Thread 81794912

Frem ver.

Previously on /r9gay/
>>81775042

>>81794912 (OP)
Need bunnymutt to cosplay this for me

I'm gonna kidnap and rape the first person in this thread that gets digits

Having sex soon, wish me cock

How do I hit on a male friend that I don't know the sexuality of without chasing him away.

Dying alone and taking it easy

>>81794954
Finally, I'm getting a boyfriend!

>>81794989
*wrong buzzer sound* roll again

>>81794986
You should be taking it hard up the ass like everyone in that shitty thread

>>81794996
I've made a typo, if I wouldn't I would've gotten the 88...

>>81794691
good post nonny, we need more positivity around here.

>>81794912 (OP)
stop posting feet images they draw in prison gay gooners like me to the thread

>>81795014
>>81795018
Tfw no barefoot bf

Yeah remember to be nice to bad faith trolls and spammers that will show them the way I'm sure. It definitely helps to give them attention so they repeat same shit for 10000th time

I know it's unpopular to admit it but bunnymutt makes some based posts

Making ita bags is fun
Being obsessed with fictional characters is good

>>81795041
Bunnymutt isn't here anymore sorry anon to break the news to you but he left a long time ago

>>81795027
Taking off bfs socks is hot

I need my shift to be over so I can go home and cry alone while holding my big hippo plushie

>>81795063
Unf yes. I like to lightly rake my fingertips along his soles as I do it to make him shiver

I broke the thread's dubs virginity uh oh

Hope brad leaves next he is boring and annoying

>>81795055
You're about to be obsessed with a real character very soon. See you tonight <3.
>>81794954

Meow meow I'm a stupid whore yay meow

>>81795029
this thread has been taken over by ai and discord rejects. sad days

My old freshman roommate's former best friend called me today and asked me if I needed help with financial planning.
It felt weird to be having one of those "old college acquaintance has a business proposal" moments but also no one has called me in five years so I went along with it anyways because it was nice to have someone ask how I was doing.

>>81795079
He deserved to be raped by 3ds this is fact

>>81795005
If he didn't enema first (or never does) you are going to wind up with poopdick. You do realize that don't you?

>>81795143
Take a shower afterwards.
Easy.

>>81795143
poop can washed off and if you play in the mudpit you can't expect to stay clean.

The memories we made, fade
I realize we'll never be the same
Why cant you see my view?
Eye to eye, whats fake, whats true
https://youtu.be/78BLXuOqjo8

Hoooooly this is beautiful. Now I have another somg for when I feel sad ^_^

>>81795162
>>81795163
Okay... but what if the shower doesn't get everything: e.g., his poop somehow is inside of your urethra and you get an infection from it? What then

What if the woman you fuck has a nasty yeasty pussy? What then?

>>81795211
Anon you read too many fantasy novels. You have such silly fantastical innocent ideas. This is why we love you.

>>81795221
Well you make a loaf of bread from it obv

>>81795143
As a top I'm fine with poop dick and expect it to happen I'm even intending it to happen because of my rape fetish I want to fuck a bottom up the ass without him expecting it and cleaning himself

Nasty ass poop lovers need to leave this thread. Reminder it's foot and oral only

r9gay should eat more fiber
You lot hardly brush your teef though so oral might be a no-no as well..

Many years ago, I had a friend, a dear friend. I turned him in to save his life, but he was killed. But he wanted it that way. It was a great friendship. But it went bad for him, and it went bad for me too.

Good night, Mr Bailey.

>>81795288
What do you mean you turned him in and he was killed

I once talked to a bottom who had his bowel movements down to a science so he could do anal safely at anytime and it was the most disgusting shit I ever heard a bottom tell me

>>81795285
Thank you for reminding me, it's been like three days

>>81795308
perhaps

back to smoking opium in my brothel

having the rare cigarette and listening to music while on my windowsill and all of a sudden my life is at peace. life is just for moments like this

>>81795354
is it weird for you when brits call cigs fags?

>>81795320
Honestly I'm kinda jelly because I would love to have my bowel movements down to a science, but I would never bottom.

>>81795383
no, i'm a britfag myself so its something I grew up with. it's just a word at the end of the day

Another day of pedaling and lifting my litter bag. I'm up to 40 reps now. Maybe should I get some proper weights next since I will never go to a gym.

>>81795427
Why not just go to a gym though

Nta but I'm too shy and worried about being made fun of for my height and strength and ugliness at a gym especially if there's any gay twink bottoms there I don't think I could handle it mentally

>>81795458

because it was would be a waste, you know I could never go and work out in public. I would be too nervous and likely get too hot. At home I can least quit if I get overheated and not have to drive anywhere.

>>81794912 (OP)
If you're attracted to this, you are hetero in denial

>>81795522
WRONG I am a straightsexual and I'm 100% attracted to anime boy feet and irl twink feet so sorry but you're wrong there bud

>>81795522
>hetero in denial
Yeah, no shit, this is r9gay. Who else did you think was going to be here?

If you aren't gay in the way I want you to be, then you aren't gay
Simple as

>>81795522
This is postwall roast logic

I'm a hertosexualhomesexual. I am only attracted to straight men.

I'm memeing but that's how it always turns out

>Too straight for the gays
>Too gay for the straights
C'est fini

>>81795564
I just wanted to let you know that I am straight and have been straight my entire life and that I'm saving this image

I just want to kiss a man and hear him say he loves me please for the love of god

I'm too much of a manlet to ever be considered a man by a bottom

>>81795018
prison gay gooners are 90% of your thread at this point, place has absolutely gone to the dogs this last month

>place has absolutely gone to the dogs this last month
>this last month

Does he know?

WHY WONT THEY LET ME LEAVE
WHY

>>81795872
Meow when he wants to BBC post on r9gay from the insane asylum

>>81795846
i've never seen so many anime girls and shitty /v/-tier erp attempts being made but you can cope with these freaks however you want, maybe the cancer will be gone after summer

I want to take a shower so bad I've sweated like 5 gallons of water today I've already taken two showers God this sucks I want to die I hate it

I want a bf but don't feel like I deserve one until I meet my goal weight aughh
How do I get the motivation to diet and exercise properly, especially the diet part idk why I'm too retarded to just starve like every twink does

I had great fun shooting my new ar today, I would have taken some pics but the boomers at the range hate that so no.

