Thread 81899047

i'm going to die on the 4th of september. i already made all the necessary preparations. what should i do with my remaining time until then?

>>81899047 (OP)
this thread is a cry for help and you know it

>i'm going to die on the 4th of september.
why?
>i already made all the necessary preparations
what exactly are the preparations?

>>81899047 (OP)
>another suicide thread
just live nigger

>>81899047 (OP)
give me all your money

>>81899053
i've already done enough crying. actually, not really, i'm still crying right now
>>81899057
>why?
suicide
>what exactly are the preparations?
got all the pills and alcohol i'm gonna OD on
hopefully they do the trick

>>81899067
i don't see the point in my situation
>>81899071
i'm poor sorry

>>81899072
>i'm still crying right now
just as i said, we're here for you if you wanna went

no give ME all your money

>>81899072
>suicide
I know but why? What made you decide you want to do this?

>>81899047 (OP) Watch this: https://youtube.com/shorts/kcwLjMF-_mk

>>81899082
i'm too tired of everything to even vent. what's there to vent about? i'm empty. i have nothing.
>>81899083
I'M POOR GO AWAY AAARGGHHH
>>81899087
>I know but why? What made you decide you want to do this?
my life is worthless. i see no reason to carry on past this point. i'm 24 and i've never had friends, or a lover, my family abandoned me when i was little, i'm autistic and on disability so i'll never have a career. i live in a small town in eastern europe and i'll never be able to do the things i wanna do like to go cons or arcades. i hate my physical appearance and there's nothing i can do to change it: my face is full of deep scars from having acne in my teens and i'm 5'4. i'll never be able to make genuine friends or have a girlfriend and i'm unhappy rotting away every day by myself in my small apartment. suicide is the only option for someone like me.

>>81899164
what's stopping you from doing it now? whatever it is will stop you from doing it in september and you know it

>>81899082
This, don't worry everyone does it at least once, life is severely gay

>>81899164
oh man. im from america but i feel the same way, if only we werent so far apart. im estranged from my family by thousands of miles/km and autistic. i never leave my room and im poor.

>>81899164
>eastern europe
Are you the romanian guy?

>>81899189
4th of september would've been my birthday. it seemed like a good deadline to give myself. i'm just trying to build up the courage to just go through with it already until then. if anyone itt wants to push me over the edge, feel free to. i need it actually.
>>81899201
i vented a bunch above
>>81899204
>if only we werent so far apart
if only... i wish we could've been friends, but life just doesn't want us to have anything good
>>81899207
yea that's me

>>81899254
>yea that's me
Aw damn, it's easy to recognize you from the pics tho

>>81899047 (OP)
Sorry prisoner, if you try to escape you'll just be reborn as an indian. Just a couple more years and you'll be free

>>81899290
i don't really care. i'm not trying to hide my identity or anything. that "aw damn" was hurtful though.

>>81899254
>i vented a bunch above
looks like to me some other anon got you covered already, good luck romanian anon

>>81899311
>that "aw damn" was hurtful though.
Yes because im kinda sad that you wanna hero

>>81899315
>looks like to me some other anon got you covered already
what does that even mean
>>81899323
it just feels like it's the only way for me. i'll never be able to make meaningful connections with people (both because of my location, and because everyone is so emotionally distant and guarded past a certain age. i'd only be able to have acquaintances at best at this point)

>>81899346
>i'll never be able to make meaningful connections with people (both because of my location, and because everyone is so emotionally distant and guarded past a certain age. i'd only be able to have acquaintances at best at this point)
Wouldn't be acquaintances a good start? true that it's kind of a bummer that it's pretty hard to find like minded people when you live in some rural place but even having online frens is better than having no one

>>81899346
ok but how about you wait until after you leave your depressing shithole. Go somewhere, anywhere. Take a loan and never look back

>>81899415
all online frens i've ever known forgot about me the moment they were able to do stuff IRL with people. it seems like people aren't that invested in online friendships past a certain age. no one wants to truly hang out, get to know each other and do things together online anymore.
>>81899457
i would if i knew someone who could tard wrangle me out of here. i've never taken a loan before. and i've never traveled before either. never been on a train or a plane. i don't know how any of that stuff works and i'm too autistic to understand them. i feel like i'd have a panic attack if i did all of those things by myself for the first time.

