i just dont understand if you try to tell them you are a piece of shit and show them their wrongdoings they're just like "ok" basically anything you say "okay" unless it is something specific about them like what their friend may think or what someone said about their looks

>>81630482 (OP)
Don't hang out with people that you don't like, and realize that it's too late to change them, but you can get into a teaching position so that you can prevent children from becoming like that.

you can't win. they'll die before they relent. just like narcissus

the simple answer is you don't. No matter what you do you cannot break a narc, assuming it's a real one since it's a new buzzword thrown around a lot.

dealing with someone who shows strong narcissistic traits can be extremely challenging, because their reactions often seem detached or dismissive when confronted with criticism or attempts to hold them accountable. it is not uncommon for narcissistic individuals to deflect, minimize, or even ignore statements that do not directly impact their self-image or social standing. they might respond with a simple 'okay' to avoid engaging, especially if the topic threatens their sense of control or superiority. however, when you touch on aspects that relate directly to how others perceive them, such as their appearance or social reputation, they may become more responsive, because maintaining a positive external image is usually very important to them. in practical terms, it is rarely productive to try to 'win' against a narcissist through direct confrontation. setting clear personal boundaries, staying consistent, and protecting your own emotional well-being tend to be far more effective strategies. expecting them to engage with empathy or genuine accountability is unfortunately unrealistic in many cases, and focusing on your own self-preservation is usually a healthier long-term approach

Narcissists have to be right. If they're wrong then refer to the narcissist's prayer:

That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.

>>81630482 (OP)
Stop looking for things wrong with them ???

>>81630482 (OP)
This sounds more like a seriously depressed person putting on airs, and making themselves out to be greater than they are. True narcissists tend to defend themselves and put you in your place if your criticize them, or have others do it for them.

>>81630537
To add to this; how people perceive them is extremely important. They will use triangulation to make you look awful, or they will make you look like the aggressor. A resigned and uncaring "ok" isn't really in their modus operandi it's defeatist and conceding to you. People who embellish their lives or their greatness because they hate themselves and their lives are far more common than real narcs.

>>81630537
if the narc is done with you or you have no use for them then they don't care
>>81630482 (OP)
get away from narcs, it's never going to end nicely for you

>>81630602
>if the narc is done with you or you have no use for them then they don't care
I don't disagree, but they tend to be way more hostile. They absolutely care about what others will think whom you may contact.

>>81630612
yeah i mean it can happen both ways, maybe i worded my reply incorrectly
have you encountered narcs irl? i have only met one, most were online

>>81630623
I have met two IRL, one ended up going to prison. They tend to first make you come over to their side, if they cannot they will humiliate people into compliance they are done with, and if that too fails they will pit others against that person so they won't be believed. Triangulation is the biggest narc strategy.

vulnerable narcissism is disgusting and the moment I even SUSPECT someone I'm talking to is a narc I walk away

>>81630632
Basically, they will try to make you be on their side. If you are not on their side you are garbage who needs to be forced into compliance. If that fails they will make everyone you know turn against you, so you are the problem to protect their image. In contrast someone who is using bullshit as a coping strategy tends to just let bad things happen to themselves and has no real concern what others think of them.

>>81630674
It's being worthless but wanting to be special vs thinking they are special and demanding others believe that. The narc actually believes themselves to be above others.

>>81630482 (OP)
u definitely won't "win"
all you can really do are set strong boundaries if you must still interact with them, otherwise grey rock them and slowly distance yourself

you win by not being sucked into their BS, letting them drain your emotional battery, just go live your life free of them to the best of your ability

>>81630482 (OP)
You have to mentally shatter them and then build them back up. Its usually not possible though.

They know what they are doing is wrong, they just don't care. The "ok" thing is to signify this. You are not part of their close circle of friends, you are not someone they give a shit about and they find it funny to make light of it. It is a kind of tribalism, you are a nonentity to them and treating you fairly is you demanding something from them.

The idea you should respect all souls and be polite to strangers is an old fashioned form of morality. If you aren't connected to their friends or serving some role like their waiter or cashier then they basically don't want you around and wouldn't be seen dead with you, "ew, why are your friends with.. that..." Very rarely they will give someone a chance, if they are new in some place and looking to climb the social ladder they might step on you, if you are particularly attractive and give off the right cues proving you are part of their subculture and might be entertaining, but these are exceptional circumstances.