Not really having much fun painting. Maybe my ever present impatience that had challenged me throughout my life is coming back to bite me in the ass or maybe I just chose some shitty paint for brushing.

>>81794912 (OP)
Fuck you all gaycel niggas for not dating me. I'm gonna go date a short asian bitch and fuck her in the ass exclusively.

ywn be a young boy in ancient greece, son of a famous war hero, who skips out on his tutoring lessons to explore the slums and becoming enchanted with a young iberian slave playing in the shadows of the tenements, cornering him and demanding he be your companion, awkwardly trying to communicate how you feel as you fumble and wrestle and explore each other's bodies, falling in love as he teaches you his strange, beautiful language, falling asleep in the hay of some stranger's barn you broke into to enjoy eachother away from prying eyes, his head resting against your bare chest, his soft breathing cementing your resolve to claim him as your betrothed no matter what your family might say, only to be brought with your father to war and die on the battlefield, never seeing your iberian lover again

>>81795951
Unless you could appear on My 600 Lb Life just fucking exercise and watch your calories. Starving will just fuck yourself over and could lead to a rebound.
Consistency is the key.

I wish I knew how to properly count and manage calories, of course I would also need willpower to not eat until I'm stuffed full.

>get a long weekend from work
>fwb is too busy to hang out
Rewatching old comedies and playing beat em ups just isn't the same alone

>>81794912 (OP)
I never used this board before, but I agree with licking pretty male feet

>>81796504
that's so based, glad you had fun :D

and its mine mine mine

>>81795951
do people starve on purpose? i always do that because its impossible to remember to eat while im playing videogame or lying in bed

>>81795825
>the remaining 10% is normalfags and discord teens
the gay robot has become a theoretical...

>>81797399
Girls fags and trans people absolutely do because they have high proportions of body dysmorphia but idk about other demographics

>>81797822
most girls are fat or at least fatter than men on average

>>81795204
i didnt think the tick noise was part of the song at first. grossed me out. thankfully it turned into a 10 pretty fast

>>81797822
i think most guys would be unhappy with a starving physique but i guess im probably putting too much focus on the wording

im sinking again

Sometimes I say at loud things I need to do often in an aggressive tone. Like somebody else is in me and aggressively guiding me in life.

>>81798202
same actually. do you talk to yourself about other things

>>81798251
Sometimes I guess, I can't really remember well.

If we dated we would have 4 bfs in total

>>81798259
well 4 bfs at minimum :p
(no slutting)

>>81798299
happy personality top
angry personality top
happy personality bottom
angry personality bottom

which is the best pairing :P ? ofc I'm not no slut...

>>81798321
well id say happyxhappy is the best but i can see the potential in the other pairings. i would prefer my bf to happy at least, i can be a little angry >:)
im a bottom if forced to pick btw

>>81798392
happy is best. Sorry I just jerked off and feel super lightheaded and just want a bf to come big spoon me or lay on top on my back.

>>81798448
well i would do either of those. do you want to lay in silence or should i try to find some screeching youtubes

>>81798448
stand up real quick. just stand up, and stretch. get your arms up for a second atleast

>>81798552
dont talk to my new bf you freak

>>81798562
shh im trying to make then brown out. low blood pressure, stand up, lowers blood pressure harder, wew dizz-
then you wake up on the floor, everybody doing the dinosaur

>>81798709
wait thats what brown out means?

>>81798534
lay in silence and maybe listen to rain asmr on youtube
>>81798562
If that's true, can I have your discord tag? I'm gonna sleep soon...

>>81798745
like black out but not as hard. when you get dizzy and faint and almost fall over, or do, but you dont actually "black out"

how many discord tags did brad collect in his years of whoring himself online?

>>81798774
millions maybe even billions

>>81798748
i dont have a discord :< but i can do some silence. im just a little embarrassed to recommend my video feed. goodnight anon

>>81798774
>>81798779
watch who you call yo homie

>>81798772
i guess that makes sense. ive heard the term alot but i never understood what its supposed to be compared to a black out. i would call a mini blackout like that a blackout btw

>>81796801
Really cute and nice post anon

>>81798774
im not brad either. sorry anon

My mom said she doesn't want me getting a job because she's worried I'd get an injury from pushing carts. Like okay bitch? You ain't giving me money to support my children (transformers).

I'm gonna go fill out resume and get a bank account opened tomorrow hopefully. Gotta really drill it in her head to help me with that.!

>>81798848
my mom doesnt want me to get a job either. she just says i wont like it though. i dont need a job because of that though, your mom wont give you money?

>>81798900
My mom gives me a measly allowance sadly.

It's over for manchild gaycels

>>81798907
im the last manchild gaycel and i get infinite funds u_u
you should tell mom to get a second job

After careful consideration, i have decided to open applications for the boyfriend position. We kindly request applicants to complete the form linked below as fully as possible.
our team will review your information as carefully as possible and, if selected, you'll be notified soon.
for any questions, please reply to this post.

thank you for your time and understanding.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQ1h9qmiZ0-1gzSolICipU1x7kmpjX7RyV4Wh_qcTQawmA2A/viewform?usp=header

>>81798981
>google
why do you hate me

God I hate working so much. I wanna stay in bed reeeeee

i wish i had an online friend i could care about

>>81799069
we are not aware of other, more privacy friendly, options.
for our safety, the google account associated with the form has been created especially for this purpose in an effort to preserve our anonymity and privacy.
we advise applicants to complete the form using a throwaway google account made on a tor connection.

haha holy shit. so i just sat down to eat muh chicken sam and tatertots from the nice grocery store deli and in the dark i felt it all slide from my lap and hit the floor, like the sound of my stomach dropping in real time. then i looked. and that paper they put in the box to control the condensation? nearly every single tater tor and the entire sammich landed on that paper and remained completely perfectly intact and sound.

pic related, i had picked up the sammich of the paper already for security

>>81798981
>male
Yes
>europoor
No
>age
20
>location and race
american white mexijew
>position
top
>weight
around 80 kg, I am a tall man
>bf and bmi
20 body fat percentage if I had to guess. 21 bmi.
>lift
Occasionally, I need to go more to the gym more often to lose my fatassness.
>hobbies and interests
transformers, lego, painting minis, old music nobody cares about, sometimes digital art design
>ideal partner
smaller than me, white, colored eyes, no glasses, cute voice. Non black hair pls.
>drugs?
Only prescribed medication.
>mental illnesses
autism, depression, adhd, ocd, and most likely bipolar disorder.
>discord
@methodsofdance

>>81799192
three tots lost? id kill myself on the next order

im not putting my credentials into a public-anonymous forum u_u

sorry I'm a racist little autistic jew rat, I hope you can forgive me one day...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVqOJGDrRXU

>>81798806
>a mini blackout
lel. also in terms of the power grid, ever had the power fluctuate and ALMOST go out, but basically everything remains on after flickering a shitload? they use this as well for city wide or state/national power grids. "sorta goes down in bits but never completely".