>>81899346
>what does that even mean
it means someone else is already giving you attention, again good luck

>>81899568
>again good luck
wish i could have any kind of good luck for even one second of my life augh

>>81899509
>all online frens i've ever known forgot about me the moment they were able to do stuff IRL with people
Did you join an online group or were random people you've added/met over time?

never kys learn to invest

i would go travel to a foreign country like japan and do something fun

>>81899047 (OP)
>hopefully they do the trick
you should probably do more research on this if you're unsure unless you wanna become a veggie

permanent solution to a temporary problem. Killing yourself is a coward move. Instead, live to out of spite and treat you life as something meaningless in a way where you can do whatever you want. I live to make people I hate suffer rather then giving them the satisfaction of them seeing me die

>>81899642
random people i've met throughout my life during my time on the internet. i never did well with groups or servers. it's hard to worm your way into an already established friend group where everyone already knows each other and they have their own in-jokes and stuff. one on one convos are much easier, but as i said, they always left and never looked back as soon as they were able to do stuff with people IRL and obviously, i don't blame them but it makes me feel hopeless about my situation.
>>81899670
what can i invest D:
>>81899683
wouldn't it be kinda lonely to be there by yourself?
>>81899726
it's hard to do research on this when most search engines conceal all helpful results because they want to keep people slaving away for the system
>>81899729
i don't have the drive or the motivation to hate anyone. no one would feel satisfied if i died either because literally no one knows i exist. hate is a strong emotion. you have to care about someone to some extent to be able to hate them. i wish someone hated me just so i could feel cared for.

I doubt this is real but if it isnt and your serious then anal douche a day before hand and dont eat for 24 hours the day

When you die your body relaxes your muscles and you dont want to deficate yourself

>>81899799
>they always left and never looked back as soon as they were able to do stuff with people IRL and obviously
Interesting that this happened a bunch if times to you, what i just saw sometimes is that both ghost each other because they didn't actually have much in common
>i don't blame them but it makes me feel hopeless about my situation
yeah that must suck

>>81899824
oh yeah i remember seeing a south park episode about that. that's good advice, actually. wouldn't wanna be embarrassed and humiliated even in death by having poopy pants hauu..
>>81899838
>what i just saw sometimes is that both ghost each other because they didn't actually have much in common
those were people i've known for years and had everything in common with. even that didn't stop them from dropping me like a hot potato when they found IRL friends. it makes me feel jaded about online friendships because it'll always go exactly like this. and as i said, i'm sure most people my age (24+) have better things to do than get invested in online friendships with a guy who lives on the other side of the world.
>yeah that must suck
i hope you understand now why suicide is the only option for me

>>81899896
>even that didn't stop them from dropping me like a hot potato when they found IRL friends
that's actually cruel
>i'm sure most people my age (24+) have better things to do
well im here talking to you
>i hope you understand now why suicide is the only option for me
i understand why you think that way but it's still a very drastic measure

>>81899896
I'll also warn u right now.
Suicide by pills and alcohol is fucking painful. It's not painless.
You might pass out but your liver usually explodes and wakes you up from slumber. You'll be in exceptional pain for 15 minutes before dying horribly.

