>>81703242
I think you should try to lose the weight again. Getting to a healthy weight won't automatically make your mental problems go away, but I found that at a lower weight physical tasks are less taxing, meaning that you have more energy to deal with mental issues. It seems like your mental issues are taking a greater toll on you than your weight, so I'd recommend trying to deal with that first. I've found that if I don't socialize enough, my mental problems get ten times worse, so I'd try to interact with others more and form friendships. I found that joining a church helped me a lot, the people there were very welcoming and it allows me to interact with a bunch of people who I otherwise never would've met. Church also helped me to feel more of a purpose in life, and while I still have issues with depression and self esteem, it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. I also have found that it's important to not place all of your value in how sexually desirable you are to women. I've dated two women in my life, didn't kiss either of them, and they both came out as lesbians after they broke up with me. For a while I had bad issues with self confidence because of that, but once I started thinking about myself outside of the context of being someone's romantic partner I was able to find more self worth. Similar to losing weight, getting a gf won't magically fix your mental issues, you're going to have to work on yourself either way. As much as fighting on two fronts sucks, I think it's better to focus on improving yourself mentally and physically at the same time. The pain of one can help you to ignore the pain of the other. Lastly, loose skin is a lot better than the same amount of skin stretched around fat. You won't be a monster because you have loose skin, it's a physical sign that you overcame your issue with weight. I know I'm just a stranger on the internet, but I really do hope you can loose the weight and / or get to a better mental space.