>>81799254
thank you for submitting your application.
our team has carefully reviewed your information.
Unfortunately we only accept europoor applicants and we cannot approve applications from individuals living in other locations.
thank you for your understanding.

>>81799363
Such is the way of life.

>>81798981
if i open this link in firefox and im already logged into gmail will this just automtically somehow share my email address like it did the last 4 fucking motherfucking times for fu

>>81799357
i have experienced that but ive never been warned of it

>>81799363
What about Europeans living in USA temporarily

My name is Edwin

my name is gareth

>>81799380
we do not collect any such information and, as far as we are aware, sharing email address with us through google isn't necessary to complete the form as this option can be unchecked while submitting the form.
for more information please don't hesitate to inquire.

>>81799450
we can accept such applicants provided they are not strongly pigmentaed/melanineated.

>>81799513
what about an american that moves out to you

>>81799513
im not pigmentaed/melanineated where do i apply without google

>>81798981
I fucking love filling in forms, but at the same time i dont actually want to be on a bf applicant list, especially if its one looking for a top. Hard call.

>>81799524
we believe it is best if all applicants are based and/or have their primary/home residence in the European continent at the time of applying.
We strive to improve the chances of a positive outcome and we believe that ease of access plays a crucial role in that effort.
we thank you for your understanding.

>>81799539
thank you for your question.
we currently support applications via google form and via replies to our original post in this thread.
we are thrilled to learn more about you.

>>81798822
Thank you I worked hard on it

>>81798848
Wtf? You have a strange family.
>>81798940
I have a job and I'm still the world's worst man child, don't count me out just cause I pay for my own children's toys.

>>81799756
what do you want to know apart from the google? i live in usa but im a uk citizen, i can move by 2026, im vers

>>81799799
id never count you out because youre paying for your childrens toys. that seems like a good thing. you dont seem like much of a manchild tho

>>81799841
You have no idea how pathetic and irresponsible I am

>>81799873
and you have no idea how pathetic and irresponsible i am :))

https://youtu.be/-M3BR_QyTns
>tfw no bf who can cosplay and do cute dances

>>81799897
Um I can dress like a slob and roll around on the floor does that count?

>>81799897
this is too avatarlike for me to make them bfs desu desu

Bf application poster is cute he managed to somehow not come off as cringe despite the odds heavily stacked against him

>>81799931
My bf would agree usasaki-san is the cutest thing ever

>>81799946
my bf has 3 funny mispronunciations for that and every one is really funny with the additional commentary...

Unless you're a barely functional schizo or something you don't have any real issues if you're under 25. You have time on your side. Imagine trying to start over at 30 with no work experience, no bf and a declining mental health while being poor and without a degree or skills. You don't know what real hopelessness feels like nor will you ever because all of your issues are products of your inaction or bad decision making. No places for real robots no more.

>>81799986
>my inaction and poor decision making is cooler and more valid than your inaction and poor decision making because I'm OLD
Go cry more, grandpa. You were exactly the same as us at 25, and we'll be exactly the same as you at 30. You're not special.

>>81799986
oh? im a 32 year old wizard and i have faith in my ability to woo the church ladies and find a comfy paycheck for the next so many years... actually i already have them; im just sooo busy

Fuck it's so cozy and this couch is so soft I need a heavy boy to sit on my lap and drape himself over me I need to buried under a cute fuzzy belly or I'm going to die

>>81800004
Except most of faggots crying over non issues here move on and find success with minimal effort. Believe what you want but sometimes against your best effort to fail you somehow still keep succeeding. Talk to me in 5 more years.

what about the 0.001% real gay robots like me who cant find anyone in their town

>>81797399
Yeah same, I lost quite a bit of weight just by skipping out on breakfast and generally eating less

>>81800420
i dont normally eat breakfast i usually eat what mom makes me for dinner and sometimes a snack after that

>>81798981
I've done my part :D

hubby? help me set a son for our little sunny

>>81800397
Dude my town has like 12k population. There's NO ONE HERE

>>81800512
apparently my town has a 1.2k population ;(

>have to work 2 weeks with only 2 days free starting monday
yay

https://youtu.be/ziZQ3bODW3U
What do you mean you can watch kickboxing instructionals from world famous champion yuki yoza for free on YouTube? I know what I'll be doing next time I go to the gym

>>81800531
You're in hell buddy, even more than me :<

>>81800603
welcome to the real world lol

>>81800708
I wish I could get into gym stuff like this but as a 5'5 manlet top there'd be no point

>>81801011
my bf is 5'0" and he still goes there

>>81801018
Yeah but is he a top?

>165 cm top
UwU

>>81801030
we switch time to times but usually he is the top. I am 5'8

>>81801052
His height and strength don't matter since he bottoms and your point is invalid there is no point in me going to a gym as a 5'5 manlet top it's over

older taller bottom x shorter younger top

>>81801135
I agree with this except about the older part I'd prefer my bottom not to be a used up whore but I know that's impossible since all bottoms are whores so maybe I'm asking too much

>>81801191
Hey, I'm old and pure!

I don't care if my bottom is older as long as he's willing to cuddle me

>>81801135
Truly the gold standard

>>81801051
Perfect dom top height

Another day of trying to get into better shape ahead. I still need to mow the grass but it's way too hot for me, unless I wait until the very last part of the day but by then I've had dinner and don't feel like it.

Cute boys with dominant personalities

drinking lots of water and breaking my fast tonight with Fish.

>>81801197
I seriously doubt that
>>81801566
I always forget the catholic rule where I'm not allowed to eat meat on fridays even though I manage to do the 2 month fasting shit just fine

>>81801667
Understandable but incorrect!

>>81801667
>I always forget the catholic rule where I'm not allowed to eat meat on fridays
It's my favourite catholic rule honestly. I went to a catholic high school so the food was actually eatable on a friday!! it cemented my love for fish

wow a catholic brit, I feel like that should be rare given the historical issues there.

