Thread 81739438

what is the worst thing that has happened to you /r9k/? for me it was balding, idk why but it completely messed my brain up in unreasonable ways and ive done really stupid things to stop.it

I know it's overdone but being born
There's no direction or reason for me to exist, my parents had no reason to give birth to me yet they still did. Nothing out of my reach is good at all, at least the things i can somewhat control like my education and staying in shape help me cope.

My mother insulting me by calling me a retard or asshole when I was 7, and I asked her why I couldn't insult her back, and she said she would beat my ass. She was kind of a cunt when I was growing up and still is, and she's never changed. Another fucked up thing that happened to me was when I was bullied by multiple people in 6th grade and got my ass beat for sticking up to one of them. Another fucked up thing was when my friends turned on me while living together and called me a school shooter after I told them I was moving out and wanted to know if they would cover the lease or not... that's all I wanted.

>>81739438 (OP)
the worst thing that *actually* happened to 99% of people is they have to wageslave. i could be balled, alone, , etc, and not KMS as long as my time was my own. but nothing... NOTHING is worse than being put to work

Telling my mom I was about to go on a date with a girl I met off Bumble, and calling it off when she said I could do better.

That was five years ago and I've never done anything intimate with a girl since. I'm so fucking lonely and it's all because I need my mom's approval to let someone else love me.

>>81739497
I get it's kind of shitty to work for soulless corporations but.... you know what, fuck it. People can't afford a house as easily w/o having a roommate or a partner to help w/ the bills, and A.I. is replacing jobs, even the ones that require college degrees.

>>81739438 (OP)
i take finasteride and i kept my hair im 34

>>81739438 (OP)
My mother passing away, many things left undone, real saddy shit

>>81739474
im glad you have copes:( i hope youre happy with life some day
>>81739492
thats all awful:(( have you found better friends?
>>81739497
ah... ya... work is awful alot of the time.
>>81739528
i take way stronger stuff than finasteride

>>81739547
im rly sry anon. id ask some questions, but idk if thatd be appropriate or hurt more... i hope youre ok:(

>>81739866
aww thanks for the attention anon, I'm very very far from okay btw and you can ask whatever you want, nobody asks me shit about it cuz guess what, there's nobody to ask shit, it's really tragic but I'll be there

>>81739914
ah ok... sad to hear your not doing so good:( were you close to her? and was it something that happened recently?

>>81739941
I'd say we were close yeah but at the same time idk, my relationship wit her was always weird, since I was kid she said and did some real hurtful shit, grew up, started livng with my grandma and things were somewhat normal I even got a job and all but then she got cancer and over two years I watched her decay and a bunch of things happened, she died last year but still hurts alot for a bunch of reasons and weird shit and I've been "spiraling" since. The only reason I'm telling you this shit its because i'm intoxicated and that makes me talk like a dumbass about shit that only I can care about, but like I told you, i'll be there

>>81740019
i see, its ok to talk about these things anon, i care!!! i wouldnt be reading and responding if i didnt. its sad to hear ur spiraling, ik what its like. i hope you can make it out of the spiral soon, theyre such an awful thing.
did you two reconcile before her passing?

>>81739438 (OP)
>the worst thing that happened ot me was balding
holy shit you are SPOILED

>>81740054
i mean, i guess i am. only other bad things that have happened to me were getting bullied in school and my parents divorcing. neither did the mental damage balding did tho.

>>81740046
>did you two reconcile before her passing?
not really and that hurts, when she was in agony she was on a fuckton of painkillers and that type of shit to not feel the unbearable pain she was going through, tried to talk to her one last time around there and we talked but yknow, she wasn't here to put it in a way, tried to say sorry and she just said it was okay and all, it was a sad farewell and then she died like two days later, weird times and everything changed, I still feel it was deeply unfair, she wasn't good really but neither was I, she went through a lot in his life and was unfair for her to just die like that, yknow that feeling torns you apart and shit, I don't know why it hurts so much but it does anon, and once again thanks for the attention

my dad raped me a whole bunch of times from ages 4-16

Losing $50000
I will never recover

>>81740100
you dont need to thank me anon:) this all sounds really painful, i cant even imagine going through something like it with my mom. it hurts to even think about. im glad you got to spend some time with her tho before she passed, maybe it made it easier for her? even if you didnt reconcile. i hope you find some peace with everything:(
>>81740110
D: idk what to even say, are you in therapy or anything???
>>81740112
howd that happen..? :(

>>81740150
>idk what to even say, are you in therapy or anything???
lmao that's pussy shit. I just rawdog my trauma like a big boy. it helps that my dads dead so I don't have to deal w him anymore

>>81739854
I got one best friend and 2 others that are dependable for when you need something and will let you hang out if I call (they don't call me first, it's always me), and 2 more that aren't so dependable when I want to hang out but are still cool w/ me being there. However, I've been thinking about going to college in Minnesota (born and raised there) and it's kind of a hard pill to swallow. Advance my career and increase my wages, or move into a smaller house, hope nothing breaks down for a while (including your car), and live on somewhat easy street. I mean, I'd move into a smaller house regardless, but my thing is that taxes will increase, and I'm afraid of something big breaking down and I never have enough money at the moment, and I have to use credit... sorry for all this if this is too much.