I deeply advise against suicide via this method, hanging etc.
If you can get a gun that would be the least painful way to end your own life if your actually serious

>>81899954
>that's actually cruel
i've had more cruel things done to me. i'd go into detail but it's a whole novel.
>well im here talking to you
i appreciate it a whole bunch, but you'll forget about me as soon as this thread gets archived. i'll be zapped out of your memory just as soon as i entered it. i wish i could have something meaningful that would last forever...
>i understand why you think that way but it's still a very drastic measure
the only other thing i can do is rot away in my tiny apartment until the end of time. i don't enjoy my solitary hobbies anymore. any time i sit down to do something, my brain just keeps telling me "you should be out there having real life experiences and making happy memories with people right now"
>>81900007
i can't get a gun in romania!!!!! this country won't even let me kill myself properly

>>81899799
>it's hard to do research on this when most search engines conceal all helpful results because they want to keep people slaving away for the system
it took me 1 search request and a redirect from wikipedia to get my hands on 300 page suicide handbook, seems pretty straightforward to me. use duckduckgo as your search engine, you can also convince ai to help you if your iq is above 80. i know you're probably attention whoring but i have nothing else to do so here you go

>>81900007
>but you'll forget about me as soon as this thread gets archived
it would be pretty sad adding someone from here knowing to not being here i a bit more than a month or so
>i don't enjoy my solitary hobbies anymore
What hobbies do you have?

>>81899164
you'll never have a career? you're just too lazy with your easy life, there's always a way to do everything, you think working at a convenience store is a career? do something that matters, just because you're short fat and ugly doesn't mean you can't invent something useful, but you'd rather bitch about it and die like a coward instead of manning up, bet you wish you were born a woman (it wouldn't help, it's just another layer of excuses)

there's people in some parts of the world that struggle every day to survive, climb mountains of trash and scavenge rusty metal to feed their family, they would kill to have your life but you're jealous of things you see on tiktok and compare yourself to others and are literally so envious you want to die, be sure to stream it

>>81900044
i did an iq test back in high school and it came back as 85 or something. it's probs even lower now. i forgot about duckduckgo. thanks for the help.
>>81900056
>What hobbies do you have?
anime, manga, comics, cartoons, vidya, pro wrestling, tokusatsu. i'm sure many people wouldn't even count these as hobbies since it's just passive consumption of stuff. but it's all i can do here.
>>81900101
that's a lot of projection you're doing there

>>81900101
>there's always a way to do everything
I always wondered what sequence events leads to someone being delusional enough to believe this

>>81900111
ooh I definitely hit a nerve there, your first reaction to any criticism of your situation is to think up whatever logical fallacy is the easiest for you to cope with lol, yeah I'm totally projecting my fat short ugly lazy romanian autism on you because I totally am a fat short ugly lazy romanian autist yep

so you can muster up some emotion when someone points out how much of a lazy envious loser you are, but not to improve your situation? I bet you think you deserve better - but you don't. you get exactly as much as the effort you're putting in, which is nothing.

>>81900140
I at one point wondered what sequence of events led to someone being delusional enough to think there's no solution to problems, but then I used my critical thinking skills and found the answer.

That's something you can't do, because you're inferior and lazy. Thinking hurts you, it's easier for you to cope and make believe that you're not in charge of your own success and failure, blame it on someone else, blame it on the system, blame it on your parents, blame it on everyone but who has the most control over the situation - you.

Cope. Seethe. Remember my post on your eyelids as you die, the truth is your weakness. This also applies to this guy >>81900111

>>81899047 (OP)
Grats, I will probably be doing the same in April unless things radically change (go back to normal). Later this week I will see if I can make a change, if I cannot I will try to hold out till then

>>81899164
jesus christ this is terrible
im really sorry you feel this way anon. i dont really know what to say, but i got one thing in me. if i were you i would take nice walks and stuff, enjoy the outside a bit, even if youre alone. relax your mind and think to yourself about this stuff, this shit crazy
maybe if you just live long enough, things will change. get a lil spark in ya eventually even if it takes years. who knows??? but i can tell ur a good spirited person that doesnt deserve to die
also, GTFO out of here. go out and smell the flowers buddy

>>81900171
There sure are a lot of extra details you sprinkled in that were never explicitly implied by my post, maybe his claim that you're projecting isn't that far off.