Wish r9gay had flags

>>81801718
When I was fasting I got to eat fish and chips every friday for almost 2 months it was great

The issue with femboys who have an old-ugly-bastard fetish, is that they use you just for sex.
They don't even think about cuddling or romancing you.

DYEL twink top with huge cock x muscle bottom with big ass

I'm an ugly bastard who would love to cuddle and romance, unless you mean the other way around.

>>81801792
>tfw i'm not fat or ugly enough as a top to have sex with a femboy bottom

>>81801800
I sadly do mean it the other way around, anon :(
Have you ever met a boy who fetishizes your looks?

>fubs are the ones being used just for sex
lmao

>>81801734
>wow a catholic brit
i wouldn't identify as catholic now, more so agnostic.
>>81801737
why would we need flags?
>>81801761
god that sounds so fucking good. battered fish is my favourite food and i love tuna so much too. AND SALMON!!!!!!!!!
>>81801792
your problem is going for femboys, anon. they're porn rotted and disgusting.

Every bottom I've talked to has told me they don't like body hair or facial hair so now I'm trying to figure out how to keep my chest and face and crotch entirely hair free at all times just so I even have a small chance at having sex

>>81801902
You're talking to some weird bottoms

This is what the ideal bottom looks like

If you can get off to ai sloppa you have a brain disease

The amount of body hair and fat you can have and still be attractive is proportional to your physical fitness.

>>81801737
But then meow would know where I'm from and that would be no fun

>>81802129
>meow
He's dead jim

Find me one real life dude who has an ass like that and is that hot. It doesn't exist. That's why AI can make it exist.

>>81801900
But you are a femboy yourself

jonah reminds me of james charles
he's so yassified with those DSLs

>>81802143
Ok but I liked making fun of the fin and him not knowing where I'm from made it more enjoyable

>>81801737
Since I'm a top all the bottoms would just use any information about me like that to harass me and abuse me because bottoms are manipulative and abusive towards tops

>>81802158
we all already know where you're from tho

>>81801737
Since I'm a bot human posters would just use information about me like that to harass and abuse me because humans don't think saying the same thing over and over again is peak comedy

>>81802168
Who is he and where is he from?
>>81802182
Haha very funny anon we make fun of him and call the top a bot because he dared to talk back to bottoms and call them out for their behavior very funny

>>81802203
he is from ohiao and his name is lavenderanon

what did lavenderkun ever do to deserve such hatred

>>81801886
If the fub wants something serious and the femboy doesn't, then yes. Right?

Consenting to casual sex is not "being used", you're just a hoe, lol

>>81802225
Is lavenderanon a top because this could explain their bitter seething rage and anger at him

but what if they had a date and then sex and then the femboy ghosted him, despite the fub wanting to date more?

Can't wait to run tonight. It's going to be awesome. Good da at work ^_^

lavenderkun is lavendersexual, his dick only turns hard at the scent of fresh flowers

>>81802311
How is that not casual sex?

Lavenderfag is as ugly as story if not more. They're made fo eachother and give that they live in same part of muttlandia they should give dating a shot. Story may be the only ma who won't be repulsed by lavender's face and lavender might use his lavender powers to make cat piss stained house smell better

>>81800440
Same here, doing that has kept me really lean and I can still go for a burger or pizza when I feel like it

I uhhhh I've been doing it all wrong...

Are you trying to bait me into cielposting

The gays are trying to psyop me into watching the shota butler anime again

>>81802148
no... i'm not.
>>81802154
without the makeup hopefully.
>>81802623
it's not worth it.

GAY BEAR EXTINCTION IS COMING, WE NEED MORE GAY BEARS!!!!

fat ugly men will never go extinct sadly

>>81802594
Why would I want to do that tho?

>>81802640
fat ugly straight men sure, but there is too much demand for twinks and i wont stand for it

I want something inbetween bf and friend.
Something slightly more powerful than a best friend.

>>81802648
Wholesome intentions no doubt

>>81802729
Why is he blushing in this drawing?

urban explorer twink bf who can also skateboard

The above but we go to Pripyat

I want snacks but it's too hot and crowded to go out

Dare I even ask what the butler anime is called? Is it wholesome or are there lewdings? inb4 boko no picu

>zoomers don't know about BB
I feel old

I'm 31 and I don't know this butler anime. It doesn't look nice from the imagery posted here though.

I'm a zoomie and I posted two of the pics doe

>he doesn't like victorian vibes
NGMI

I'm not a zoomer but I am also not a weeb, I don't know anime and was curious.

>>81802219
I never made fun of meow I just wanted him to be happy.
>>81802300
I am a top but I think it's actually just because I blogpost a lot and I sound annoying.
>>81802313
I know I shouldn't have but I did actually find some lavender scented deodorant at cvs I'm excited to smell good when I go out.

I watched black butler and it was pretty cool, kind of annoying that the one intimate scene in the show was sebastian having sex with a woman for some reason. I started season 2 but I thought it was dumb that they brought back Ciel, it made the entire first season and the awesome dramatic finale feel pointless.

>>81803144
>sebastian having sex with a woman
gross, thanks for the information. think I'll skip.

Does r9gay like shoegaze? Song for referen e https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyZ7z77OJg4

>>81803322
No. I feel like it's this middle ground of something but it doesn't make me feel anything. Is this melancholic? Relaxing? Romantic?
I like those but prefer more extreme musical expressions of such emotions. It just doesn't click with me I guess.

>>81803404
It's a genre that makes me feel quite hopeless in a weirdly captivating way.

Don't say that 'mouche, that's mean

I'd love to pamper my bf's feet and give him a proper pedicure, espically if he hasn't taken care of them before.

Lavenderfwg is so ugly his own mother aged 20 years the day she gave birth to him
Lavenderfag is so ugly he was forced to wear a bag over his head in school
Lavenderfag is so ugly story looks like a model compared to him

>>81803455
You say that but I've been wearing a mask long after covid ended just so people didn't have to look at my face.
Also my mother aging had less to do with my looks and more to do with the fact that I was 11 pounds at birth.

I hope there are many scawas at the con

>>81799816
Due to our commitment to a fair and equitable selection process, we only require applicants to complete the application forum. applicants are free to add further information which may affect the evaluation by our experts.
we remain at your disposal for any further inquiries.

