>>82061305 (OP)
>I don't wanna spend the rest of my life like this, my life fucking sucks
-Said by someone who has only been alive for ~18 years and has never actually got to experience life as an adult.
I'd call you retarded, but what you really are is a foolish kid. I won't tell you making friends gets much better in college (if anything it gets worse as everyone is on their phones and refuses to interact with anyone). But life will get better. You want to make friends? Could try getting a job, maybe even at your college. Could also try a hobby place if you're into any of that (if you aren't, I recommend trying to make yourself get into it), like pokemon tcg, magic the gathering, other card games, warhammer 40k, sigmar. I recommend warhammer 40k if you can understand wargames, sigmar if you want it simpler; because people in that hobby will walk up to you and try to make friends with you as they always need new members to play against.
Could also try religious groups in college, but that's only if you're fine with being friends with "normies", for lack of a better word
There are definitely ways for you to make friends, and also, you lose almost all of your friends once you leave high school. People just drift apart, so don't beat yourself up thinking you're behind in the world.
Though about the autism, I gotta recommend seeing a therapist, someone who specializes in autism; especially if you have poor emotional management. You may have autism, but you aren't going to be unable to fit in for life. You can learn how to socialize, read behaviors, understand social ques, and handle your emotions, but it will require work. So don't ever think that you will be like this for life.
You can live a good life, but if you spend your life wallowing on how shit it is, you will end up in the same exact spot 5 years later. Ok? Make sure you remember that. Never give up the grind is what I am saying.
Also as for not having a gf, dude you're 18, chill out man, it's ok. It's normal