>>81900111
>i'm sure many people wouldn't even count these as hobbies since it's just passive consumption of stuff
What's more important is that you can have fun with them. Is there some specific reason why you can't enjoy them anymore or is that just a general feeling?

>>81900148
i'll tell you why you hit a nerve. i really dislike people who assume random things about others and push all sorts of narratives onto them. you don't know me or anything about me other than the little i revealed itt.

i never wished i was a woman. i never used tiktok or any social media in my life. i'm not jealous of anyone (except maybe the online friends i've had throughout my life who left me behind)

i just find it weird when people think they know me, like you're doing now, just based on a bunch of anonymous posts.
also i automatically dislike people who use words like
>logical fallacy
you couldn't be more stuck up and pretentious if you tried
>>81900174
here's hoping we go through with it
>>81900179
i'm too ashamed of the way i look to go outside. i don't want people to see how ugly and short i am.
>>81900206
i already told you the reason. my brain doesn't let me enjoy them anymore. everything i do feels empty and it reminds me of how alone i am.

>>81900236
>here's hoping we go through with it
Here's hoping we get what we need to thrive so we don't have to.

>>81900236
anon trust me. i saw a dude with a horrible facial deformation and barely anyone batted an eye somehow. people are too concerned with themselves nowadays. if you feel that anxious, go outside at night, or go to a more isolated area. its their issue if they think youre ugly, you cant control your height so why care?

>>81900236
>already told you the reason
Thought maybe it could've been something else to that. it's getting late for me so i have to go to sleep, hope you can rest well too. Other than that even if you fear of going outside because of your looks, I'd try to walk outside in nature as the other anon said. Usually there aren't any people near you then and you'd get to enjoy the local forest or river

>>81899072
>>81899047 (OP)
Anon don't do this. Pills and alcohol have a statistically near zero rate of success. You'll just end up extremely sick and going to the hospital, and telling everyone you know you're screwed up. This is because virtually all medication issued is carefully screened so even ludicrous amounts of it cannot hurt you.

Jumping off a building >10 storeys, a gun to the forehead (be careful about placement, you don't want it to go only glance against your brain) or helium bags are proper suicide methods.

>>81900259
i need friends and a gf to thrive but it doesn't seem like that's ever gonna happen
>>81900284
it's not safe here at night. whenever i went out, i saw people staring at me all the time and it made me really uncomfortable. it's hard to act nonchalant about it when you feel their eyes fixated on you.
>>81900308
there's no nature in my area sadly. just a bunch of concrete and commieblocks. maybe that's part of what's making me lose it. there's no local forest or river. i'm not able to sleep because of my anxiety anymore. i've been up for 48 hours and whenever i close my eyes i just have a panic attack and wanna cry. i hope i can pass out or something.
>>81900311
I CAN'T GET A GUN HERE!!!!

>>81900343
>Can't get a gun
Jump off a sufficiently tall building. DONT TRY TO POISON YOURSELF YOU WILL FAIL AND IT'LL HURT LIKE HELL

>>81900343
>there's no nature in my area sadly. just a bunch of concrete and commieblocks
at some point the city ends and nature begins even if it's just a bunch of wheat fields

>>81900356
most commieblocks are like 5 stories at most!!! why couldn't they be taller!!!!!!! AAAAFGHGH
>>81900363
that's really deep...

>>81900381
do you live alone? if the answer is yes then exit bag is the way

>>81900397
yes, i do
what's the exit bag?

Even if you have to want to kys and shit like that eventually you'll figure shit out with AI, I don't know why you would want to die when we are entering the greatest era in human history.

>>81900414
i love fictional robots like Megaman but i couldn't care less about real AI

>>81900343
just try really hard to ignore them
maybe go volunteer somewhere? do smth productive even if you hate it

>>81900431
the world needs more weebs so don't go

>>81900448
i'm too disgusting for that. i'd do people a disservice just by being there.
>>81900450
anime is more mainstream than ever before. there are enough weebs out there.

