Have a seat and tell me how your parents fucked you up

>>82075993 (OP)
My mom is a tomboy and i grew up with basically 2 dads

>>82075993 (OP)
They didn't let me experience many things when I was a kid. They treated me like a daughter, restricting me from staying out late or going out too much. They also wouldn't let me do many things I wanted to do, and they forced me to do things I didn't want to do.

>>82075993 (OP)
Mom gave me autism, dad beat mom cause he's a meth head retard and went to prison. Mom never hugged me or said she loved me because she's fucking autistic.

>>82075993 (OP)
Most anons on here didn't have the happy childhood I did and my heart goes out to them, but here are some things which shaped my outlook on autonomy and privacy:
Act 1: Have more sleepovers
>Mum put a second bed in my room to encourage me to have friends over more often for sleepovers when I was 12
>It is used for this purpose once
>Becomes the spare bed which is offered to everyone for the next 3 years
>End up sleeping in the lounge room for a modicum of privacy most nights
>Finally disassemble the bed when I buy myself a computer
Act 2: Store these things
>Sister starts dating an apprentice builder
>His parents kick him out the moment he has a job and my parents put a roof over his head
>Dude has ADHD and impulse buys a lot of crap, which ends up all over the house
>I have to give over a wall shelf in my room to help store his things
>He's in and out of my room constantly, especially when he starts having fights with my sister
>Sister dumping him felt like I was getting some privacy back
Act 3: Your computer is not yours
>Set up computer where second bed was
>Outdated piece of shit, but it's mine
>Come home one day and my sister has filled it up with programs
>Get yelled at when I uninstall them all
>Parents side with sister
>She has her own laptop and the family PC is still around, but my computer is prefect for her to do taxes on, apparently
>Forced to share computer on pain of having it moved from my room
>Dad won't let me take it back for a refund
>Mum says she'll take the money off me if I find a way to take it back as punishment for not sharing
>Says she'll re-buy the computer and only let me use it for homework
>Eventually "win" because sister does her taxes once per month, but is constantly on my computer
>She installs the next yearly build of the tax program on the family PC and I finally have my room back just before I turn 16

I'm now paranoid when people hang around my place too long or ask me to store things.

>>82075993 (OP)
They coddled me too much

>>82075993 (OP)
Distant dad and too intrusive mother.

They fucked me up my loving me too much and give me everything I ever wanted and more. Even now I am 35 and still living at home with them and they have never once tried to get me out or even tried or make me get a job or even do anything with my life, so I am now incurably lazy. Curse of the the affluent Christian parents with one child.

>>82075993 (OP)
I was never taught basic human skills, I can still function but it's like knowing algebra2 and still not able to do your times table past 5

>>82075993 (OP)
My mom was a neurotic mess that beat the shit out of me and scolded me for every little thing, so now I'm a useless retard as a result.

>>82075993 (OP)
My dad was largely fine, but he literally got his soul sucked out by my mom and not in the fun way. Growing up he was pretty much a chad despite his own dysfunctional family, now he is just a bitter shell of that. But my mom,
>big time drug addict, on and off alcohol problems
>BPDemon to the extreme, flat out moved the entire family to a different state for a job she lost days before just so she could fuck around with some wigger drug dealer while stealing 1500 bucks that was supposed to go to security deposit type shit from me
>constantly tries to gaslight everyone
>had me and my first brother in more shady/dangerous situations than I can count
>never paid for shit, no utilities and food outside of what I paid for was a common occurrence
>genuine crabs in a bucket psycho mind to where she would try to sabotage everyone around her
>spent my childhood and teen years basically being my siblings dad because neither parent could really be assed to do much of that kind of thing, STILL has that kind of learned helplessness mindset that pisses me off to no end
>she laughed at me when I told her I got assaulted as a pre teen
I can go on but you get the idea. Thank fuck I had my aunt and especially my grandfather because I dont even want to know how much worse I would be without them. I think I came a pretty long way from those days and am pretty stable overall, esp since most in my situation tend to either be druggies or bums, but I am still constantly on edge over perceived bullshit or sleights and shit anyways. Also find it hard to trust anyone in any serious relationship and feel I always have to be improooving or I will be a total failure that gets sent right back to that garbage dump I clawed out of. Never bothered with that retarded therapy shit, I just compartmentalized everything, figured out why some things really pissed me right off, and continue to grind my ass off to get as far away from that shit as possible.

