>>81715904>What is your purpose then anon? To live long enough to find a purpose. I know it sounds schizophrenic without context but it's a goal I'm genuinely working towards.
>understand on a deeper level the motivations of adultsWere you OP or were you the 19 year old? You're giving adults way too much credit. Most of them are genuinely not that bright and don't have any deeper meaning besides sex/status, which they eventually give up on in their 50s. You don't need to talk to a fucking dog to understand its motivations in live, and most people are like this. They aren't really even capable of developing any deeper meaning. It's sad, really, because in times of societal decline (like this), sex/status are widely unobtainable, which is why you see so many people dropping out of society. Of course, there are a lot of people who have genuine reasons to give up on live (e.g. horribly abusive parents, physical deformities, assorted trauma), but that is not my impression of most run-of-the-mill losers. Motivation requires the intelligence recognize the beauty around you, and most people don't do that.
I don't have any specific advice, but in general, I would recommend just doing something new or breaking your routine, as this may teach you something new about yourself. Interpret that however you want, it might be completely useless. It's what helped me, anyway.