so how was your day? did you do anything fun?

>>81653281 (OP)
well that's just semantics and one is shocking

>>81653281 (OP)
Went bowling. But i dunno why, i've been locked inside my house for so long that i genuinely didn't find it fun.

>>81653281 (OP)
went out with family, lil bro had his graduation from the military academy - guy's a full-fledged officer now

i hate going to these things because i'm reminded of how much of a loser i am
right when we got home, i locked my door and went straight to bed

Went to the San Mateo radio field day. Talked to other people. The radio club was full of ancient geezers, but at least they consider me a decent person. Made some contacts with other states and learnt how to log using logging software. Fun stuff.

>>81653311
I hate running into old friends or their families because I still feel the need to hide my loserness for some reason. They must know that I haven't done anything with my life by now but they still politely eat up my latest bullshit. Society is really a mysterious pain.

>>81653311
>i hate going to these things because i'm reminded of how much of a loser i am
not op, but i hate how much i relate to this. i did everything right, got a degree, behaved nicely, always tried to do my best, and i never got to make friends or have a girlfriend
now that i am old, i had to attend some relatives graduation, he was 18, did drugs, his grades were awful, he bullied his classmates, he commited a bunch of crimes. and there he was, surrounded by friends and his gf was texting him.
i am ashamed to say i cried a lot on my way home.

I went out to get a haircut at a salon. The qt employees were giving me compliments so I got a boner and I think the stylist noticed it as I was getting out of the chair... The haircut looks great though!

I did a backflip kick on a nigger and he soared through the air like a pancake flipflap

>>81653341
>They must know that I haven't done anything with my life by now but they still politely eat up my latest bullshit.
it was my bro's day so i didn wanna act up so much but it still hurt
put on my best suit and all, mom took a pic of me and holy shit i looked like a freaking goblin

>>81653342
same, man
my lil bro was like the most rebellious of the bunch; partied hard, took all kinds of drugs, had lots of sex, and now he's "reformed" of sorts - a man of discipline

here i am, the goody two-shoes, i did everything society told me and i'm still a fucking loser
and trying to claw my way out of it is hard since my own family is my obstacle - they WANT me to be a loser all my life

YOU don't get bored of that

>>81653281 (OP)
Trying not to let the anxious paradox effect me. Its a hellish loop really.
Staying in the sandpaper room sucks, but trying to get out sucks even more.

>>81653281 (OP)
I slept in till noon, did some work on my car, and played a game of basketball. First time on a team in a league. We won, and everyone was happy with my effort. After that I saw my aunt and uncle who were over for dinner. Then I went over to my friends house to watch some anime. We went to go get food, then the 5 of us went back again to his house to watch a bit of TV. I raced my friends mustang on the drive back from the bar and won so he said I'm insane or something (loser talk).
I only had one drink at the bar, and 0 drinks at buddies house because I've lost my drinking privledges based on some dumb shit I did last week. I drank at home, as I do, watched a bit of UFC and read the chans.

Overall decent day. I wish I would have woken up earlier, and talked to some of the attractive women at the bar, but that's okay.

>>81653293
go on!
>>81653305
I've never gone bowling I don't have any friends
>>81653311
I know that feeling I hate visiting my much more successful cousin
>>81653340
is that like a hobby or something?
>>81653345
I hate getting haircuts I don't like people touching me, sorry about the boner thing, that must be embarrassing, they probably didn't notice and they probably forgot by now!
>>81653351
that's not very nice!
>>81653405
anxious paradox? what is that???? I do know how it feels to be stuck in a loop though!

>>81653383
>look like a freaking goblin
man, I have to use all my training to avoid my picture being taken. I'm short and fat, of course, with big ears so the goblin effect is really noticeable.
Luckily I'm sort of muscular as a labor wagie so at least I'm a hob goblin type heh

>>81653383
>here i am, the goody two-shoes, i did everything society told me and i'm still a fucking loser
iktf we were lied to, we were promised a good life if we followed the rules!
IT WAS ALL LIES

and then all the fish got married. the fuck you think i'm talking about?

>>81653469
>anxious paradox? what is that?
"I feel sick.. its making me anxious... the anxiety is making me feel sick... Its making me more anxious."
and
"I feel anxious.. I worry it will get worse... my worry is making me more anxious... so it is getting worse.. its getting worse.. its getting worse."
and
"If I acknowledge my anxiety in any way.. that means its real.. if its real then I have to be worried about it... inevitably it gets worse."

its hell. I'm exhausted. But I need to believe that I can crawl out of this first before I actually can.
t. severe anxiety disorder.