Mom
>high school dropout
>narcissist
>OCD
>controlled me all my life
>wasn't allowed to go outside without supervision
>wasn't allowed to bring friends over since she didn't like them
>kept interfering with school until I was known as "the kid with that weird mom"
>never taught me any life skills

Dad
>went to college but was a NEET until his 40s
>probably autistic
>lacks social skills
>struggles to control his emotions
>would come home from work late, pretty much mentally absent after he came home, stayed up late every day
>fought with my mom all the time
>often slept in separate bed
>was excluded from holiday trips sometimes
>needs help with basic things, doesn't know how to cook or do the laundry

I was basically raised without parents. I didn't learn how messed up my upbringing was until much later. I'm here for a reason.

it doesn't even matter
I spend so much time thinking how my parents fucked me up
but the world won't give a fuck
and why would they? random people can't bear that responsibility of fixing a broken manchild
people have already been kind enough to me just for listening to me and helping me at all
that stuff happened so long ago and lamenting it isn't going to make any of it better
I'll just keep getting older and farther away from any sense of community or family
if I don't figure things out, I won't get anything at all out of this life no matter how much I bitch about how I was wronged in the past

sometimes i wonder how this conversation is going to go if i ever manage to find myself in an intimate relationship. i wish i had something normal i could say, like my parents divorced or passed away or whatever else. my childhood was such a bizarre horror story i don't know if i'll ever be able to tell anyone without them looking at me differently from then on.

>>82077653
how'd your dad get married as a NEET anon? my dad used to work but funny enough stopped working almost immediately after I was born lol. mom and dad would constantly get in fights for this reason. after I was already grown up, he started working again for some reason lol.

>>82077701
he's a boomer, that was possible back then. my grandma paid for his expenses. he was a manchild pretty much. i've asked my mom why she married him but she never gave a direct answer. i think she wanted kids so she took the first guy she could find.

>>82077837
genuinely grim how easy dating was back then, ive seen so many boomer couples where the husband was a NEET. i wish i could get a cute boomer gf but she's my age

>>82077837
It baffles me how easy it was back then to get married and have kids. Why didn't she just go for a guy who had his shit together instead?

>>82077860
you haven't heard the part where he got a mortgage for a (now) 500k home with his starter job. boomers were playing life on tutorial mode.

>>82077909
idk she got dumped by a few guys before and was in her mid 30s so her clock was running out? or maybe if she went for a guy who had his shit together my life wouldn't suck as hard and we can't have that can we.

>>82077929
do you love your father even though he's a manchild? I love my dad but I'm very conflicted in my feelings for him. I went 20+ yrs not realizing how bad he fucked up.

>>82075993 (OP)
They removed my foreskin

>>82076054
That's not at all how that works, Anon. IF anything, your dad gave your ASD, depending on how old he is.

>>82078052
nta but autism is largely hereditary

>>82077960
i'm conflicted as well. it's normal for children to feel unconditional love for their parents even if they don't receive any in return. i remember when i tried to hug my mom as a little kid and she often responded by pushing me back. neither of my parents seem malicious, but they don't seem to have any parental feelings somehow and didn't see much responsibility in parenthood. figured that school would teach me or something but the only thing school taught me was how to calculate the hypotenuse of a triangle, not stuff that is actually important in life. i don't think they view themselves as fuck ups. it's kind of hard to truly hate them. but i also don't have much reason to feel attachment to them. at this point i feel more responsible for their well-being because they are so codependent.

I wish my mom was more strict & set more boundaries. If they don't, you'll have to learn them the hard way in the real world (home harder than others). From personal experience, I can say that a child needing a father & a mother figure is non-negotiable.