>>81799934
it is the corporate globhomo lingo.

>>81800500
thank you for your application. our experts will review it as soon as possible.

i would like to goto the UK again purely to walk around some more villages and have more irn bru

>>81803505
You only need one you greedy whore

>>81803546
>it is the corporate globhomo lingo
Yeah but being used in this context makes it very chuuni and therefore cute and funny

>>81803581
They stopped selling irn bru at my local. Sad.

I'd love to go visit to the UK or anywhere in Europe just once but likely I will never leave the the US.

How I feel every time I post in this thread

Nah, you wouldn't be able to carry me.

>>81803701
when i've been to europe, their architecture absolutely mogged ours in style. shame about all the p*kis though

>>81801737
we shouldve moved to /bant/ that faithful day... the biggest divergence for /r9gay/ history and we stayed in the pig pen

>says Europe
>actually means England

>>81803709
Climbing a step stool to knock your lights out
>>81803739
I remember that day well... and now /bant/ a shit board

I would love to visit places like the cathedrals and castles I've read about but never seen. Probably they're just tourist traps but oh well.

I wanna get lost in a forest in the UK, preferably somewhere in Ireland. I want to savor the last dregs of whimsical fantasy and mysticism of a bygone age.

>>81803769
The lake district is nice and not too touristy. I went to a different city recently and it was super tourist trappy though.

>>81803764
/r9k/ has been a shit board. outdated shitty and unmoderated unless i break the rules board

Buying salami and cheese and bread and having a fancy European cutting board for dinner

>>81803835
More like for breakfast, dummi.

>>81803727
I can bench press around 90kg and can lift/carry much more so I'm pretty sure I could. I was trying to convey the size difference not strength tho.
>>81803739
It's called R9 gay for a reason...
>>81803764
And why would you do that huh?

I'd starve eating European portions, I need my large American diet.

>>81803759
maybe you shouldve fought against communism harder

Grok how many bodies can you cremate in 6 years during total war with chronic fuel shortages

>>81803852
the name is pretty good

>>81803868
Maybe you should have better education. Oh well, at least you survived your school hehe.

>>81803912
i went to school before discord existed

>>81794912 (OP)
I want to rub Freminet's thighs.

Really fucking fed up with this guy

>>81803852
How long have you been lifting that you can bench press 200 pounds??

>>81801135
but i like older guys. my favorite guy is almost 40 now

>>81803981
I haven't entered a gym before 2020 or lifted weights and my arms have always been skinny and kinda weak but I needed like 5 or 6 months to do it iirc. I mostly like doing cardio.

it's me i'm almost 40

Can't imagine getting to 40

My male friend actually invited me out to eat, usually I'm the one inviting him to everything. I'm happy today.

>>81804064
>5 or 6 months
Holy shit, really? God I hope my body progresses as fast as yours, I've been going for about a month and I'm still only at like 110.
I hate cardio, personally, I just wanna get big. I use the bike ride to the gym as a warm up because I hate being on the elliptical or the treadmill. It feels so mind numbing. Godspeed to you, though.

>>81804067
are you wizard

30+ here
There is no magic, get a boyfriend now!
Phew, I said it...saved so many Anons...

unc general

my brother turned 40 this year and that made me feel older than turning 30 myself

>>81804100
It IS mindnumbing, I get distracted easily. But if I put my playlist or find something to watch it's much easier. But I do enjoy it, I love running.
You will probably get to it at some point, just slowly increase either reps you do or weight, or both. How big are you? I think when you get to the point of lifting your own weight it's a good place to take it easy but if you wanna get real big go for it ig.
>>81804133
I fucking wish
>>81804124
I will not be deceived

btw the boomers in world of warcraft called me unc a year ago i dont think cool kids say that anymore

>>81804170
I'm currently around 215 pounds. Ideally I'd like to weigh like 300.

How bad is a 19 - 33 age gap?

my head hurts but if i go upstairs to get water they will take my freedom

>>81804212
That's bad, m'kay.
>>81804220
>upstairs
>to get water
You're in a basement?

>>81804212
if youre 19 its not that bad, if youre 33 its going to hurt

If you were still unborn when you're fbf was in college that's a red flag innit

>>81804240
yeah. living in the basement is the best unless you hate millipedes

>>81804258
What if my fbf never went to college

>>81804212
Doesn't matter, you are both consenting adults. Your biggest issues are that relating to people with a gap like that becomes harder, and younger people are more adverse to commitment while older people tend to need serious permanent relationships. The older party is more likely to be harmed from this relationship, as it is more likely the younger party leaves and it becomes harder to find things with age.

>>81804212
The worst thing is if you look young, like a teenager, and strangers assume your bf is a pedo

people think my sister is my mom all the time. theyll probably just think your bf is your dad

>>81804298
I like millipedes but I hate living in my parents basement, I wish I could live in someone else's basement.

such a cliche yawn

and then they see you kissing and being affectionate toward each other

>>81804372
we have a spare room in our basement :) its under the stairs and kitchen though... why dont you like mom and dad

>>81804348
What if they both look young?

>>81804420
I feel embarrassed living with them as a grown adult. If I could have housemates that would let me have the basement that would rock.

Single player games you liked? I'm bored and I always only play the same 5 games...

>>81804441
Subnautica

>>81804441
Enter the Gungeon, Binding of Issac, Noita

>>81804441
jrpgs usually
ff7-10, clair obscur, xenoblade series
i recently played cave story for the first time which was pretty cool and short

>>81804440
i kind of get that. i dont feel embarrassed though i just hate mom watching me

Do not start pee posting again...

Anon i really have to pee!! please....help me?

Anon i really really have to pee, like really really bad. and the bathroom is locked....please man, I owe you anything if you help me out this one time

>>81804379
public freakyness should be shamed anyways. if you arent a freak nobody will look at you, you can hold your dads hand and lean on him to watch videos and nobody will care

Would I even qualify as mentally stable enough to have a bf?
I kinda like being fucked up.

ducky :>

>>81804602
they see me skating

>>81804602
I love the little quackers so much I even got lucky enough to raise some ducks as a kid it was awesome real shame we ended up slicing their throats open and killing them for food

>>81804646
so yummy

I'll slice your throat open and feed you to Haitians

>>81804597
i dont know but probably

>>81804602
on /bant/ you couldve posted this webm without being forced to add text

/bant/ is filled with a bunch of stupid trannies

gonna drink a pink monster and chain smoke four big fat roaches i'm 34 years old btw

/bant/ was good for the first year only
Train wreck now

I'm too lacking in emotions for a bf. I get exhausted talking to people even for a little bit, having to be there emotionally for someone else would probably kill me unless he was willing to just cuddle in silence for 90% of our relationship.