There isn't really much thought or planning that goes into it, they find nearly everything irritating and feel justified in shutting out everything that does not give them their dopamine. They are under enormous pressure to maintain their social status and terrified of looking bad in front of the popular and fashionable. They want to control social settings and fear being ousted themselves. They will in fact go out of their way to harm you, vandalize property, lie about you, steal, plagiarize your work and so on if they see an opportunity to do so without consequences, because they have this need to get revenge against you for not conforming to the tribe or to prove they have nothing to do with an outsider. Many genuinely believe someone they find unfamiliar must be a bad person and react instantly to their neurotic feelings, never questioning them. To have to question them is an insult.

People don't change, just get old. Many people spend their whole lives the same moody teenager who hates everything.

>>81630482 (OP)
You people overuse that word far too much.
Someone who responds with an okay to your accusations isn't a narcissist, that's not how they work, they would have attacked you or made you feel bad for attacking them rather than just roll over and present their belly.
None of you are mental health professionals, stop labeling people.

>>81630788
not everyone who does that is a narc but narcs absolutely use this tactic, you can be conflict avoidant to protect yourself or you can do it to punish someone
>they would have attacked you or made you feel bad for attacking them rather than just roll over and present their belly.
stonewalling does this, it's a tool for control and manipulation

>>81631045
>stonewalling does this, it's a tool for control and manipulation
Stonewalling is more common in the avoidant or BPD, rarely do narcs do it. Avoidants always do it, or affection withdrawl.

>>81631160
The funny thing is that isolating someone, or exploiting someone's fear of being abandoned are some of the most commonly banned CIA psychological torture techniques. People with certain psychological profiles are the most vulnerable to this, and it's not narcs but avoidants and BPDs that exploit this the most (though narcs are always the worst overall). It is banned because it instills a state of learned helplessness in the victim, depersonalization, loss of self-identity, and loss of self-esteem. It can mentally ruin someone forever if they are susceptible.

>>81631160
>>81631232
it's the intent that makes it bad, they're both maladaptive coping mechanisms but the narcissist knowingly does it to hurt you, they'll even use your reaction against you later on to further disparage and crazymake you

they're one of the closest things to actual evil alongside sociopaths and psychopaths

>>81631268
I agree, but people downplay how awful being an avoidant or bpd are. Thier intentions aren't evil, but their actions can force a victim into suicide if their victim is isolated and dependant upon them. That's why exploiting abandonment is so powerful to force people to do what you want, and why some exploit it.

The only answer to a narcissist is violence.

>>81631335
yeah the effect isn't much different for their unsuspecting victim, but i assume there's actually a small chance of getting through to those types that wouldn't be possible with a narc

but even that is downplaying it like you said, yes they cause destruction all the same... it sux

>>81630482 (OP)
The only way you can win is to completely cut them off from your life and never look back

>>81630660
How would you differentiate "vulnerable narcissism" from normal anxiety, depression, introversion, autism, etc? Judging from the symptoms, it doesn't seem too far off from those things.
It basically sounds like a catch-all term for an unsure/unconfident person.

>>81630482 (OP)
You're trying to think like they are humans.
They are mere extractor bots, they want your resources/favours/status/admiration, anything that would benefit their position in the later rounds in the game.

Do not keep them in your life. If you are forced to interact them in a professional setting, do not get into their games or their level, keep shit civil and report abuse if there's witnesses.
If you have to interact them irl keep it to a minimum and play their game, give them admiration etc if they need it, don't let their opinions etc get to you, they are always playing an angle.

Remember, they are not human and should not be regarded as such.

>>81631707
i like them tho

this whole thread just makes narcs seem overpowered against the infinite random stupid bullshit you're trying to "hold them accountable for." Why should anyone let you "hold them accountable" for anything? Is that your job? Fucking social police niggers. What you see as a narc is probably just someone using every trick in the book to stop you from fucking with them. Crushing you like mosquitos before you can get your bites in.

>>81630482 (OP)
>How to win
By ignoring them. They get really mad when they stop getting attention

>>81630482 (OP)
You can't win against us. When we've devalued someone, we completely stop caring about what they think.

>>81632720
t. trooned out failure who won't do shit

>>81633185
>no arrow
lole

>how do you win against a narcissist
completely cut them out of your life, ignore them entirely. grey rock. narcissists thrive on attention, good or bad. when the attention dries up they rope.

>>81630482 (OP)
You need to be superior to them. Stronger and more beautiful. You need to shake their pride. I've had a narcissist friend before but since he was indeed better than me, I couldn't do anything besides praising him.