>>81653394
NO :3
123456765432

>>81653505
ah yeah that... yeah I've been through that it sucks, I really wish I had any advice for you but I don't I just deal with the pain.

>>81653469
Yeah. Hamm radio is fun, but the FCC freaks don't allow us to swear on air

>>81653521
The advice is to be okay with feeling sick, worried, scared. Don't worry about worrying, don't be scared that you're scared.

I just need to learn to get used to it all.

Liking bitches on hinge. Not one like bite. This is more boring than fishing. Now gonna drink a few beers and go to sleep, least I got work tomorrow

foid loyalty programs usually work with value and not boon

>>81653281 (OP)
It was a nice day, I spray painted my gaming chair cuz it looked stupid with all the colors and shit, now it's black and I'm quite proud of what I did, now I have to use a pillow as a back rester cuz I break it while painting the thing, as to right now I'm very chill, real real chill, thanks for asking anon

>>81653603
that sucks, sucks that you have so censor yourself
>>81653606
oh so this is new to you? I've been dealing with it for my whole life I already got used to it :/
>>81653631
work on sunday ugh that sounds awful, been there though!
>>81653655
ok, thanks for the tip!

>>81653683
nice :D
I don't have a gaming chair, just a regular old desk chair, are they comfy? I don't know why but they give me the impression that they are not, could be wrong though

>>81653281 (OP)
>got up earlier like I normally do because I decide to work on Saturdays
>stopped by Dunkin on the way, picked up two egg croissants with no cheese (they didn't fuck it up this time)
>ate them while reading in the car before clocking in
>clocked in, worked about 3.4 hours
>went grocery shopping on the other side of the state
>came back, took a massive shit, rested for about 30 mins
>did my daily run...looked like it was about to start raining
>came back, showered, ate, started browsing 4chins while watching YouTube
>played vidya, stopped to watch some Kdrama, got back on 4chins
>youarehere.jpeg
Pretty typical Saturday. Doing laundry and grocery shopping some more several hours from now, again, on the other side of the state. It's an affluent side and I don't have to worry about running into coworkers. We're off next Friday, so I'll probably go to a certain book store. For now, I'm going to go meditate.

>>81653684
>oh so this is new to you?
A little. almost a year now since my mental break that caused all this fallout

>>81653703
did you work on a saturday as over time? also what vidya did you play? and what book do you plan on buying?
>>81653708
well I can tell you that eventually you do get used to it but there are certain days when it becomes intolerable but not for long luckily usually a couple of days, I've been dealing with this bullshit since I was 6

>>81653684
Yeah. Also the Santa Cruz radio club actually suggested that I join them on air during their Tuesday evening nets. I'm happy that at least some people want to talk to me.

>>81653701
And you're not wrong, they feel nice but long term they make your back uncomfortable, got mine for real cheap so maybe the more expensive ones feel great, desu I don't mind it's just a matter of fixing your posture a bit and then you sit again, I had an office chair before but shit was too old and it was starting to get really uncomfortable

>>81653739
oh nice, is it like an interview? what are you going to talk about? are you nervous?
>>81653749
ah I knew it!!! but yeah maybe the more expensive ones feel better! I've only had my office chair for like 2 years, it's ok, it's comfy enough, had to unbolt the arm wrests because they were hurting my elbows and made me have an even worse posture

>>81653281 (OP)
I got 130 bux at the casino then I did nothing all day, went out for a smoke then smoked weed and i found this song i really like
https://youtu.be/EBIRSs73TVE

>>81653281 (OP)
A sea monkey like me will never have a good day

>>81653840
oh lucky you!!! nice song btw, not really my style though.
I love showing this song to people
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ch-TDGW-zXs

>>81653884
why are you calling yourself a sea monkey?
and desu I haven't had good days in quite some time so you are not alone

>>81653281 (OP)
l literally touched grass

>>81653952
yeah I touched grass the other day, my life is still shit though :(

>>81653964
You know what they say, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

went to a different city and rode on some trails, saw a lot of plants birds people and nothing bad happened. it was a nice day

>>81654001
what am I suppose to do with lemonade?
>>81654002
that sounds nice! was it a special occasion?

>>81654032
nothing special, just felt like being in the world

>>81654071
I see, I wish I had a car to just fuck off somewhere on the weekends

>>81653342
>>81653383
hey im that guy and i hated it during those good times when i had the gf, the drugs, the fun, and i hated it afterwards. just sayin, it might look like a lot of fun but theres a good chance theres a bunch of shit lurking right under that surface. dont be so sure.