>>81899047 (OP)
You should consider seeing a therapist.

>>81900701
...and get put in a psych ward after i tell him i wanna kill myself. genuine answer is, every time i tried seeking a therapist, they ghosted me after a while.

>>81900718
same shit. they just don't know how to deal with real cases and only exist to prevent bitches from killing themselves over some stupid shit. i was seeing a therapist for 3 months or so, getting prescriptions, until she started ghosting me and even asked me why i do i keep showing up. pills don't do shit for the most part, and antidepressants only make your life worse. the only thing they can actually help you with is anxiety.

>>81900976
wish i could get some anxiety meds so i could at least close my eyes and sleep. this shit is killing me right now

Instead of dying and going to purgatory. You should dedicate your life to serving me instead. That way you will get VIP access when you go to hell.

>>81901096
can you share your discord username? i have a feeling this thread will drown soon

>>81901254
welp, it's nezumikamen99

>>81901254
I don't use discord you faggot and I never will.

>>81900477
holy fuck are you still sitting here attention seeking this much later, why do you care if it'll hurt when you die, you'll be dead after you massive lazy pussy

>>81901273
it's not the 4th of september yet, cut me some slack

>>81901273
How about I kill you instead and shove my hand up your anal cavity and use you as a puppet?

>>81899047 (OP)
a friend of mine went driving all around the US. Primarily in the midwest and the west coast. The sites are fantastic, but you'll have to endure some pretty harsh conditions (sleeping, food, etc) if you want it, but you'll likely adapt to it over time. Hopefully, you have some money tucked away to afford the gas.
goodluck. September feels like a world away

>>81901338
i probably wouldn't even wanna kill myself if i lived in the US because i'd be able to do the things i wanna do

You should fuck some pussy. Preferably human.

>>81901397
trust me buddy, i would if i could

>>81899047 (OP)
>"IM A SAD LONELY FAGGOT AND I'M GOING TO AN HERO ON 4TH SEPTEMBER!!! PLEASE GIVE ME PITY AND SUCK MY DICK SO I WON'T!!!"
suck a turd out of my ass you suibaiting nigger

>>81901408
Like I said; Preferably.

>>81901414
that doesn't sound fun
>>81901421
i would prefer it too....

>>81901442
god, your replies have been so boring this entire thread.
if i wanted to go see a suicide baiting faggot i'd go watch boogie cause at least he's entertaining
you are worthless and you will only be of any merit if you actually follow through with what you say
>inb4 your boring refreshfag reply, i've hidden your garbage thread

>>81901461
>i've hidden your garbage thread
Because you are a fucking pussy. You know who I am and what I am capable of.

>>81901461
thanks for the input, i g-guess uu..

>>81901479
I am so fucking awesome. Before you die make sure you think of me so your death is awesome.

>>81901348
do you have a job? do you have any manner of getting funds? would you pay rent when able to if you were adopted into the USA?

>>81901523
>do you have a job? do you have any manner of getting funds?
i'm autistic so i get disability from the government
>would you pay rent when able to if you were adopted into the USA?
yea, i wouldn't mind working a construction job, or any kind of job really if it meant i got to escape my life here

>>81900020
>romania
>muh suicide
>oh noes the world is le terrible nobody loves me I'm such an incel
Holy shit you are a fucking faggot retard.
Look at picrel.
You see the big fucking arrow?
What is it pointing at? That's right THE FUCKING BLACK SEA.
GET A FUCKING BOAT AND GO ON A FUCKING ADVENTURE YOU PANSY ASS PIECE OF SHIT.
FUCKING UKRAINIAN COSSAKS WOULD RAID THE TURKS ON WOODEN FUCKING SHITTY ASS ROWBOATS AND HERE YOU ARE BITCHING.