>>81739854
Another thing to add: stick around where I'm at because of my friends or try to better myself thru college? That's my ordeal, though I'm leaning towards college since my friends can only do so much for me.

>>81739438 (OP)
My wife fell out of love with me which was way worse than when she died
She stopped sucking my dick when we got married
From there it just kept going downhill
Some months we would have sex only once. Sometimes once a week. It was very very bad

>>81741172
One of my worse fears is a sexless marriage.

>>81739438 (OP)
>My parents and grandpa dying
>Rapidly baldceling in my mid-20s
>Never escaping manletdom
>Never having an unpaid fuck; now 38yo
>Being an autist who can never make money

Probably finding this website. Before that I wasnt anywhere near as insecure about my height or race or dick size. I guess I deserve it for letting an image board get to me but I would be lying if it hasnt managed to break me mentally.

>>81740112
I know that feel. I lost all my savings (60k) by investing in a shitty overpriced house. The worst part is that I can only blame myself for buying it so the feeling of shame is extra painful.

Getting bullied and humiliated at age 10 for being a mouthy kid by older kids, and it transforming me from sociable arrogant child to a complete shut in, culminating in the stunted mess I am today 20 years later.

>>81740506
idk if that is a good idea... but i hope ur doing well that way
>>81740657
>>81740664
i see, well... advancing your career might be the best move? if money is already a struggle prob best to make it a priority? but idk... gl whatever you do anon!!
>>81741172
aw:( i hope you find a more happy marriage, if you intend to look again
>>81741266
thats all awful. can relate to the balding and manletdom, fixed the former with drugs that prob caused more problems in the long-run but is what it is.
>>81741310
how long have you been here?

>>81741416
ah:( had that happen to me too:/ struggle to open up with people!!

>>81739438 (OP)
>what is the worst thing that has happened to you /r9k/?
My older brother used to beat me a lot. I had nightmares of being strangled for years and I still start crying if I hear people yelling, even if it's not related to me. We ok now though.

learning to read too soon, read a book my older brother got when i was 4, and that book was about the intelligence of animals. That book said that one of the biggest differences between humans and animals is, that humans know that they will die one day, even if they are completely healthy in the moment. That smacked me in the face so hard and i became completely dissociated and since then im stuck in a perpetual existential crisis. Ofcourse that made me weird and very removed from my peers, because i didnt see a sense in anything and i just couldnt get that fact out of my head even from that young age. Now i have copes and can live with it, but my formative years were completely fucked and im not well adjusted. Beside that i would have had good conditions for growing up well adjusted, nice parents, peaceful neighbourhood, stuff like that. But that fucking book ruined it all. Looking back everything stems from that book

>>81739438 (OP)
For me it my sea monkey life

>>81739854
gynoanon..?

>>81742283
mr. sea monkey can you tell me your lore
does sea mean south east asia

I recently kissed my best friend and now we're dating and I am kicking myself for not kissing him sooner so that :)

>>81742364
>does sea mean south east asia
Yes

>>81742734
do you not like being from SEA?
you don't have to answer if you don't want to if it's a sensitive topic i just see u posting and i'm curious

>>81742792
Yes, anon I hate it here. Not only I'm from SEA but I'm also in one of the worst countries in the region.

>>81742907
which country? why is it the worst

The time I got beaten by my mother for almost half an hour
A close second is when a couple of dudes tried to rape me 3 days after the first event

>>81739438 (OP)
its hard to pinpoint one, but if i had to choose one then probably when i failed to pass the last year of middle school and i had to repeat it. i got put in a new class full of assholes, i knew nobody except my 1 friend (he also failed like me) and i think that year of school traumatized me somehow. i have never been the same since then. its when everything started going to shit.

>>81739438 (OP)
Wasting years of my life I think.
Falling into a hole of self neglect which resulted in self destruction.

>>81739438 (OP)
Seeing my receding hairline at 18 (meaning I started balding years before) raped my mind. Felt like I had a limb rotting off

>>81743789
>which country?
I'm not gonna tell you which country
>why is it the worst
The government is corrupt to the core. The president makes his son the next president by placing him as the leader of his party the only party people will vote for, since all the other parties are terrible. His family controls the entire country. I don't know why there's a king in my country he doesn't even do anything. You can go to jail for criticizing their politics. The people are delusional and still believe this country is strong. I hope no one guess my country right because I might go to fucking jail and I don't want to get rape

>>81744367
thats messed up anon i'm sorry
i mean u probably shouldn't post about this stuff online without some kind of VPN or something but idk if that's illegal
plus idk if they could get 4chan to give ur ip

>>81739438 (OP)
Started tweakmaxxing.
Everything went downhill from there

>>81744006
mine started actually falling out before 18

>>81745401
I *noticed* when I was 18, so mine probably did too. Was it diffuse thinning, or normal MPB? How's your hairline now?