genuinely think i'm going insane, bros

>>81779545 (OP)
Why are you going insane?
How is your nutrition and exercise?
How are your career and interpersonal goals?
Are you happy? Do you feel like you can leave an impact on this world?
How is your relationship with God?

I cracked 2 years dont let it happen anon

its a sign of the times
spin spin spin out
everything is insane you're just normal
the voices make more sense than the world
been off my meds for a long time. the trick is to stop thinking about your own mind and let it just hobble along in its awkward broken state. doctors will sabatoge you

>>81779545 (OP)
>genuinely
go to therapy

>>81779628
>Why are you going insane?
It's like... I feel like it's my first day on Earth
I used to not give a fuck, like at all - ever since I could remember, I just didn't care for everything/one - and one thing about not giving a fuck, it sorta makes you... confident
Folks tell me I'm ugly? who gives a shit
Folks tell me I'm weird? yeah, I know

These past few days, I don't know what triggered it but I started to... care. I've started to "notice" of sorts. This might sound like some schizo babble but holy shit man, I feel so fucking confused
>How is your nutrition and exercise?
Now that I "care" - I'll admit its shit
>How are your career and interpersonal goals?
I'm a student right now, like I said not giving a fuck meant "eh, I'll just do this and we'll see how it goes" but fuck me, man - I just realized this is it, this is going to be my future
>Are you happy? Do you feel like you can leave an impact on this world?
No, I'm mad, I'm sad, I'm confused, I'm scared, I'm anxious - it's like I just gained consciousness for the first time in my life
>How is your relationship with God?
I'm starting to believe again for now...

>>81779706
>dont let it happen
One wrong move and I might end up in a psych ward haha

>>81779743
Fuck man, i never had a voice telling me shit but deep down, there is this *flame* that's telling me to fix my shit

>>81779744
I've got a session this Saturday
I need to ask him about this shit

>>81779789
>Fuck man, i never had a voice telling me shit but deep down, there is this *flame* that's telling me to fix my shit
thats not insanity thats just motivation lol. that's your conscience have you seriously never felt it before?

>>81779745
I like to think that the questions that I asked aren't just questions, but a roadmap to a better life.
When you were a kid, did you have an idea of what you wanted to be when you grew up? Do you have an idea now? Does your degree match that, or would a credit transfer be in order?

>>81779815
>that's your conscience have you seriously never felt it before?
no, I am... I *was* a man with no morals, I shut it all off - I was the fucking stone in my family because I took it all and I felt nothing could hurt me

I might show it physically but it was all an act, deep down I never cared for folks
Now, something *clicked* and fuck me, man - I'm scared as shit

>>81779827
>When you were a kid, did you have an idea of what you wanted to be when you grew up?
It's coming back to me; doctor, teacher, jobs that contribute something back to society, y'know?
>Do you have an idea now?
With this new feeling inside, yeah
>Does your degree match that, or would a credit transfer be in order?
It matches, I got lucky I guess - I'm gonna do my best, anon

>>81779874
>I might show it physically but it was all an act, deep down I never cared for folks
>Now, something *clicked* and fuck me, man - I'm scared as shit
that fear is part of the thrill of being alive. now is your time to really live: to be who you want to be.
That feeling in your heart is your path to happiness. You don't get that many chances in your lifetime. Follow it, even though you're scared.

>>81779915
I've just been looking at my face in the mirror and made all sorts of emotions - like, I never really stopped to do that sorta thing and I never realized I could *convey* such and such emotions
>thrill of being alive
You can say that again, man
It's exhilirating

Like, now I realize what's actually *wrong* with me and what steps I can take to improve my life, like, change for the better y'know?

>>81779969
>Like, now I realize what's actually *wrong* with me and what steps I can take to improve my life, like, change for the better y'know?
absolutely. but awareness is just a step. you have to take action, today. go for a walk and sit down somewhere beautiful. bring a notepad and come up with a plan for what you're going to do tomorrow to be happier

>>81779973
thanks man
you may be Anonymous on this site, but in my heart you're the anon who helped

God bless, man

>>81780016
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOOhPfMbuIQ
lots of love anon. wagmi!
"Good moral character is not something that we can achieve on our own. We need a culture that supports the conditions under which self-love and friendship flourish."

-Aristotle

>>81779545 (OP)
I'm not yet insane and if I am insane I will kill myself

>>81779545 (OP)
same here
i'm giving up hope on ever not being alone
been in a lot of pain for like a month now and even trying out new stuff to meet people online and it's just not working
the things that used to distract me from being lonely are fading away or i don't care for them anymore

>>81779874
>I'm gonna do my best, anon
That's good. Don't forget that God is your helper.

>>81779545 (OP)
>Irony poisoned faggot posting cats