>put a loaded shotgun in my mouth safety off again today
>still can't get my finger to move one iota and depress the trigger
>literally sobbing trying to will my finger to move
>but it won't

I'm literally trapped being alive. It's so horriying and no one cares. Therapy is useless. I'm trapped with an 80 year sentence in hell and there is no coping mechanism

>>81829774 (OP)
pussy original nigger

>>81829774 (OP)
this thread gave me a chuckle

But there no reason to just give up and never try anon,

>>81829848
Shit I meant at life, could've worded that better, my god

>>81829774 (OP)
Just do some alcohol and pills and OD you won't even realize that it's happening

>>81829774 (OP)
don't do it I already saw the Ronnie gif too many damn times

drop your disuck, lets make a pact

>>81829861
I've gotten completely drunk, still can't pull the trigger

>>81829774 (OP)
>I'm literally trapped being alive
Yes.
>no one cares
No.
>Therapy is useless
That depends, but you're lucky if it'd even an option.

>no coping mechanism
You're not alone OP, lots of suicidal ideation on this board for sure. Usually what I tell myself is if everything's forfeit, and you re4ally wanna check out like that, then there's nothing left to lose. Why no just go balls to the wall on something that might actually make you smile before you go? Then I think about what that might look like, and I can usually walk myself back into some kind of motivation to live, if only for a while longer. Then these things always feel different after some food and sleep.

You'll be dead eventually anon, no need to check out early

>>81829774 (OP)
Pay someone else to do the job for you, youd be dead you dont have to worry about money

>>81831002
when you're in such despair you can't even brush your teeth consistently you can't even think about marshaling enough energy to go "balls to the wall"

>>81829774 (OP)
do something truly heinous that makes suicide the only option

>>81831082
>can't even brush your teeth consistently
Oh I'm right there with you man, and I smoke too much, so it's getting bad in there too.
>can't even think about marshaling enough energy
So there could be plenty of physiological factors there. Step one is just to take control of things you can. It's a lot easier to get a good night's rest and eat a nourishing meal that it is to get health insurance and a therapist in the short term. If you don't have the energy, start to give yourself some. Any idea what gets you energized.. psychologically?