I won't be one of those old lonely dudes who never got married and are living husks.
If I'm not married or have a long-term GF, I will kill myself the day before my 40th birthday.
8 YEARS REMAINING.

>>81905064 (OP)
>32
>doesn't have a gf
buddy you're like a decade overdue

Instead he wants to be a divorcee that's an empty husk.

I never been an old lonely person as I am 29. However, I also never had a gf btw.
I would say you seem to be depressed right now and frustrated. My suggestion is to take care of yourself mentally and physically in terms of health. For example morning walks and good sleep.
Give yourself kindness even positive affirmations. Just understand that relationship status does not have to define your self worth. You have family and friends that will be there with you throughout life so you are not lonely, and/or you can make new friends too.
You have a right to exist in this world.

>>81905064 (OP)
How is your plan for the year 39?
Will you go for extreme measures and fly to south east asia to find a wife there? The chance to find a young woman who wants a man with a western passport is quite high there.