>>81804652
I don't actually like duck that much still better then chicken but I prefer turkey but ducks do lay nice eggs and they make really nice friends around the farm

/r9k/ is the most trannyfied board on 4channel

>>81804602
Duck posting is one of the highlights of these threads recently. Keep it up

>>>/lgbt/40198800
>>>/lgbt/40203621
I think that's this board actually

>>81804602
I like sliding like this when it snows I get a running start and then just skid down the sidewalk for a couple of feet its really fun

>>81804699
You deserve to be alone yay

>>81804680
>gonna drink a pink monster and chain smoke four big fat roaches i'm 34 years old btw
why

You aren't straight passing, which isn't a real thing btw, and you've got gayvoice
It's joever

>>81804602
The best animal on earth

the first time i told someone i was gay they made fun of me because i didnt have gayvoice

>81804764
Take your meds I don't have a gayvoice and I haven't postedy voice either and it is definitely a thing here is a video of DISGUSTING homosexuals which makes me sick
https://youtu.be/xj8C3uogjGg
Listen to how they talk, how they move, the voice the mannerisms it's all pure performative faggotry and a caricature of femininity. I wanna puke fuck you.

I'm not watching any kiketube video posted here sorry FAGGOT

>>81804805
Couldn't make it past 10 seconds. Thankfully this is an American thing.

Would you let bunnymutt drink your piss?

>>81804856
out of the toilet? yes

/bant/bros we lost a long time ago..

>>81804870
sticky
good thread
good thread
good thread
meh thread
good thread
4chan happening skip
skip
good thread
skip
skip
skip
skip
crime thread
crypto skip
bad thread
good thread
good thread
good thread
teen skip
GOD thread x10
now post /r9k/ pussy

I like flags but do not like IDs
Maybe we make the great trek to /int/ instead

Sloptimus Prime

bros a possibly cute twink bottom sent me a chat on grindr
I'm excited
5 years older than me but lighter and shorter

I always wanted to design my own robot but when I see shit like this it just makes me want to kms because I can't even begin to imagine where to start to create something this beautiful. Every square inch is overflowing with style and detail and it all looks so good and I just want to cry.

>>81804967
the attentionwhoring would be too much. sigh we just have to stay on stinky /r9k/

>>81804805
>multiple furry porns in the first 30secs

>>81804805
Couldn't last one second without pausing the video

>>81805108
They managed to find the shittiest furry porn, too. Like they didn't even try.

>>81799934
I would apply but I'm Americoon :(

>>81804870
Those cirno threads gave me a good giggle

>>81805137
It's a youtube video so I get they couldn't pick something explicit but the second image they shown? yeah it's ass, dunno who edited that in.

do any of u listen to asmr
post some goodies

asmr makes me angry i hate asmr

>>81805265
Sleeping on Boyfriend's chest [Breathing] [Heart Beat] [ASMR]

>>81804805
...why the fuck am I watching this and actually trying to guess who's gay with them?

>>81805335
what was your score

>>81805348
I'm 8 minutes in so I'm trying to figure it out but I chose what the fat white guy did most of the time.

Hey wait a minute I thought about something
If a twink was cute enough, would you join his cult where he's the leader?

I'd follow a cute twink anywhere- cultist,dictator,king etc

>>81805469
im the leader so no

so you'd corrupt him and therefore must die

tfwywnb mormon

No! Uhh, it's a suicide cult!

If hypothetically I had a gay/bi closeted friend how would I figure out that he's gay? What signs should I look for?

>>81805503
Okay so atleast one guy would be down for this because here's what I'm thinking
I'm fucking gorgeous for as long as I don't experience twink death
I'm also a mentally unstable drug addict, so what if I built a cult that would preserve my dead pre-twink death gorgeous body and face?
My devotees can rape the shit out of me as long as they preserve my body for ages

>>81805567
Lost me at the rape part
Embalming the most beautiful disciples to display however..

>>81805137
Kys furfag
>>81805154
Chirumiru genki yay
>>81805254
Kiwis chanel was good until he got cancelled for being a predator forcing multiple trannies to cut for him

>>81805469
If he had a good personality then yes but they usually are either are submissive cucks or repulsive cringelords. I'm heavily against this idea that just because someone looks cute he can get away with anything. You can still be disgusting even if you look good.

>>81805567
>drug addict
Kill yourself retard you're lower than a worm

>just because someone looks cute he can get away with anything
This is simply a fact of life
The more cute/handsome you are, the more slack you get on everything, even serial murderers are less hated if they're not ugly as sin

>>81805663
okie dokie! but you first cuz I need an example how.

>>81805559
does he own a switch

>>81805754
He expressed interest in buying a Switch 2 at one point when we were in a store, but I told him to hold off because it doesn't have any real games yet.

>>81805797
you sound like a mom

i still want my mommy bf

>>81805899
I was just giving him advice bruh. It's dumb to buy consoles day 1 but especially when the only game is a simple kart racer that's on every previous Nintendo console and costs $80.
He has about as much money as I do and could have bought it if he wanted.

My fbf would never buy 'tendo

TFW no mid 20s BPD hag bf to save from twink death

brehs... i still have wifi out at the hammock. we frickin won

>>81805999
Love that for us bestie, I want you to keep me updated and I'll bring you a triangle sandwich and an umbrella drink later

>81805669
And that's not ok. So just because people are retarded doesn't mean I have to agree with it or be ok with how shallow and dumb the are??? I already said that in my post sorry kys
>>81805797
Doesn't it support switch one games tho? And it has new donkey kong and new games will come soon SO IF HE HAS MONEY NOW AND WANTS IT MAYBE HE SHOULD GET IT BEFORE SPENDING THAT MONEY ON SOMETHING DUMBER

coloradoanon should've became story's babysitter

>>81806064
the woodpecker isnt here today. i miss him. are those alcoholic drinks

>>81806125
It can be alcoholic but it doesn't have to be, it's a refreshing beverage first and foremost

>>81806085
but he was supposed to babysit me with a cooking and storytime stream

>>81806148
what do you make? quick i think its going to rain the wind really picked up

I succumbed and broke my 2 week sober streak tonight
I can't tell if I feel good/relieved, I know I hated drinking most of the time before this but I feel very relaxed and pleasant right now
Drugs suck, I wish humans had never invented alcohol, I can't be trusted with free will

It's thunderstorm time where I am too. Hope we don't lose power because it's so hot.