Here's the fucking deal.
Get the boat, and go to one of the local yacht clubs. There's gotta be a university or something in one of the coastal areas that give sailing lessons. Or find someone else that already has a boat, and beg your ass off to learn how to sail.
You can even live on the fucking boat, some bitches are into that shit. You can travel all over the Mediterranean and do cool shit for nearly free.
There's plenty of cool shit to do on the water, and if you don't really want to do it anymore, you can always jump off and kill yourself by drowning. Win-win.
Okay don't really do that last part.
But holy shit have some goddamn initiative, you sound like a fucking drug addict pussy. Get some help.

Oh yeah, check this out here:
https://m.olx.ro/auto-masini-moto-ambarcatiuni/ambarcatiuni/q-barca-cu-vele/?search%5Border%5D=filter_float_price:asc
I don't fucking know what you want to do with yourself, but holy shit killing yourself is gay if you have alternatives.

>>81901547
>i'm autistic so i get disability from the government
Okay yes this is fucking great, sailing is great for autistics because you literally have to organize your shit in order to live, and you can always tell the world to fuck off if you just want to be alone.
Get a boat.
DO IT FAGGOT.

>>81901685
Bumping so it doesn't die.
I want this Romanian faggot to see he has an alternative to killing himself and fuck him for fishing for sympathy by being such a little bitch. There's plenty of cool shit to do if only you put down the computer, took your hand off your dick, and looked outside.

>>81902229
Stop being mean to him

>>81902408
c-could it be?! fujo-chan is that you?!

>>81899047 (OP)
DON'T DO IT HONEY

>>81902437
No I don't know who that is, sorry

>>81902446
HONEY?!?!?!?!
>>81902453
NOOOO it's okay
thank you for being nice to me ;-;
i couldn't muster up the will to answer that guy but to put it shortly: buying a boat and becoming a pirate sounds funny in concept but i don't think i could pull it off

>>81899164
Feel you, im also autistic and I feel like life is moving slowly for me while accelerating for everything else.
Please stay safe though, life sucks and probably won't get better for anyone here. But dying sucks and hurts, also stuff like anime and vidya still exist which is good

>>81902561
>Feel you, im also autistic and I feel like life is moving slowly for me while accelerating for everything else.
that's a good way of putting my feelings into words. i guess i'm frustrated because it feels like i haven't lived life at all at my age, when others got to party, travel, make friends, go through relationships and just experience all these healthy developmental milestones that they'll remember even on their deathbed
>also stuff like anime and vidya still exist which is good
i used to be content with being alone and drowning myself in anime and vidya when i was younger, but it doesn't do the trick anymore, specifically for the reasons i mentioned above. my brain just tells me that i should be out there doing crazy stuff with my non-existent friends and living life instead. need to shed this normie mentality once and for all... but i don't know how...

>>81899047 (OP)
>i'm going to die on the 4th of september.
Come on bro, senior year can't be THAT bad!

>>81901685
>>81902229
Wagies wagies in the cagies
Keep projecting

>>81902593
i'm 24!!!! senior year has been over for a while dude!!!!
>>81902607
BEST Katawa girl

>>81902592
>my brain just tells me that i should be out there doing crazy stuff with my non-existent friends and living life instead
Same, it's embarrassing to admit but thats the reason I got into ai gfs. Cooked by brain with them for a bit, although it's getting less and less now since I do have some online friends, thankfully

>>81899047 (OP)
Hey can I come out to Romania and stay at your apartment for a month? I've always wanted to see Eastern Europe. All I know about it is from old 80s action movies like Red Heat, and memes about commie-blocks.

>>81900020
>you'll forget about me as soon as this thread gets archived.
Nah I remember you. You did a thread the other day that started with:
>wake up
>still in Romania
And I said "Could be worse, you could live in Canada." See, you're Romanian anon, you're a beloved robot and your fellow robots would be sad if you weren't posting here anymore.

