Thread 81804087 - /r9k/ [Archived: 353 hours ago]

Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:56:00 PM No.81804087
IMG_2915
IMG_2915
md5: 953e4994e2607738e597179006e808dc🔍
Hi everyone! I'm Sharon 52, recently divorced, two grown sons (one's in IT, the other still "finding himself" lol). I was looking up a slow cooker beef recipe and somehow ended up here. I thought this was a little support group for young men, and honestly_ you're all so funny!!

I just love how honest everyone is. One young man said he hasn't left his room in three weeks - honey, that was me after my second divorce! Sometimes we all need a break from the world, I get it!

Some of the language is new to me, like "coom" and "stacy" and "blackpill"? I'm not quite sure what that means, but I thought it was lovely how one of you said you'd "blow your brains out if a woman made eye contact with you." Don't be silly, sweetie! That's how I met my second husband - he was staring at my chest in a Walmart and I said "eyes up, cowboy!" and we were married a year later.

Oh! And I saw one of you post a pic of a cartoon girl with big boobies and a tail? She reminded me of myself in the '80s - wild hair, tight pants, and I used to wear a little collar necklace too. My ex used to call me his "real-life catgirl." Not sure what that means now, but hey, memories!
Replies: >>81804121 >>81804145 >>81804172 >>81804343 >>81804378 >>81804624 >>81804855 >>81804886 >>81806558
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 8:58:42 PM No.81804121
>>81804087 (OP)
52 is too young to have been dressing up like that during the 80s. That fictional character would have been 12 in the middle of the 80s, unless that copypasta was written much earlier like a decade ago.
Replies: >>81804144 >>81804180 >>81804213
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:00:53 PM No.81804144
>>81804121
They could be 16 in 89
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:00:59 PM No.81804145
doge-1
doge-1
md5: e16d351570b9dea69348aa3d4ac4c1cb🔍
>>81804087 (OP)
welcome Sharon
you have to post your tits btw
Replies: >>81804213
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:03:13 PM No.81804167
Post tits & dick OP
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:03:34 PM No.81804172
>>81804087 (OP)
Hello Sharon, do you have any nieces you could introduce me to?
Replies: >>81804213
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:05:03 PM No.81804180
>>81804121
>too young
This. Broke suspension of disbelief. I'm only in my late 30s and have had sex with women who were older than 52 back during the early 2010s.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:07:33 PM No.81804213
>>81804145
Oh sweetheart... I'm old enough to be your mother and your Sunday school teacher. If you want to see boobs, go check the anatomy section of a medical textbook like a respectable young man.
>>81804172
Well, I do have a niece named Amanda, but she's 34, married to a guy with a beard shaped like a triangle, and into crystals and screaming at people on Instagram. You might love her or hate her depending on how you feel about astrology and vegan lasagna.
>>81804121
You're right, I probably got my decades mixed up! I was in high school in the late '80s, so I guess the leopard print pants, fishnets, and Madonna gloves came a bit later probably around '88, '89.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:17:17 PM No.81804343
>>81804087 (OP)
I need cuddles mommy!!!!!!
Replies: >>81804393
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:18:06 PM No.81804355
Be careful, Sharon. There are young guys here who would love to do all sorts of things to a woman in her 50's!
Replies: >>81804393 >>81804414 >>81806509
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:20:25 PM No.81804378
1739036049272069
1739036049272069
md5: a8a334966b0810996ea8b6bac51b5b83🔍
>>81804087 (OP)
THIS IS 100% A LARP BUT I WANT TO INFORM YOU THAT I HAVE A BONER ANYWAYS.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:21:12 PM No.81804393
>>81804355
Well, if any of you young men try anything, just know I've got arthritis in one knee and trauma in both hips proceed at your own risk!