>>82075993 (OP)
i have the exact opposite of mommy issues. my parents got divorced and my mom tried her best to make sure i was raised correctly. every time i made a mistake i got punished fair and currently i got a decent job and faily decent friend circle. i mean im not doing all great, but i have been taught to be aware i could be much worse. i drink but never got drunk, don't do drugs and don't smoke. i think i turned out pretty alright overall.

but when it comes to dating my mom simply put the bar to high, every girl i talked to or tried to date was rude, did drugs or have a quirk i find weird (one girl sent me their BDSM results on the first day and beg me to do the test and share my results and another took it as an insult when i implied i wanted to pay for her bill at a dinner)

i gave up, either i am somehow weird or i just have bad luck with women my age range

>>82078078
>at this point i feel more responsible for their well-being because they are so codependent.
that's funny, so do I
I hate them but they also mean the world to me and I love them

>>82078183
you're the good person here despite everything that has happened. there are normalfags out there who treat their parents like trash despite being lifted by them for their whole lives

>>82078479
I appreciate it anon, although I'm not perfect

im not sure whose fault it is, and even if it was my parents fault, i cant really blame them because i cant expect anyone to have known this was a thing, but they didnt get me circumcised when i had one of those really rare, weird medical issues which is actually legit solved with circumcision. sorta.

>>82078052
Nah, my mom's a weirdo with no friends that freaks out over sensory issues she has. My dad's clean now and a turbonormie with lots of friends.

>>82077685
If you're a fembot that sounds exactly like what I'm looking for. I need someone much more messed up than me. I don't think I'm unique either, you should be fine. If you're a malebot you're in even more luck because the average women I've known have been much more accepting of trauma craziness than the average man I've known and as we all know anecdotes are better than real data gathering.

>>82078078
i can sorta agree on this. my folks had my sister first, and they went hard on her, tried to push her towards excellence from the very start. she ended up getting migraines from the stress and medical issues and such, so when they had me, they tried a different approach, pretty much a "hands off" thing. they gave me every opportunity i wanted, but only if i wanted it. showed the tiniest, sliver of interest in playing drums? got me a drum set, paid for a year of drum lessons. but they didnt force me to go, so the drum set collected dust.

its pretty grim because its totally my fault. all the means, tools, everything was there. i just didnt do it.

>>82075993 (OP)
Strict single-mother that was always angry and screaming at me over the littlest things. She also spoiled me materially, and gave me a tablet with unregulated internet access at age 6. She inherited me her autism (she's not diagnosed, but I see it in her)

My dad is a nice guy, and I understand that he couldn't handle being around my mom, but it still sucks that I grew pretty much exclusively surrounded by women.

(Oh, also, they racemixxed and created an ugly mutt)

>>82077679
Fuck man I felt that, cheers

>>82075993 (OP)
They fed me garbage food and enabled my obesity. I was 300 lbs by the time I was 14. I truly believe letting your child become obese is the worst possible form of neglect you can subject them to, in many cases it will simply ruin the child's life.

>>82075993 (OP)
My mother allowed my step brothers to bully me and my younger brother our whole lives, ridicule us for our inability to not speak our native language, infantilised us/spoke of us as if we were children even when we were transitioning into young men, especially with no active father in the house to teach us how to be men, and wonder why we aren't getting into relationships and why we don't want to build a relationship with them in our adult years.

>>82078078
>i remember when i tried to hug my mom as a little kid and she often responded by pushing me back.

People are going to be surprised when I don't have tears streaming from my eyes when my mother eventually passes, which is soon. I don't hate my mother but I'm not going to crash out when she passes.

picrel will be my attempt at expressing grief at the funeral. I don't hate my mother, but I won't be in complete tears either. When she does pass eventually, I will probably sever all ties and connection I have with my family.

>>82081180
Might as well add that I was drilled to never talk back to them in any way. I was never allowed to express myself, and now they're surprised that I rarely talk to them. Now I have confidence issues in the real world. Allows people to walk all over me, but I've been working on that and have been getting better at expressing myself.

>>82075993 (OP)
Mom:
>workaholic (didn't really see her constantly till I was 13)
>always loud
>never wants to learn the tools, just use them
>screams when nothing goes her way
>screams when nothing works without figuring why
>always in an argumentative mood
>had a soft form of controlling personality
Dad
>know it all
>is constantly disappointed in me for stupid reasons (he pepper sprayed me for not going to college)
>hated failure in any situation and would scream at you for failing
>was very stuck up in his ways
>refused to help when I asked; when I reciprocated, I got deemed a war criminal
>always mad at me for stupid reasons
>controlling
>autistic

My parents wondered why I became an alcoholic the last 6 years

>>82081577
>he pepper sprayed me for not going to college
Kek what a faggot

>>82075993 (OP)
homeschooling through most of elementary and middle and i've thought about if my mom switching my preschool like 8 times messed me up socially when i was young.