When did things go wrong for you? Is there anything you could have realistically done to change the outcome of things?

>22
>dysfunctional family of 6
>h ave not had a christmas together since 2017
>everyone in family hates each other
>2 months ago, older brother tried to kill himself[failed]
why the fuck did things have to go the way they did? I wish everything was better. why am i like this

when no one came to my 10th birthday party after i invited the whole class, yes, it ended that early for me

18 now

i was diagnosed with autism at 2 years old and i had seizures as a baby which probably fucked me up permanently

you've probably heard the lonely autist speal so ill spare you it

all my grandparents have passed and my dad is 60 and my mum is 46 so yeah basically i was fucked from the start

>>81902816
can't have a single unique experience in this day and age...

>>81902851
why do all parents insist on being horrible human beings, it makes 0 sense to me

>>81902871

My parents aren't horrible people, they've just been through a lot

My dad lost both of his parents at 13 and my mum had her previous husband stabbed to death before she met met my dad and she had to raise my sister by herself

>>81902775 (OP)
>When did things go wrong for you
Birth, I was born with problems. I will let other anons decide where to draw the line though.
>three
It's when I became a case study and was started on antidepressants
>six
It's when I started showing signs of psychosis, and when they suspected autism. It's when I first started anti-psychotics. Also when I started using the internet.
>eight
It's when other kids started noticing the problems and I was starting to be hospitalized.
>nine
It's when my grandfather died
>twelve - eighteen
It's when I was rarely at school due to problems
>twelve
It's when one of my parents catfished me
>thirteen
It's when I started trolling and being a shit online
>fourteen
It's when grandmother died on my birthday while I was in a mental ward, also the year they officially confirmed autism that they suspected way back. First time I almost died.
>fifteen
When I officially became good at computers and had many lulz.
>sixteen
It was the last time I had a single friend. Second time I almost died.
>seventeen
It's when my entire family stopped being close
>nineteen
When someone I cared about took their head off with a shotgun. Third time I almost died.
>twenty four
It's when I got betrayed by someone the worst, and I developed an alcohol problem. Fourth time I almost died.
>twenty six
When some relatives became insane and tried killing each other and me
>thirty four
Twenty four happened again. Fifth time I almost died.
>current year
I am but a husk wandering forlorn amongst a sea of nothingness

>>81902959
I could add way more but these are stand out shitty moments

>>81902775 (OP)
I just never cared about anything. I'm not depressed, I'm happy for the most part. I just don't care to do anything. Lately I can't even talk to people. I mean I try, I open my mouth, and nothing comes out so I shut it again. It's not anxiety it's just a complete and utter lack of care. Maybe if I experienced more warmth in my youth it would have been different, maybe I just learned to retreat from it all and take solace in daydreams, maybe it wouldn't have mattered and this is always how it had to be. But I don't care so it doesn't even bother me. I'll be homeless, starving under a bridge at some point and I won't care then either. Oh well.

>>81902959
>>twelve
>It's when one of my parents catfished me
I'm sorry that happened to you.
reading the rest of your reply, I'm so sorry that all of this has happened to you
no one deserves this

>>81903049
Thank you, though looking at what I wrote I accidentally listed something that happened at 26 as well as happening at 24. I must apologize for that.

when i was 17 i left high school bc i was planning on killing myself
now i have to live with less than the minimum salary

>>81902775 (OP)
>When did things go wrong for you?
When I was born with the 'tism and it was never diagnosed in childhood.
Losing my folks fucked me up. Though I was doomed to perma-NEETdom after the 2008 cataclysm.
I baldceled in my mid-20s, and I never escaped being a manlet.
>Is there anything you could have realistically done to change the outcome of things?
As much as I wish I could have done things differently, there was no escaping my NEETcel destiny.
Globalism, fuck apps, and social media ruined everything.
I may have had a chance to actually get money/pussy had I been a generation older.