My mind is completely broken. I feel no joy no drive to do anything. Everything around me seems so disgusting and I hate myself to the depths of my being, I desire companionship yet feel I do not deserve it. I want an end to my pain yet feel I deserve more pain. What is there to do? I can not kill myself yet I can not live. I feel so trapped. Everyday I wake up hoping something just kills me. I have nothing and I can not take this anymore.

A lot of people feel this way. Always have and always will.

>>81886573 (OP)
I remember 6-8 years ago when I would make almost identical posts to this. The feeling never went away, just got subdued and normalized over the years as I stopped fighting and got used to the despair.

Yeah, this post is like the single most common thing posted. Just look at other threads saying the exact same thing instead of making your own and getting the same replies.

>>81886573 (OP)
Make good money, you'll instantly feel better.

>>81886573 (OP)
It is how it is, try spite as a driver.

>>81887074
Simple and succinct answer, life isn't a great adventure, you just grew up in an overstimulated environment and now you have high expectations as a result of it. You are alpha widowed by tranime.