Thread 82074009

It pains me that I'll never be myself, my true unequivocal self
Wherever I go, whomever I meet, I have to put on a mask - a mask that conforms to societal standards around me

Reality sinks in when I'm with people and they start talking about deeper topics that impact who I am, what I am, etc. These are good people but it feels like I have to be careful on what I say to never let the mask slip.

Same, anon.
Though I wish I could be half-drunk all the time, so my autist 'wall' isn't so solid.

>>82074625
I can't even BE drunk since I live in a Muslim country
I live next to a mosque for crying out loud

>>82074763
>muslim country
Go back to your country. Islam is wrong

>>82074812
nigger I'm not a muslim!

jusf don't be a bad person, idiot

>>82074009 (OP)
can you control it?
I have something similar but I can't really loosen up around people and I don't know what to say, honestly I'm like that most of the time, like me brain doesn't make thoughs
>deeper topics that impact who I am
could you get an example?

>>82074878
>jusf don't be a bad person, idiot
Not OP, but you seem to do just fine being a bad person, so clearly that's not the issue here.

>>82074009 (OP)
What are you talking about anon? You are always your true self. There is no other you. Perhaps you might want to act in a more unrestrained fashion in certain circumstances or want to express your feelings and ideas more openly but you are always you. There is no such thing as a true self. What you see is what you get.

Don't waste your time and energy comparing who you are to an imaginary measuring stick that exists only in your mind.

>>82074935
controlling it as in scaling back what I think? holding my tongue at what I perceive to be injustice or irrationality?
>could you get an example?
the most recent one would be me having an argument with a friend of mine over him blaming the Chinese for his business failing (hint: his business failed because he neglected it)
I don't wanna act all high and mighty and say I'm not without prejudice but still, I was taught the world and the people within are rational folks - but *actually* meeting/talk to irrational folks? idk man it rubs me the wrong way

maybe I'm just naive, man
maybe it really is the Chinese and the Jews, idk anymore

>>82075117
No, everyone gets an *aspect* of me - a figment, a slice, no one knows me for me, the true me
>Don't waste your time and energy comparing who you are to an imaginary measuring stick that exists only in your mind.
It's very real
To my mom I'm still the fat kid who likes to eat everyone else's food
To my siblings, I'm still the goofy big bro who's never gotten a gf
To my friends, I'm the friend willing to help whenever and is always there for them

here's the crazy part, I'm not fat anymore, I've had flings before, and I need help myself sometimes - but they don't see that, they don't *want* to see that

Everyone's got this idea of me, but they've never seen me for me, not even my family

>>82075086
sorry you feel that way, but hopefully your delusions improve

>>82075306
>but hopefully your delusions improve
It's not delusion when accused people of things they did not do

>>82075306
>but hopefully your delusions improve
It's not a delusion because you accused someone of things they did not do.

>>82074009 (OP)
That's why so many of us "weirdo outcasts" intentionally choose solitude and loneliness over having to act fake to conform to this phony insane asylum that is society. Also why I quit working and chose early retirement, minimalism and neetdom over wageslaving and chasing money. Some people are so hopelessly codependent they just can't understand it and wrap their brains around choosing nothing instead of whatever they can get. I would literally rather every other human drop dead and be alone on this planet than have to fake a smile and performative friendliness/agreeablenees and nicesties every day just to get along with people I despise and find disgusting. So I make my choices and survive how I can accordingly. People will preach time and time again to "find your tribe" and "people that accept you for you" and all that it motivational shit. It sounds good in theory but the reality is most people will never find even one person like that, that level of honesty, authenticity and compatibility . And the thing is we all have to get through life anyways regardless of the circumstances no matter how shitty or optionless. So ya everyone finding "their people" sounds nice but in reality most people won't and life goes on, until death. This whole dynamic trips up young people and fucks with their expectations because they've mostly been constantly lied to and given unrealistic expectations on people and social dynamics.

>>82075333
i do not care about your manufactured parasocial discord e-drama delusions. stop trying to derail the thread

>>82074009 (OP)
People constantly repressing their authentic thoughts, feelings and behavior is a lot of what ails modern society. They've created a social construct where in order to survive and get along, people are having to constantly be performative and fake and having to invalidate/supress how they really feel. Look at who is at the "top" of this modern society politicians, actors, entertainers (musicians, comedians, athletes etc), ceos, all the richest and "most successful" people their entire life is all about being fake and performative lying for personal gain and attention. It's driving the average person crazy that's why schizophrenia and random violent sperg out crimes keep increasing.

>>82075472
>>82075565
You guys give out great points overall
Maybe I do have a soul left in me, since I'm feeling this way

You just gotta compromise, huh?

>>82075475
You did that right here >>82074878, not on discord. I didn't write that, you did.

>>82074009 (OP)
Maybe try finding a group of similar people or go to a party like Burning Man or something. They preach about being yourself