I'm an /r9k/ menace to society and I work night shifts in a blood bank. AMA

>>81895541 (OP)
Which type tastes the best?

>>81895555
Epic quads. Unfortunately, they all taste about the same. The only difference is your ferritin levels. More iron = more metallic taste.

what does r9k menace mean. are you an entitled incel or retarded lgbt zoomer

what happens to the receiver if you fart in the bloodbag

>>81895541 (OP)
can i taste YOUR blood? can we do a blood pact so i can have our blood flow with mine?

>>81895541 (OP)
Have you ever wanted to use a pack for a prank? Like a pool of blood on the floor and people freak out?

>>81895583
Poor vampires, must suck having to sip on the same sloppy slurp all the time.

>>81895541 (OP)
Why do you work at a blood bank? Affinity to blood? Desire to help society? Was it the only job you could get?

>>81895584
>what does r9k menace mean.
I post on r9k and I'm a dangerous young man with potentially fringe political beliefs. I could go buck wild at any moment! I might just crash out! I used to be incel too but being tall and having money got me an Asian immigrant gf so I beat the pussy up feral freak style (with a condom) whenever I can to relieve stress.
>>81895588
That simply does not occur. Farting does not affect my work.
>>81895591
>can i taste YOUR blood?
No. It's A+ and it tastes like regular metallic blood anyway.
>can we do a blood pact so i can have our blood flow with mine?
Not how it works. Red blood cells survive in circulation for like 120 at the absolute maximum so every 4 months you literally have new blood from your bone marrow. Also if you do the thing where you cut your palms and shake hands then none of your blood is even likely to enter one another's circulation. It'll just get caught in the resulting fibrin clot. The best way to become part of someone is to drink their saliva because you gain part of their oral bacterial flora and their viruses too. Eating pussy works too. I got infectious mononucleosis from a former partner because she gave me Epstein-Barr Virus and my lymph nodes swelled up like golf balls.
>>81895594
>Have you ever wanted to use a pack for a prank?
No. That's not funny.
>>81895598
I take multivitamins to fill in the difference. It's fine.
>>81895692
>Why do you work at a blood bank?
Stupid question. Everyone works for money. Everyone who says otherwise is a truly disgraceful liar. Do you seriously think I keep 80+ year old boomer fucks alive out of the kindness of my heart?

>>81895541 (OP)
anon what do you do? do you work with donors? I've been donating blood and I like to zone out and stare at nothing but the staff get worried and ask if I'm okay. but there's nothing else to do there...

>>81895796
based based based based based based based

>>81895796
>The best way to become part of someone is to drink their saliva because you gain part of their oral bacterial flora and their viruses too
I will remember this, thank yewwwww no homo just homie <3

>>81895541 (OP)
hey man i had to get a few units transfused because chemo bonked my hemoglobin right outta me, thanks for maybe helping out with that. pretty wild seeing that shit going from a bag through tubes right into me

>>81895835
>anon what do you do?
I prepare and issue blood for recipients. If you get into a nasty blood-related situation and are on the brink of death from blood loss then I'm the guy who makes sure you get what you need. You'd be surprised how complex this can get, especially with patients who have lots of antibodies or cancer patients on funky medication that targets their cell antigens. I have nothing to do with the donation process, although I am familiar with it. Thanks for donating. Not enough people do it, including myself because I get syncope from extended venipuncture. If you want to be even more valuable then given platelets instead of blood. You have to be hooked up to an apheresis instrument for like 1.5 hours though; the people who can tolerate that shit are heroes.
>the staff get worried and ask if I'm okay
They are required to stop if you say so. The gauge of the needle they put in your arm is basically a garden hose so no one will criticize you if you ever stop early.
>>81895850
What part is based? Based on what?
>>81895881
Drink adult woman saliva to become ultra heterosexual.
>>81895909
>hey man i had to get a few units transfused because chemo bonked my hemoglobin right outta me
Glad we could help, cancer bro. Oncology patients are really common for use because chemotherapy tanks your hematocrit and hemoglobin. Even worse if it's leukemia. We will have regular oncology patients on our whiteboard for months and then one day they'll just vanish... Is your cancer gone now?
>pretty wild seeing that shit going from a bag through tubes right into me
It freaks me the fuck out, personally, but I've learned to tolerate it.

>>81896122
>Glad we could help, cancer bro. Oncology patients are really common for use because chemotherapy tanks your hematocrit and hemoglobin. Even worse if it's leukemia. We will have regular oncology patients on our whiteboard for months and then one day they'll just vanish... Is your cancer gone now?

well God willing it is, it was testicular cancer which isn't usually a big deal...besides being down a nut, of course. but the shit spread with a quickness, ended up stage 3B with the shit all in near every one of my lymph nodes. no spread to bone or brain, though. 48 bags of nuclear chemo later and i'm alright. it's still got me kinda fucked up, mostly feet and hands. but i'm pretty straight now. next scans are Wednesday, so we'll make sure then. but ya know it's "remission", not "gone" for at least 5 years.

i didn't really learn anything from the experience besides cancer sucks, ha. and boy, is it painful. after spread but before chemo, i was in fairly horrific pain in my kidneys, lower back, abdomen. had to be doped up real good. but after only 1-2 chemo treatments (not even cycle or round, but days) the pain was completely gone. real trip there. but with all the steroids they had to pump into me i couldn't sleep for shit, and i worked through the whole thing. only thing that put me to sleep was a couple vicodin. glad i didn't make it out with a habit. i guess being able to be on a little bit of dope was a silver lining or something. but no more of that for me, i like it too much. cheers man!

>>81896315
I hope your single nut stays extra healthy and that a nice lady one day sucks upon it. Stay out of the hospital, retard. It's for stinky old people and fat diabetics, not kings like you.
>i didn't really learn anything from the experience besides cancer sucks, ha
That's all that matters. I regularly take my health for granted and then when I get a decent tummy ache I am instantly reminded that CONSTANTLY living with any sort of pain, even if it's like 2/10 pussy shit, is basically hell on Earth. Cheers indeed.

>>81896468
hey man, i didn't see so much as a primary care physician for like 8 years before this shit. get an occasional cold or maybe-COVID (no test, much less shots)? stay home a few days, drink some OJ. ain't really a hospital or doctor kinda person. but didn't have a choice here lol, i asked the onco for the hell of it "hey, so hypothetically if i refused treatment, what am i looking at, couple years?" "oh no you're dead in 6 months or less that way" WELL SHIT

going out with a nice lady here quite soon to hang out innawoods for a bit. good luck indeed! it was sorta nice to try and cheer up the poor cunts in the chemo ward though when i was there, and be nice to the nurses. naturally depressing atmosphere, as much as they tried to make that not the case. youngest person there by a country mile, and i'm fucking 33. hey, at least my hairline is still relatively intact, i had 18+ inches of hair and of course it all fell out. no longer look like a cancer patient, but now i have to learn how to haircut because before i just let it grow for a decade without doing shit lol