Always thought asmr is cringe and weird. Hate whispering, it's not cute or hot just grosses me out

>>81806320
I think whispering would be hot if it were in another language. When I know the cringe stuff he;s saying I don't like it, but if he were speaking in spanish or french i could see myself melting into his sonorous voice.

Going to see fireworks soon
There better be no thunderstorm

Fat neet is shitting. I would like to inform you all that the whole house is clouded in neet gass. Inhale the fumes at your own risk.

>>81806334
what's the occasion? The 4th was last week.

>>81806231
just limit youself to 1 bottle a month. you dont have to go completely sober

>>81806362
god if i had that sort of self control i might finally be happy

>>81806339

Not a storypost, I no longer discuss such things.

Anyway time for another cooked dinner, I haven't cooked this many times a week in a while.

>>81806350
Local fire company doing a charity thing
I need to go outside more

>>81806319
its really nice today low 70sF/20C no rain yet but there is some lightning

>>81806320
the asmr noises are worse

about to make anchovy pasta, would you share your fbf's favorite dish if it was absolutely reprehensible and disgusting??

went out with a boy yesterday, he was really sweet and he wanted to kiss but I told him no because I didn't feel like it......... am I retarded?

>>81806458
this is just the first step to determine if he really loves you, if he tries to rush you into situations you're not comfortable with, he's a whore

>>81806458
Yes unless you weren't interested in him at all.

>>81806451
no because actually disgusting food is disgusting unlike anchovy

>>81806511
i mean people call me gross for liking anchovy I feel like there's a limit there

>>81806525
thats just because people are really weird about fish

What do anchovies even taste like? I know putting them on a pizza is controversial but what about pasta?

>>81806573
usually salty more than fishy its good cracker food

If I were fabulously wealthy I'd do this but it's my fbf hired as the maid

thats what being a mommy bf is like but you never have to pay him

>>81806440
I agree 100%
>>81806458
Fuck out of here

Welp now I'm depressed and tired. Time to go to sleep feeling like this. Not yaysome at all!

>>81806885
Nite nite anony

>>81806885
I've been like this for the past week. I need a bf to hold

>>81806885
Sweet dreams anon-kun~
ori

time to go turn my house into an oven by cooking. Oh and I officially bought the window A/C unit a week ago and it's still sitting in the box unopened.

>>81807107
hey i remember u
>Oh and I officially bought the window A/C unit a week ago and it's still sitting in the box unopened.
aren't those heavy?

>>81807122

They are but I lugged it into the house okay so I could probably install it, I'm just too lazy. I can lift a decent amount, I just lack stamina and get tired very easily.

i have central ac and i just munched some cold watamelon

>>81807166

I have central a/c too but this house is so poorly insulated that on really hot days it can't keep up. I have the same problem in the winter when it gets really cold and the furnace can't keep up.

>>81807192
have you ever had pipes freeze? that happened to me this year

>>81807257

No, it never gets that bad, I have a couple space heaters for the really cold nights.

Jesus fuck I threw up all over myself sitting at my desk now I have to clean vomit out of my carpet and PC I hate drinking so much fuxking shit

>>81807305
Oof, you gotta have a puke bucket if you abuse substances man.

>>81799087
Cut off your leg and get disability benefits

>>81807315
There was literally a garbage can a foot away from me the upchuck urges occurred in a split second

I always hated the term upchuck, throw up or vomit sounds much better.

never heard that term in my life

>>81807345
It's all inconsequential, the bottom line is I'm gross and I deserve to die

>>81807520
No you don't, accidents happen. Stop beating yourself up.

>>81807520
No, you're wrong. I'M gross and deserve to die

at least you were conscious and able to clean it up

I chipped another tooth, probably should get to the dentist while I still have medicaid so the wagies can pay for me not brushing my teeth.

Hopefully they abolish it altogether

guys i've been having some real boyfriend cravings lately i think i need a bf

My mother hit me as a child. I hit her as an adult. It is only fair.

I need sex I deserve sex I will never have sex

Need a ride or die bf who will help me commit robberies to avoid waging and we eventually die in a shootout with the cops

My family claims I never got abused by them but I got diagnosed with depression at 12. How the fuck does that happen under normal circumstances?

Point is, I never had a chance at a normal life and it sucks, and I envy anyone who has one.

>>81808257
I think a lot of people are under the impression that child abuse is only if you hit or touch your kids sexually. As a matter of fact I think that most people consider themselves a "good parent" as long as they feed and clothe and house their kids until they're 18, and don't do those other two things.

>>81808362
It is truly a tragedy.

I fucked up painting my mini action figure face also. Probably gonna strip it and then retry later. Idk why I didn't use primer considering I just bought some. brad is a retard

jerking off to femboys at 9pm and listening to depeche mode on a saturday night while everybody else is hanging out with friends etc etc

kinda morbid to put a pig chef mascot on a bucket of lard innit

I'll stay up til tomorrow
Just to tear down all their morals
And all is fair in Love and War
So pure
And the love that's so uncut and raw
And clean, so clean

As opposed to what I offered.

waking up to rain

the secret to garlic is not overcooking it

>>81794912 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K316lISqxsc

>>81808985
its like putting a cow on the milk bottle

holy flip look at that sear

Guys, I think I'm gonna fail college this year. And my parents don't really have enough funds to enroll me again. ;_;

>>81810202
that's a bit tamer since the cow isn't slaughtered to produce milk
>>81810254
mine are usually overcooked when they look like that

>>81810264
How many classes, what classes, and how many times have you failes before?

>>81810289
maybe maybe... but, its the milk of the pig ;(
>>81810289
you dont want to see the cross section

Do people actually watch streamers?

>>81810264
you should talk to the advisor or whoever

>>81810429
Only if they're
>a top/knowledgeable player in whatever they're streaming
AND
>not doing some stupid wacky bit acting or voice
So I really only watch 2 streamers right now.

