Has anyone else given up at life? Feel like I'm just waiting to die

id usually say i already gave up but i know i will never truly give up until i decide im going to pick a direction and just start walking and then go missing forever

>>81882431 (OP)
im very sure my life is coming to an end soon, so ya ive given up on it. im in acceptance

I wouldn't say that I'm more waiting for my mom to die and stuck here in limbo caring for her.
without her I would have nothing holding me back and I'd really go off the deep end.

>>81882431 (OP)
I don't know anymore. I want to be loved and have a fulfilling life but it's never happening especially because of who I am. I couldn't even get an ugly dumb bitch obsessed with me. The most I can get are easy sleazes that move from guy to guy but that isn't real love, just bpd.

>>81882431 (OP)
Yes I have given up completely due to turning 30. I wish I would have been wise enough to try being gay at a younger age but I want to try either than or getting a black gf because white BPD women have totally derailed my life

>>81882526
Trust me black women aren't any better. Maybe if you're white.

>>81882431 (OP)
It's strange. I have energy and capability but nothing to contribute to and no real hopes or dreams for the future. I don't know how to get past this.

>>81882534
I am white and I just want to experience something different. Every time I have gone for a white woman it starts off super intense then they eventually do a super destructive ice cold exit that leaves me holding the bag. Their ruthlessness has completely turned me off of them

>>81882431 (OP) Read this: https://taoism.net/tao-te-ching-online-translation/

>>81882431 (OP)
I had a panic attack over something stupid in my head earlier at like 5 AM, I was just crying and grasping for something to hug but ended up just laying there like a corpse sobbing in bed.

So how was your morning so far?

>>81882431 (OP)
when I think about death only one thing seems to come to mind:
"Worse than Alone / Exiled, Worse than Exiled / Dead, Worse than Dead / Forgotten."

at the end of that day, that's what we're going to end up as- more than any other persons at any point in history, right?

waiting to die, yes. given up, not really, i still have a good time.

>>81882431 (OP)
>Has anyone else given up at life? Feel like I'm just waiting to die
Oh, yes. Dad died 20 years ago. My mother died expectedly a decade ago. I tried to wage-cuck for a year and it exposed me as a hopeless autist. Then my grandpa died two years ago. Now everyone who loved me is dead. Autist, incel as fuck (of course), and NEETed almost 20 years now.
This life was a total bust. My only vain hope is that I get an unpaid fuck before a merciful death by my 50s.

>>81882431 (OP)
not me, i'm good
i figured out life a few days ago

>>81882431 (OP)
>given up at life
yuh huh
>wanna die
nuh uh uh

>>81882431 (OP)
That's basically the way I've been living ever since I turned 40, just living life on auto-mode until I or my mother finally dies, whichever comes first. Before that I spent 10 years in depression at country going to shit, society going to shit, economy going to shit.

Yeah. There's just no point at all anymore. Everything I wanted and had is gone.

>>81882431 (OP)
kinda but i live my life to make others happy now
dont care about myself anymore but if theyre happy i can die happy
i love everyone they have a beautiful flower deep inside