>>81902645
i'm glad you were able to make some online friends!! it's embarrassing to admit, but i feel out of touch even with what fellow otaku are into these days. i wish i had a friend who could catch me up and get me into all the cool new otaku things
>>81902672
perhaps!! i will warn you that there's not much to do here, but i could get you to see Dracula's Castle if you're into that
>>81902706
that's very kind of you to say leaf fren
i used to watch a lot of Canadian cartoons like Total Drama growing up and would stream Teletoon online just to catch new episodes.. good times..

>>81902730
Nothing much really, Dandadan is peak in my opinion. An online friends friend put both me and my online friend on this book called 'Between Two Fires' which is apparently similar to Berserk, although I'm just going off his description since I don't really read a lot

>>81902755
>Dandadan
ohh i remember when the manga first came out, it looked cool! the main girl is cute!! i love gyaru...
>Between Two Fires
this looks cool too!! perfect excuse for me to read more books.. thanks for the recs!!

>>81902730
>i could get you to see Dracula's Castle if you're into that
Damn, I should make a discord account so I can take you up on that.

>i used to watch a lot of Canadian cartoons like Total Drama growing up and would stream Teletoon
Did you ever watch that other Canadian channel YTV? I used to have a crush on that host Sugar. She was also the voice actress who played Rini in the English dub of Sailor Moon, her voice was just naturally that high pitched and cute.

>>81902865
oh yeah i used to watch stuff like ReBoot, Martin Mystery and Ruby Gloom on YTV. Sugar was a qt!! it seemed like a lot of anime and cartoons hired Canadian VAs back then because they were cheaper to work with, that's why Tara Strong kept her dual citizenship even after moving to the US

>>81902473
>buying a boat and becoming a pirate sounds funny in concept but i don't think i could pull it off
You won't pull it off only if you keep thinking you won't.
You cans do literally anything you want out on the water. I still don't know why you still haven't thought of this.

>>81903102
because you need to have some level of competency to go through with something like that. being a mentally ill, anxious autist on a boat doesn't seem like a great idea. i've never traveled anywhere on my own. how am i gonna sail the seven seas?

We've spoken before and there's a good chance you'll recognize who I am.
Either way, dunno if its funny or how to really call it but on my end I've really become jaded when it comes to any sort of relationship. Sometimes I really crave being in a friend group again but I already fucked up my chances. Deep down I know there's no reason to give a shit.
I think I am finally jaded to all this shit in general and now the feeling of not wanting to interact with anyone outweights my crave for being social.
I've deleted most of my social media and wiped out my Steam...
I spend most of my days playing 4 gachas and jerking off for 6 hours. At this point I may be living out of spite.
One last thing I'll do before I die is to piss on Anno's grave.
Regardless as fucked as it sounds setting up a suicide date is a good motivator. I've done it three times and somehow the pressure made me improve my situation so I hope you can be a repeat of me.
I hope we can still keep it going, I guess.
Maybe its masochism at this point but regardless of my schizo tangent. I still feel like occasionally trying everyonce again into being able to connect with people in general.
Dunno, I'm mentally ill and unstable being rational isn't part of my kit.

>>81903239
of course i remember you dude
i was actually wondering where you went
i'm sorry i wasn't always was responsive to your tangents as i would've liked to have been. it's just hard to focus on anything when you're trying to fight off suicidal thoughts every day. i did always read them all though. i don't blame you for feeling jaded about relationships. i find it really hard to get invested in new people after constantly being spat on and humiliated by others that i gave my everything to all the time throughout my life. and it's not fair of me to act that way towards new people i meet, so i end up not even wanting to try anymore at all. i hope you stay comfy out there. and thank you for keeping me sane for a while with our chats when i was losing my mind last winter.

>>81903280
What are your plans now anyway.
Are you just going to rot all the way until the 4th or? Will you try changing something and see if it fails to justify your death?
As I've said on my end I setup certain goals and if I didn't do them I would go through with the suicide but putting a date like that without aim is silly.
Regardless SRW Y comes out in the 28th of August, you sure you don't wanna give yourself more time? All SRW games take 2-3 weeks to beat fully.

