I've put a shotgun in my mouth safety off loaded like 20 times, but I can't get my finger to move one iota to depress the trigger.

I'm trying to will my hand to move, but it won't.

I don't know what else to conclude from this other than free will being a lie.

What do I do now that I am LITERALLY trapped being alive for another 70 years

you have a shotgun? you should uhh nevermind

please fucking help me dsfasdfasdf

>>81760942 (OP)
please don kill yourself :((

don't* I mean

>>81760942 (OP)
what's got you ready to go?

>>81762045
I resent being alive, I never asked to exist and everything that comes with that. I wish I was aborted

>>81762074
but you get to play cool video games and jack off. isn't that pretty good? is there anything you like about being alive

>>81760942 (OP)
>I have instincts
baby's first nihilism

>>81760942 (OP)
treat your depression anon

dont give up hope that you can beat

find a doctor to help you along the way

>>81760942 (OP)
Think about all of those who did it before you and how quick it was for them. Maybe streaming it will help?

Hey man. Call a su hotline just google for your country. Theyre there just to talk and vent with you. You can beat it man, dont give up.

>>81760942 (OP)
That's most everyone, OP. If we didn't have irrational survival instincts there would be way more suicides.
The people who actually commit suicide are generally understood to have brain problems that allow them to act more impulsively to go for the kill despite those survival instincts normally functioning as guardrails against suicide.
It's why planning on killing yourself on some future date is a bad idea. Most people who do that won't actually kill themselves when that date arrives so they'll end up fucking up their lives in the meantime thinking it won't matter only to realize it did matter and they're stuck with the consequences of still living for another 50 years.

>>81763106
Are there any drugs or substances that can force my brain to be in a state that will ignore survival instincts so I can will my fingers to depress the trigger?