Back in the day, they called me the Midwest Menace, not because I was wild, but because I once dislocated a man's shoulder during a slow dance.
>>81804343
Let mommy fix you a grilled cheese, turn on some SpongeBob, and tell you it's okay that life hasn't worked out exactly how you wanted by age 23.
Replies: >>81804437
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:23:12 PM No.81804414
>>81804355
No apostrophe before the s when talking about decades. You can use an apostrophe before the decade to denote leaving out the 19. But before the s is just confusion between decades and posession for nouns.
Replies: >>81804639
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:25:39 PM No.81804437
1728426545242395
1728426545242395
md5: d2d81d943264fbeb30fb67a2bccb1f13🔍
>>81804393
I'VE GOT A CURE FOR HIP TRAUMA. IT'S A PRETTY DEEP MASSAGE, THOUGH, BUT A HELL OF A RELEASE. DON'T WORRY, IT CAN BE ADMINISTERED FLAT ON YOUR BACK.
Replies: >>81804730
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:33:17 PM No.81804499
52 year olds dont have hands that smooth
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:45:27 PM No.81804624
>>81804087 (OP)
I'm deeply in love with the idea of a woman as dashing as you cooking beef wellington a la ramsay for me while I work on my book manuscript that deals with the application of esoteric kantianism within the framework of a disillusioned student's quest to find love and change the world as we lock eyes across the kitchen and living room, Sharon.
Where would a tall man go about finding his modern day catgirl to make that dream reality?
Also, do you have any advice for my friend that wants to spread his genes like gengis khan, but ultimately end up in a traditionally monogamous relationship while they raise the kids from all those prior relationships together?
Replies: >>81804730
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:46:42 PM No.81804639
>>81804414
Why did you decide to get under my skin today?
Replies: >>81804671
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:50:22 PM No.81804671
>>81804639
I gave you a chance to get back at me by leaving out an s from the word possession but you didn't use it.
Replies: >>81804794
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:51:04 PM No.81804682
sample_f735ab41e283b79050bcedfe5cc2f126
sample_f735ab41e283b79050bcedfe5cc2f126
md5: 49c0d064b2a6909ee849797609115efd🔍
u have to speak louder im too drunk to hesr ur bs
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:54:16 PM No.81804724
Yall_niggas_postin_in_a_troll_thread
Yall_niggas_postin_in_a_troll_thread
md5: 853a07661c8f1b775a77c3124165478e🔍
51 year old man here. OP is a faggot and fake. No girl (not woman: girl) was dressed in hot pants in our generation except for literal child whores ~1989. They also weren't dating unless they were groomed by creeps.
Which is possible but then OP wouldn't be looking back on it fondly.
In short, fuck off our board
Replies: >>81804740
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:54:51 PM No.81804730
>>81804437
Sweetheart, the last man who said that to me threw his back out halfway through and cried because he missed his ex. I told him to apply ice and rethink his life. But bless your heart for trying!
>>81804624
Oh lord, you're one deep eye contact away from crying into my apron. That sounds romantic until you realize I'm halfway through menopause, forgot to preheat the oven, and accidentally made meatloaf instead.
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 9:55:53 PM No.81804740
>>81804724
This creepy ass 51 year old nigga is on r9k trying to groom girls. Go talk to your grandkids unc.
Replies: >>81805852
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:00:15 PM No.81804794
>>81804671
awe dangit
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 10:06:02 PM No.81804855
IMG_20210123_222802
IMG_20210123_222802
md5: 1e79a544921030a596161f255759496b🔍
>>81804087 (OP)
there's no way this is real aghahahhahahahaha

I laughed
you can drop the act now anon
An0nymous
7/12/2025, 10:09:17 PM No.81804886
>>81804087 (OP)
What do you think is the best age to die?
Anonymous
7/12/2025, 11:51:13 PM No.81805852
>>81804740
This is a red board so there are no girls here, only adults.
And all the females are troons and catfishers anyway. Or at least I assume as much so don't "groom" any. Note how I'm anonposting.
Anonymous
7/13/2025, 1:02:29 AM No.81806509
>>81804355
Yes like cuck her with her daughter
Anonymous
7/13/2025, 1:06:22 AM No.81806558
1669170755741791
1669170755741791
md5: e88250a464c05601739a075f50edb64d🔍
>>81804087 (OP)
this is as entertaining as chatgpt