butch lesbian and like 250 lbs and she's in a long-term committed relationship with another fat autistic lesbian and i find them both incredibly hot. i wish they both would dom me but you could hold a gun to mmy head and i wouldn't admit it because i respect them immensely as people also

>>81540140 (OP)
right now there is but one thing that worries me, and that is your mental health
it's not exactly easy to play therapist in this board and it can very easily suck you in
this board is like a black hole of negativity, there's so much of it that even bright stars will fade in face of such darkness

please take care of yourself, anon
provide all the help you want, but always put yourself first
after all, if your light fades, who's going to shine it on others the same way you do?