>feel nervous, anxious, angry or scared
>binge eat and force myself to throw up
>instant dopamine rush and feel more in control
I've been doing this for over 10 years. What's wrong with me?

>>81900833 (OP)
You literaly said it in the first line
You're completely consumed by some trauma that you refuse to move past and have made your entire identity.

>>81900874
oh fuck not op but what are we haunted by what is eating our minds