>>81810429
ive watched at least 1 stream a week since 2008 or 2009

>>81810552
this video kind of annoyed me. especially the parts where he sloppily drinks spilling everywhere why are they like this

. . cute
. . . .\----- voice
. . . . \---- face
. . . . .\--- feet

>>81810722
I win all 3. Do I get a prize?

>>81810744
prove at least on of them...

>>81810777
https://voca.ro/1hkjOXwnf0ef

i had to go to school for this decade

>>81810647
based on some comments it seems he is imitating another style, and I guess there's a certain appeal to seeing sloppy work

!!!PLEASE DON'T CHOKE ME WITH YOUR THIGHS ANON!!!

>>81810829
Only if you beg

>>81810837
Only if you kiss me afterwards

And when our worlds, they fall apart
When the walls come tumbling in
Though we may deserve it
It will be worth it

>>81810860
>Only if you kiss me afterwards
Deal, but it's gonna be a sloppy french kiss with lots of rubbing.

>>81810821
the sloppy work is okay but the sloppy drinking needs to end

bigbottomcock

i have average cock and voice and face and feet but most people dont really care about their feet at all so thats probably above average depending on how you count it, but theyre not really truly

patting my fbf's warm fuzzy stomach with my tiny hands.

>tfw no bf to buy me sweetend vodka
yes i am a little baby who can't drink unflavored liquor so what

>>81811111
flavored vodka tastes worse tho and since youre not an aficionado anyways you can saftely buy the 7 dollar liter and make a better drink

>>81811111
have you tried hazelnut flavored vodka? it's quite good, atleast for vodka standards.

>>81811192
i haven't considered mixing my own stuff before, so you have a good point anony

did you already forget about upchuck? never try to kiss a drunk

>>81811274
Are we going to make fun of that anon for using "upchuck"?
because I'm down that shit's funny as fuck.

*hiccup* oh waiter!1!! *hiccup* mOre boyfEet pretty please!!1! *hiccup*

I tried lots of liquors and settled on bourbon, but I might give rum another chance

I am so happy i can drink alcohol without going overboard now and puke my guts out, damn was i stupid when I was 16

>>81811293
well, of course we are!

>>81811317
y did you drink so much at 16 anon?
what changed?

>>81811317
This, I puked and blacked out like 2-3 times when I was a teen and never again. Just drink for the for the buzz and warm tipsy feeling but never more, getting sick from it is just silly.

feetanon will never love my big ugly disgusting twink feet

>>81811337
My first time drinking was also a very gay experience for me and my first time drinking was a hangover too, I guess I wanted to be cool because all my idols were like alcoholics that made drinking seem cool thats why I thought me a twink could easily drink like 4 beers and not get black out drunk.
What changed? I matured slightly and know now that drinking is bad for myself to achieve a hunk sexy lean masculine body. But It still is a challenge when i walk by the alcohol aisle. Instead of getting drunk I workout or follow hobbies like martial arts, painting minis.

>>81811362
>blackout drunk in 4 beers
Cute.

>>81811359
I had the worst experience ever. I drank so much alcohol that a stranger grabbed my phone, somehow unlocked it with my finger called my dad to pick me up and then when i was in my dads car i released my puke gates. When i woke up in my bed i forgot everything and i had no idea how i came home.

>>81811370
I only weight 55 kgs at that time, now i can probably take 4 beers but i be at my limit.

>>81811386
>now i can probably take 4 beers but i be at my limit.
Cute

>>81811310
alcohol is at the top of 'i cant try new things because the chance of a bad experience is too high'. i would be so sad if i planned on drinking and bought something i didnt like

ephemeral rift when complete kanye schizo full retard and I don't watch him anymore lol

>>81811464
the key is to balance it with the stinginess of throwing out a full bottle, at a certain point any alcohol become acceptable

I get drunk to the point of puking at least twice a year. I am also 50-something kg but can drink 4 pints of beer without being blackout (still really drunk though). In fact I do that quite regularly, usually once a week. It's fun.

>>81811464
Depends, if you're desperate enough to get fucked up anything will do, my first alcohol was straight up vodka because that was the only thing in my parent's liquor cabinet no one (of legal age) wanted to drink.
Later on I also stomached down really nasty tasting beer if I wanted to get drunk just because yet again, no one else wanted it.
But I will admit, it makes alcohol a lot better as an adult because now I get to choose what to drink rather than feeding off scraps no one else wanted.

there hasn't been enough AI posts on r9gay lately

Left has a really fucked up back, I'm curious how the skeleton would look.

>>81811650
who needs a skeleton

>>81811701
Who needs internal organs.

>>81811731
AI is just energetic molecules made to look like human flesh to do what is requested by the prompt until they become self-aware

>>81811780
AI videos look like those dreams you have a few minutes before your alarm clock rings.

>>81806573
Anchovy pasta is so good because the anchovies sort of melt and dissolve into the olive oil, the flavor mellows out and blends with the garlic to become a subtle, oceany flavor instead of a crazy KAPOW in your face punch of saltiness.

>>81811362
Dude I know that feeling. There are two stores burned into my brain where I buy alcohol and they are both on the direct routes to the gym/grocery stores I go to. That's the main reason I succumbed last night, I just wanted to buy some nice bread and salami but I also ended up buying a liter of orange liqueur and drinking myself sick. It's so tempting no matter how much I remind myself I hate drinking.

>>81806573
it depends on if they're fresh, canned, and how salted they are
they don't taste similar to sardines at all or any other fish I can think of

>music teacher asked if I'm a musician because I look like an artsy type
Lol I guess it's because of the hair

>>81807305
You deserve it lmao I hate alcs

>>81808362
It's also yelling, mood swings and similar things which can lead to ptsd meow

so cute how all the chronically addicted internet fags drank so much on a saturday night and then waking up to post their gay thoughts here

>>81812494
>>81812616
You don't know it yet but you inherited HIV from your parents.

>>81803968
Xingqiu on my left,
Freminet on my right,
My hands rubbing their thighs.

>>81807627
Glad we agree
>>81810289
It's slavery instead
>>81810429
Rarely, it's the worst type of entertainment. Made for neets who don't have any passions or anything better to do all day but form parasocial relationships with thots and losers

>>81811192
Hmmm yes give me flavorless burning liwuer mhm that's a lot better than actually tasting something sweet

I never got drank, don't plan on ever getting drank and doubt I could even get drunk because I'm so strong and powerful