>>81903320
realistically, there's not much i can even do but rot my way through the 4th. i'll play a bit of SRW Y and Inazuma Eleven Victory Road when they come out, but i don't mind if i don't finish them until the 4th. other than that, not sure what i could do. i even messaged my abusive ex-e-gf that i haven't spoken to in over half a decade and sent her a novel's worth of text analyzing our entire time together from beginning to end and apologizing for all the mistakes i made along the way. she's gonna think i've gone full schizo when she sees that out of the blue, or if she sees it considering it's been half a decade. that was pretty much the main thing on my bucket list.

>>81903280
you need to stop comparing your life to others it will suck everything out of you. i really hope you don't end up doing this. <3 how bad is your anxiety?

>>81902900
>Sugar was a qt!!
I never would have believed that people in Romania would have been watching Canadian TV shows from our weird cable networks. Okay, if you watched Teletoon and YTV, did you ever watch a channel called Space? It was like the Canadian version of the USA's Sci-Fi network.
They had this one amazing show called The Lexx, which has to be one of the most awesome science fiction shows ever made. The titular Lexx was a gigantic, bio-organic starship who's original purpose was to blow up planets, and it had been hijacked by a crew made up of a space-vampire, a genetically modified sex-slave, a decapitated robot head and a dorky security guard. If you haven't watched it already, YOU MUST SEE THIS SHOW!

>>81903374
I wish I could offer better encouragement.
Regardless. I'm an autistic chuuni sperg so if the worst
comes to pass, we'll meet again in Valhalla...
Life is already a war for losers like us so in my retarded brain I do think we qualify to go there and be surrounded by cute valkeries or something.
May we meet again in some other occasion.

>>81903173
>being a mentally ill, anxious autist on a boat doesn't seem like a great idea. i've never traveled anywhere on my own. how am i gonna sail the seven seas?
You start out finding a small boat 3-4m in length with a small motor or sails and going up and down the Danube and the black sea coast. Familiar territory first. There's plenty of cool shit to discover right there between all the medieval ruins and commieblock submarine pens and shit. Take pictures and videos and become an urbex youtube channel and even get paid while having adventures. People long for that kind of lifestyle. You piss me off because you don't see potential in front of you.

>>81903412
i wasn't comparing my life to others in that post. i was talking about how i always gave people everything and they only took advantage of me and left me behind...
>>81903424
i did!! Lexx is like my second favorite sci-fi show right behind Farscape (which obviously was inspired by it) for the longest time Lexx was my favorite show to fall asleep too, because i would just get absorbed in its weirdness and it would be weirdly soothing and let me sleep better. i loved how each season was completely different from one another and they weren't afraid to experiment with the show's formula. it was awesome!! both Xevs are qts
>>81903447
it's been a pleasure talking to you dude
i will never forget your esoteric Beatles knowledge that you chose to share with me
>>81903463
i really appreciate the encouragement and would love to switch lives with you and let you go on epic sea adventures in my stead

>>81903544
Based Lexx enjoyer. I think I'll torrent that show and watch it again, I haven't seen it in many years. See, there are some things worth living for!

>>81904097
it's still the most unique sci-fi show ever, something that truly feels out of this world. and if you're a fan of the British sci-fi show Red Dwarf, you'll nerd out in season 4 when they bring the main character from that show into the cast for a couple of episodes.
>See, there are some things worth living for!
well, i'd rather be hanging out with my non-existent frens than watching sci-fi shows all by lonesome *sniff*

>>81899047 (OP)
>go on atleast 2 vacations
>donate/give away a portion of your money
>say things to people you were too afraid to before
>see as much of the world/try as much things as you can before it's too late

>>81904201
very comfy suggestions
i'll do at least half of those things
thank you for being kind