>>81630482 (OP)
Be a schizoid. They're so cold and emotionless that a narcissist's charm won't work. Neither will the guilt trip games. >>81632720 Thinks they're extremely clever up until they meet Mr. Schizoid who literally won't interact with them. Refuses their advancements of attention seeking and is impervious to the shame/blame tactics of a standard narcissist. They're like a Psyker believing they're the top dog but here comes a psychic null (the Schizoid) that just mutes them out.

>>81630482 (OP)
Physical beatings until they act human.

>>81633242
>>81632705
>>81631401
This. You dont win against a turd by handling it and trying to mold it into something worthwhile. You win against a turd by flushing it out of your life. Narcissism is one of the more difficult personality disorders to fix because it got taught at a very young age and is basically that person's last and only line of defense against unbearable feelings of shame and worthlessness. Asking them to stop being a narcissist is like asking someone to slit their own throat and smash their nuts with a hammer until they die. It's simply to painful and life-threatening for them to give up.

Your best bet is to ignore them and hope they find another narcissist or BPDemon to abuse instead of a normal person.

>>81631695
It's nearly impossible to tell the difference which is why popsci sucks. It's much like how people scream guilt trip if someone expresses discomfort at something that's genuinely hurting them, or because someone stood them up.

>>81630482 (OP)
You cant, they are a few degrees away from a sociopath

You do nothing and let them crash under their silly delusions

>>81630660
This board is filled with vullies so ....

>>81631368
>The only answer to a narcissist is violence
Agreed but you know they would immediately go cry to the cops(who are also highly narcissistic)

>>81630482 (OP)
Avoid them. Arguing with them is what they want. They thrive on conflict. Let them languish in isolation.

>>81635100
Corpses don't cry to the cops.

>>81630482 (OP)
Im working on some new ways to destroy narcissists.

>>81635079
This
>If you do something that hurts someone to the point they cry or express discomfort, that makes you feel guilty. They are a guilt tripping narcissist.
>If you blow off your promises, duties, and commitments and get called out for it. They are a narcissist exploiting obligation.
>If you don't like someone or they in anyway present a challenge they are a narcissist or BPDemon.
It's all so tiresome. Someone doesn't have a PD if they express emotions because you are bullying or being cruel to them.

>>81630482 (OP)
Narcissist is just a buzzword stupid people use against people they don't like. Words like Nazi and pedophile lose all meaning because the idiotic masses just want to feel justified for hating another human being so they'll do that.
As someone who gets called a "narcissist" constantly despite lacking many of the required traits required to diagnose someone with NPD, I can safely say that what you perceive as a narcissist is just a rude asshole with an ego.

If you want to understand or change someone maybe try stop dehumanizing them in your mind and make a genuine attempt at understanding the individual and why they do the things they do instead of just generalizing them in a way that fits your shallow little worldview.

>>81635249
>narcissist is just a rude asshole with an ego.

>>81635249
If I call somebody a fucking dickhead, that's just my opinion and I have to stand behind it. If I call somebody a narcissist, then my feelings about them are pre-validated, and there's no need for me to take ownership over them.

>>81633416
This is the reason narcs hate and bully schizoids. Narcs are good at manipulating normies to do their dirty work in forming mobs against schizoids. I had to work with a narc and thank fucking god they are too dumb and lazy to work on skills beside manipulation so I could have him removed for being an incompetent fool who almost ruined our company. He used all kinds of dirty tricks to sabotage my work but he was too dumb, got caught and got got. His favorite was to use semantic tricks to lie without technically lying, pretty awe-inspiring stuff to witness.
He was loud, morbidly obese and stinky. And not even the good kind of stinky.

>>81630482 (OP)
Stonewalling. Give them no ground, no emotion, no second thoughts, no joy or sadness, nothing. Don't initiate conversation. Answer all conversation initiated upon you by them with neutral, fast, dry answers, and leave. As soon as possible, cut them out of your life quietly and cleanly.

>>81630660
you are such a cringe, god damn, what's wrong with you?

>>81630482 (OP)
I'm working on a theory that narcissists carry a lot of shame because they are deeply closeted homosexuals.

op here, I blocked them anyways, they never really talked to me and took ages to respond unless it was something about how they looked or acted to a person they liked or something else, and it was starting to hurt my brain
>>81635249
well to me a narcissist is just a rude asshole with an ego
but yea, you pretty much don't win, cutting them off won't even make them sad probably, the only person who can beat them is time

>>81630482 (OP)
>how do you win against a narcissist
Ignore them.