Thread 82068144

I believe I've fallen very deeply in love with a male friend of mine. I've only known him for about 3 years now but I'm confident he is the single best person I've ever met. He's perfect in every way and when I am with him it feels like everything is right. This is the only homosexual attraction I have ever felt and although I feel it very strongly and with great certainty, I doubt I will ever feel this way about another member of the same sex again. I can't picture it.
I don't believe the feeling is mutual and I don't intend to act on these feelings in any meaningful way but it has thrown a wrench in the way I perceive myself and relationships (both romantic and platonic) as a whole. This feeling is unbearable. I feel like a fag and I am in continually intensifying yearning. I'm unsure of how to proceed.

>>82068144 (OP)
>what is platonic love

My childhood best friend and I were a thing for a while, from teen years into our twenties, then mutually decided to go separate ways to one day have normal lives, a wife and kids. Hes the only person I've ever been gay for.

>>82068172
It's more than platonic. There is a sexual element to the feeling as well. That element only exists for him and women, no other men.

>>82068229
I'm familiar with the circumstances you describe. No other man, with whatever degree of familiarity, ever engendered the same feelings of longing, lust; love. It was as if I had certainly found my soulmate. He is intelligent, kind, brotherly, strong without arrogance, self-aware without insecurity, and he had a great mind for both telling and listening to stories - I loved spending time with him, I was smitten. I believe he could tell after a while - at the height of my feelings of longing towards him, he told me about a gay man who had tried to hit on him, and that while he understood as a man the desire to go after a person you're attracted to, he was repulsed because he is straight. I took it subtextually as a cue to back off, but our friendship remained one of mutual respect until he moved a few years later.
Now that our association is done, I sometimes wish I had confessed my feelings to him, but it's a delusional wish. What's done is done, and had I made such an approach, nothing would have changed in the end.
My best advice is to try and see past what you love about the man and examine the reality of the situation. You say the feeling is not mutual and you are likely right. It is best to dispense with the one-sided dynamic if you can manage to do so.

>>82068469
Christ I wish love wasn't so irrational and cruel. I wish it was as easy as simply willing my way out of this feeling.

>>82068144 (OP)
>I doubt I will ever feel this way about another member of the same sex again. I can't picture it.
i thought that too but it kept happening

>>82068469
you made the right choice not coming out to a straight guy

>>82068205
so do you just like. go around constantly knowing that you had sex with a dude or what. like does that make you shudder in hindsight or

>>82068791
I'm unbothered. That may as well have been another life.

>>82068144 (OP)
You are bisexual, anon. You are overthinking it.

"I wouldn't feel this for any other man!!!!1111"

Women think the same exact thing about men, they find all men repulsive and disgusting except chad.

>>82068855
NTA but I kinda get it. I had a huge crush on my childhood friend. Never even felt that way for another man. I'm pretty sure I'm straight because I'm only attracted to women but it was weird that I was very attracted to him.

>>82068205
further details regarding the events and fate of the relationship needed. greentext plox

>>82068144 (OP)
>Can you be gay for one specific person?
Some would say yes. Love is love and love is strange. It can pop out of nowhere and is blind. Some will say sexuality is a spectrum and everyone has their place in it. Some would say what you feel is beautiful and add a name for it like Demisesual. Some will say it's healthy to explore and introspect about your sexulity and accept what you find.
And some will say you are gay.
Why are you gey?

>>82069178
>unironically used "love is love" on 4chan dot org
I admire your courage 2bh

>>82068144 (OP)
i've had a strong crush on one woman who is now a trans man
and i'm 100% straight so yeah i guess it's possible. at least you are in contact with this guy though i would kill to be in contact with my soulmate who i'll never interact with anymore

>>82068144 (OP)
I always thought I was straight or just bicurious at most but when I had a male friend who I was emotionally open with and who would comfort me when I was feeling down, I started having fantasies of him passionately fucking me. Maybe I'm just a faggot but I feel like if it were more normalized to be emotional and vulnerable with your male friends we would see a lot more bisexual and gay dudes. It's probably underestimated how much emotional connection contributes to romantic and subsequently sexual feelings

Fucking hell OP, you're making me cry

>>82072344
It's not all bad, I'm still grateful I get to spend time with him at all. He brings me joy, not just pain.

>>82068144 (OP)
I literally never felt love like this LMAO

>>82068144 (OP)
i have never felt sexual love and threads like these make me feel like im missing something really special and lovely

>>82072713
No, I mean I'm a similar situation
I'm in love with this guy too but he has a gf, and though I know he's bi, I'm not really the kinda guy to snatch up someone's bf
>He brings me joy, not just pain.
:'(
dont cry because it passed, smile because it happened - at least now OP, you realize this kind of love CAN exist

>>82068144 (OP)
unless you can see yourself or fantasize about having sexual acts with him, i don't think so and it's >>82068172

you're basically describing my first crush i had on my childhood friend minus the intense need to hug and kiss him

>>82068144 (OP)
Yeah it's totally possible, my best friend and I had a fling for a year or two, we never were into men but I guess we where very curious about it and each other. It was kinda weird but nice, ultimately we knew it wouldn't last cause weren't really into men and because he was pretty much on his gf with me.
You should take MDMA together and see what happens lel.